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Tick Tock Goes The Clock...

My husband and I have been together for almost 5 years...we just got married this past July....my decision on wanting to have a baby within the next year or so keeps flip flopping.....all my friends have kids already and keep telling me the longer I wait the greater the risks....is it really so bad to want to wait things out and spend some more time with my husband? I'm barely going to turn 29 at the end of this year....normally it wouldnt get to me so much but people talking about pregnancy risks increasing with age is really starting to irk me....is there anyone else going through the same thing?
The Garcia's

Re: Tick Tock Goes The Clock...

  • Kind of. I'm 35, so I've been going through it for a while now, but of course it really ramped up around my 35th birthday. I've done some research and, yes, risks increase with age, but it doesn't make it impossible. Nor are the risks as scary as society makes them out to be. Even past 35, your chances of getting pregnant and having a healthy baby are very high. Not as high as a 25 year old, but still damn high. And my general reaction to people who insist that I'm hurting my chances or whatever is to tell them to STFU. I didn't tell them what to do with their bodies, they should leave my decisions to myself.

    It is absolutely not bad to want more time with your husband. Enjoy one another. Enjoy sleeping through the night and taking vacations on a whim or going out to dinner without having to arrange a babysitter. You're young. You have plenty of time.

    image
  • Ditto on the kind of.  But we are getting married in two months.  I'm 32 and my OB/GYN made a comment to me at my last annual about me not getting any younger.  It irked me.  I know that, but we are still toying with the idea of when to start TTC.  The doc actually told me "well you should consider starting now because it will be easier on your body than waiting a year or two."  WTF?  It's not like Im about to go through menopause.  And with just finishing my degree and starting my career, AND having a wedding to pay for, we are in no way ready financially to start.  We were thinking about maybe Nov/Dec, after the wedding maybe trying, but after this last weekend, we decided we were going to wait for a while and get our lives situated as married.  I've had many friends/cousins etc have perfectly fine babies at 35+.  So don't let it irk you.  Go do your own thing.  Wink
    Bobo says smile!!!!

    image
  • yes, risks increase... but it's a gradual process.  It's not like when you turn 30 your fertility drops.  I read somewhere that you're most fertile in your teens... that doesn't mean anyone is suggesting to the teenagers to 'hurry up... cause you're not getting any younger'.

    I wouldn't worry about, and have kids when you and your DH are ready financially and emotionally.  Don't let anyone rush you into something as major as adding a human being to your family.

     

  • i completely understand!  I'm 29 too, but I told myself I would live my 20's kid free.  I guess because my Mom was a young mom that I decided early on, I would wait as long as possible.  If you're not ready, you're not ready. I understand about peer pressure, everyone around me talks about babies and birth!
  • image Chicklit:

    It is absolutely not bad to want more time with your husband. Enjoy one another. Enjoy sleeping through the night and taking vacations on a whim or going out to dinner without having to arrange a babysitter. You're young. You have plenty of time.

     

    Thanks so much for your insight and advice :)

    The Garcia's
  • image Devil_Ducky:
    And with just finishing my degree and starting my career, AND having a wedding to pay for, we are in no way ready financially to start.  We were thinking about maybe Nov/Dec, after the wedding maybe trying, but after this last weekend, we decided we were going to wait for a while and get our lives situated as married.  I've had many friends/cousins etc have perfectly fine babies at 35+.  So don't let it irk you.  Go do your own thing.  Wink

     

    I graduated from college 3 years ago...We had saved up for our wedding and just had our house built last year....We try to be as financially responsible as we can...I'm constantly getting the  "there is never a perfect time to be a parent" speech from my MIL....which I guess I understand ...She's an RN that gives me the friendly reminder that "i'm not getting any younger"

     

    I'm sure there are tons of women out there that manage to juggle a career and a family (heck my mom did it) but in the same token i'm constantly hearing how much things will change at my place of work once I have a baby...I work as a civil engineer in transportation (unfortunately still male dominant - at least at my office) the few women engineers that I know have all said that they chose to wait to start a family until they were better established with their firms....that's the same route I feel that I will be going in as well....

     

    Congrats to the both of you....and best of luck with your wedding plans! Smile

    The Garcia's
  • image shaunessa:
    i completely understand!  I'm 29 too, but I told myself I would live my 20's kid free.  I guess because my Mom was a young mom that I decided early on, I would wait as long as possible.  If you're not ready, you're not ready. I understand about peer pressure, everyone around me talks about babies and birth!

     

    I was raised with a young mom too! She had me at 18 and practically drilled into my brain that I needed to wait until I completed my degree and established a career to get married and start a family...*sighs* Got to love our moms for that! Big Smile

    The Garcia's
  • image shanwalk2:

    yes, risks increase... but it's a gradual process.  It's not like when you turn 30 your fertility drops.  I read somewhere that you're most fertile in your teens... that doesn't mean anyone is suggesting to the teenagers to 'hurry up... cause you're not getting any younger'.

    I wouldn't worry about, and have kids when you and your DH are ready financially and emotionally.  Don't let anyone rush you into something as major as adding a human being to your family.

     

    Great words of advice! Thanks Smile

    The Garcia's
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