We've been handing down M's clothes and other things to her little cousin. we wanted to help out BIL and SIL since they did adopt and it was pretty sudden so they didn't have anything ready. We let them borrow alot of clothes, a swing, bouncer, and her bumbo. We found out that my brother and his wife are expecting a daughter this summer and wanted to lend them stuff also. DH called called BIL and found out that they have given away most of M's stuff to other people that they knew. I especially wanted the swing and her clothes back. Thankfully they did keep her "nice" clothes, but when I looked in the box there were formula stains all over the dresses. It looked awful.
I was pretty upset about the stains and the fact that they didn't ask us if it was okay to lend the items to someone else. Now I feel bad because I thought I would have the swing to let my brother use, but it's currently being used by someone BIL works with. I don't know what to do in this situation. I feel like I can't trust them enough now to hand down anymore things to them because I'm afraid I won't see them again. WWYD?