Background: DH's family and my family are extremely different; both are very nice. We live in the same little town as DH's family and are ~1.25 hours from my family. I get along with H's family but we'll never be really close, there are just too many differences in interests and how we handle situations--that's fine. I have however shown interest in everyone by inviting various ppl in for lunch, going shopping with them, giving pony lessons, attending many functions, etc. showing that I care.
DH comes to any functions my family hosts with me, but he hasn't spent any time 1:1 with my dad or brother. Between the distance and how crazy life has been for everyone the past few years there hadn't been many opportunities to, but now that things are calming down they're coming up and H doesn't seem interested.
IE- My brother stopped in to visit a week or so ago. H hadn't seen him for months and rather than sitting down to visit he went outside and mowed the lawn. Not a huge issue since it was after work and my brother's visit wasn't planned but it came off unfriendly since it'd been so long.
I have a reunion saturday night that is being hosted right around the corner from my dad's house. Dad asked if H wanted to hang out and have a margarita for cinco de mayo/fish in the pond while I'm at the reunion and H was completely uninterested. He's staying home instead catching up with a friend or visiting his family and I'm leaving earlier to visit dad before I go to the reunion.
It bothers me that I've put myself out there to form relationships with the important women in H's family yet he doesn't want to do the same. I know some of this is differences in personalities; I'm bubbly and love being around new people while H is reserved and more serious. He does suggest doing things with my family like going out with my brother and his gf, having people up for dinner, etc. but he seems so closed off about doing anything on his own, without me around. I can't figure it out! Am I being ridiculous? How can I bring this up with H without being offensive?