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Can you just throw a party for someone?

A few weeks ago my MIL told DH and I that she was disappointed last year when we didn't have a birthday party for her. DH only has a brother and no sisters and she said now that a girl married into the family, she was hoping to have some more sentimental stuff. She wasn't asking for a big party, she just meant getting me, DH, BIL, FIL, BIL's gf and maybe DH's aunt together for some cake.

So DH and I are going to have a party for her. We decided on either a karaoke party or a barbeque. Either way, we want to have it outside. Her birthday is November 2nd, though, so it obviously can't be a birthday party if it's going to be outside. Her wedding anniversary is November 3rd so that won't work, either.

Would it be really weird to just have a party this summer? I like the idea of surprising her with it, so she wouldn't know about it ahead of time. But it wouldn't be a gift-giving occasion so it's not like we're just asking people to buy her presents. Just her extended family and friends hanging out for a barbeque this summer to make her feel appreciated. And it doesn't hurt that I (and BIL's gf) love to plan things.

DH is worried that most people won't come if it's not synced with a big event in her life. WDYT? Please, be honest. TIA.

Re: Can you just throw a party for someone?

  • image Jim&Jaime:
    This seems odd and forced.

    This. 

    If she wants to feel appreciated, why not drop a Hallmark card in the mail to her every now and then?  Or go out to dinner with her or make dinner for her once every few weeks?  And throw her a party on her real bday.

  • I agree with the others. It's weird.

    Wait until her birthday and then invite the immediate family over for cake to celebrate.

  • Ditto PPs, just make her a cake or take her out to dinner on her real birthday. And I'd personally be reluctant to even do THAT after she whined about not having a party thrown for her. What is she, six years old?

    DH only has a brother and no sisters and she said now that a girl married into the family, she was hoping to have some more sentimental stuff

    WTF? That would piss me right the fucck off. Her sons are somehow incapable of planning anything for their mother because their penises might get in the way? If she ever blames her lack of birthday celebrations on YOU then I hope you tell her to shove off.

    image
  • What did you do for her birthday? I mean wanting you family together for cake isn't a big request, I'm hoping you guys did something?
  • Well... I think a birthday party months early for a MIL who whines to your DH after the fact doesn't really make sense.  Its not very fair to you either.  :(  

     also just FYI - I know some "older" folks plan their OWN birthday parties by treating everyone else to a fun day or meal etc.

    GL

     

  • image wejustwant2:):

    Well... I think a birthday party months early for a MIL who whines to your DH after the fact doesn't really make sense.  Its not very fair to you either.  :(  

     also just FYI - I know some "older" folks plan their OWN birthday parties by treating everyone else to a fun day or meal etc.

    GL

     

     

    Well, yes, I am the type of person who would just plan my own party. But, there is some tension between DH and BIL which had climaxed right around November because it was getting close to the holidays, so maybe she was trying to avoid an argument.

    I wasn't offended. I like to plan things and don't mind spending the money on a party, I was just hoping I could get away with doing it over the summer. Oh well, guess we will have to find somewhere inside.

    Thanks.

  • Oh, and on her birthday, we got her a gift and ate dinner at her house with her and FIL the night before.
  • Agreed that it seems forced to have it in summer.  Why does it have to be outside? 
  • Sounds like MIL needs more attention throughout the year too?  Take her out to dinner or have her over for whatever a couple times a month, with your family, very casual.  She would probably love it if you asked her to show you (and dh?) how to make a favorite dish she makes.  These are sentimental things that she would probably appreciate!

      

  • Why not get everyone together in the summer for either July 4 party, Labor Day Party, or call it a family reunion.
  • It sounds weird to me.
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • image Minipenguin:
    Oh, and on her birthday, we got her a gift and ate dinner at her house with her and FIL the night before.

    Yeah, I'd really be reluctant to throw her a party. It's not like you guys just forgot her birthday entirely.

    Does she normally biitch and moan about stuff like this, or not getting her way?

    image
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