So this weekend is my surprise party for DH's 30th birthday. However, my grandfather is not expected to make it more than a couple more days (the party is on Sunday afternoon). The plan is that when grandpa passes, I'm going to drive up to my family's house (they live about 6 hours away), and DH will come up later (he doesn't get as many days off because it's his in-laws). I have made the decision that if my grandfather passes before Sunday, I'm going to cancel the party so I can leave right away. I have called several people on the guest list who we are really close with to let them know what the plan is (they know grandpa is very sick).
So my question is, how do I tell the people that we are not as close with, if it comes to that? Clearly, I will have to tell DH at that point (some things like the cake can't be cancelled that close to the event), but what do I say to his coworkers that don't know grandpa is sick?
MIL (who is down this week for the party) said we can take the food (I ordered a cheese and veggie tray for the party) up with us to my family's house. She lives in the same town, so will probably go up with me. She said it might be nice to have something like that up there anyway for people to munch on when they come.
Please help me know how to handle this very emotional situation! TIA!