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MTV's No easy decision

Did anyone catch the special last night on MTV with one of the 16 & Pregnant couples and their decision on what to do with the SECOND unplanned pregnancy?

I just heard about it this morning but I hope my DVR taped it.

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Re: MTV's No easy decision

  • I didn't know it was on either but I noticed it was taped on my DVR this morning! I'm interested to check it out tonight.
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  • I'm watching it now!!!
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    74 books read in 2011
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  • We watched it last night.  It was interesting.
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  • I'm watching right now.  I'm pro-choice but I don't think abortion should be used as a birth control message.  Makes me think of all those nesties that are trying to get KU.
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  • image Amander13:
    I'm watching right now.  I'm pro-choice but I don't think abortion should be used as a birth control message.  Makes me think of all those nesties that are trying to get KU.

    It's not portrayed like that at all. 

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  • image Amander13:
    I'm watching right now.  I'm pro-choice but I don't think abortion should be used as a birth control message.  Makes me think of all those nesties that are trying to get KU.

    That is totally not what it was.

    She fully acknowledges her failure to keep up with her birth control and that it is her responsibility to do so. It wasn't like she said "Oh crap I forgot to take my bc and now I'm pregnant, oh well I"ll just go get an abortion!"

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  • image Five_letter:

    image Amander13:
    I'm watching right now.  I'm pro-choice but I don't think abortion should be used as a birth control message.  Makes me think of all those nesties that are trying to get KU.

    It's not portrayed like that at all. 

    I watched it this morning and agree with Five_letter. It was very clear that MTV was focusing on the third option if you find out you are pregnant. I highly respect all of the women on this episode that talked about their experiences.

     

    Spoilers about the episode below. 

    James and Markai were using birth control, just not effectively like they thought they were. It sounded like Markai needed to be better informed, which she admitted she could have done more research. I'm really hoping that after this experience they will make sure to not end up with another unplanned pregnancy. They seemed to realize what an impact another child (at this time) would have on their lives and their daughter's life. They didn't make their decision lightly.



     

  • This is what she posted on her FB page last night:

     

    Honest to God I feel your pain. If your pro-life I understand. If your pro-choice hey Im with you. If your anti-abortion I was you. Each and everyone of you I listen to. Even if its only calling me names or disrespecting me because of my decison. && I though it would hurt but it doesnt because all you are is one click away from being deleted. You all dont know me hell you dont even know why I made my decison you just know Ive made it and thats ok that you dont know me. All you know is what you see on tv. You have made me into a charcter for your amusement and nothing else. My motive for this episode is to not say "hey look at me I got pregnant again". But to encourage you all to stand up for each other. To respect one another to feel each others sympathy and pain. One thing we can all agree on is no one is pro-abortion ! (no one with a heart at least) No one wants to have an abortion or even go through this type of procedure. I never did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. I did it because it was the BEST thing to do for my family. Ive talked to women who have had put a child up for adoption, I have also talked to women who have kept their children when they knew they couldn't afford another child Ive talked to people who need me/ Know me the most God, James, My Mom (Sarina) , My sister (Samarra) && I still did what was BEST. How far do you think we should have went ? Im a 19 year old with a one year old with only a high school diploma with a 20 year old wonderful man with only a high school diploma who already works his ass off to make sure I'm happy and his daughter is happy. Working dammit split shifts , comes home tired but with a smile on his face because he doesn't want us to see him all beat up. Never comes home just to play video games, or go out with his friends, or even takes a damn nap. But kisses me his daughter plays with her for the few hours he can get with his daughter through out the day. I wash her up give her a bottle and its bed time. But than he doesn't even sleep he just stays up with me to have our quality time. Lets talk financially . . . Kari needs training pants , new clothes every 3 months , Our rent , our electric, our food all that needs to be paid for. That leaves us for a little to put in savings. But oh wait it just tunred fall time to get Kari's winter clothes && than it begins. We struggle just a little Sacrifice just alot to make sure our FIRST CHILD has EVERYTHING she needs.

     

     

     

    I didn't make this public because I thought your opinions mattered. I didn't make this public because I thought you would respect me. I could have easily not told a soul and kept you all thinking I'm just another girl on 16 & Pregnant. I made this public so you all can see how disrespectful people can be because of a decision they feel was right for them. Not for you because its not your life not your concern. But for a person to have THE NERVE to judge like tgey are without sin for a person TO RIDICULE AND CALL ANOTHER ONE on their faults because they feel they have known of their own for you to sit their and try to make me feel as worse that I already do because I had to make a sacrifice a BIG SACRIFICE out of love for myself, love for my daughter, love for my boyfriend, love for my future kids, love for my future as having my doctorate in animal science Love for my life ! because your angry ? for what I want to know. At me because I think its right ? I never said it was ALRIGHT !!! I never said it SHOULD HAVE BEEN but I say this riot these gangs that HUMAN BRINGS have to protray for themselves because of what they BELIEVE (not know but believe) is right has to end. Stop this war and come together please because either way it goes ITS JUST NOT AN EASY DECISION !

     

     

    Oh && by the way I thought I was on birth-control. I thought I was protected I thought this would have never been anyhting I would have to go through. But it just shows you . . . you will never know. I don't blame anyone but myself for it though. I should have educated MYSELF on the medicine that would be transferred into my OWN BODY. They have so many free resources I could have looked into. The internet, the library, the phone. ANYTHING. I should have been puttin a condom on James. I should have been putting one on myself (Condoms for women do exist). But I live and I learn each and every lesson God teaches me. Even if I have to re-live that lesson over, and over, and over again and again until he finally teaches me. I can honestly say now God I have learned my lesson and please lord throught out my journey the world will one see tomorrow I want you to let them know this lord "I have gone through it , I dont want them too go through this " to them who have "your not alone and I will ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU :) I feel your pain, your happiness, and your sorrows =.( " and to everyone who disagrees "I respect you, I still have love for you :) I hope you feel the same. I hope you know this was very very very hard for me && I need your support your help I feed off your encouragement." && to those who just bash my name because it makes them feel better about themselves "I love you , I'm sorry you dont like me but Ima always be me. I hope you open your ears and listen and not your eyes and hatred." And this is what I leave to all of you. Thanks && good night

     

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  • I'm glad they did a show about abortion. It's something no one ever talks about, but it needs to be out there. I think a lot of people do think it's an easy out, or that they'd just have one if they did get KU as a teenager. I appreciate that they showed how difficult a decision it was. I think they did a good job of reflecting that.

    Even the other girls who talked about it -- the one who cried years later. I have a friend who had an abortion and 10+ years later still beats herself up over it. It was incredibly painful for her, even though it was right for her at the time. 

    We can't judge them for having an abortion if we're watching a show about teenagers getting pregnant, having the baby and giving it up for adoption. Like it or not, it's an option for pregnant women. 

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  • image Amander13:
    I'm watching right now.  I'm pro-choice but I don't think abortion should be used as a birth control message.  Makes me think of all those nesties that are trying to get KU.

    How did you watch it and get that impression? They didn't use that excuse at all. 

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  • I just now watched it online.  A common theme seems to be that these young girls are using birth control, but they don't know how to use them properly.  For example, Markai (sp?) said she didn't know that she had to get the Depo shot again so soon or else it wouldn't be effective.  And Katie (interview with Dr. Drew at the end of the show) said she had no idea that the birth control wasn't absorbing since she'd been vomiting.  I also remember another teen from 16 & Pregnant saying she was on antibiotics and didn't know it could make her BCP ineffective.   

    This is alarming to me that they're trying to do the right thing by using birth control but don't know much about it.  Is this something that doctors thoroughly discuss with teens when they prescribe these meds?  I wasn't on the Pill as a teen so now I'm curious.  And come to think of it, I don't think my doctor has ever gone into detail about these topics with me now...But I'm much older and already know these things, so there's no need for it.  But I just keep thinking that as a teen, I seriously doubt I would've thought to do further research or asking specific questions either, just like these girls.  Back then, I was more likely to just trust a doctor to tell me anything I needed to know rather than asking for more info.  I just wonder if this is what is happening to these girls...they're ignorant and don't have enough info. to use BC properly.             

  • As someone who was prescribed BC as a teen for medical reasons, I really do not feel that my doctors fully informed me about the proper use of BCP's (I don't know about the shot). Maybe because I was on for medical reasons and was not sexually active, they didn't make a huge deal of it.  Pretty much all I remember them telling me was "if you miss a pill, take one as soon as you remember or wait until your next dose and double up." It was my own reading- granted reading of the included pamphlets with the BCP- about antibiotics, vomiting (they made me very ill and I vomited frequently), or really taking at pretty close to exactly the same time daily.

    Dr's and parents need to talk to teens about proper BC use, and have it be an ongoing discussion to make sure that they understand, talk about back up methods if the girls are ill and taking meds, vomiting, etc.  

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  • It's really hard to believe that a doctor wouldn't go into great detail with a teen who had already had one child. That seems so ridiculously irresponsible of her doctor. I was in my 20s when I got on the pill and had a very thorough discussion with my doctor when I first got the prescription. 
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  • I was 24 when I went on the pill and my doctor told me nothing.  Thank God for the internet.  
  • I just finished watching it. I thought it was really good. I do think it felt a little rushed and I wish they would have/ could have shown the pre-operative counseling. It sounds like they really, really thought out it, talked to people they loved and trusted and had to take everything into consideration. I'm glad they did discuss this as an option, and showed that none of the outcomes of teen pregnancy are easy- parenting, adoption or abortion- and they all have long term consequences, financially, emotionally, time, energy, etc

    I'm glad I finally watched any of 16 and preg. I was one of the people who was under the false impression that the show glamorized teen pregnancy and parenting. I now think all teens should watch it, and see the variety of circumstances they are in and choices that each of the teens makes

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  • I thought they did a good job. I thought it was crazy when they said that one out of every three women will end up having an abortion in her life in the US. That's insane! And that it's one of the most common surgical procedures. I understand why, but it's sad that something so incredibly common is still so taboo. I googled abortion after watching this episode to learn more about it and I could barely find anything that wasn't political. Nothing from people who have BTDT, nothing about what the actual procedure feels like for women. Any other surgery and I'm sure I'd be able to find tons of nonbiased information. It made me even happier they chose to do this episode.

    On another note, I'm surprised she got pregnant so quickly after missing her shot. I was on Depo and it took me nearly 2 years to ovulate regularly and almost a year to even get my period back. I know that can happen, but still....

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  • I watched it tonight and I thought they did a good job too. I recently had a m/c and D&C and wasn't sure how I would feel about the special, but I actually enjoyed their conversation at the restaurant where Markai tried to explain her pain and loss to James about it being a baby vs. a ball of cells. DH and I had the same issue initially -- he didn't get why I was so attached to "a ball of cells" and her explanation really touched me.

    BFP 9/22/10, missed m/c 11/1/10 at 9w3d, D&C 11/3/10, diagnosis: trophoblastic hyperplasia
    BFP 6/18/11, missed m/c 8/16/11 at 11w2d, D&C 8/17/11, diagnosis: baby girl with Trisomy 21
    BFP 5/29/12, healthy baby boy born 2/12/13 at 40w5d :)
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  • image melissainabq:

    image Amander13:
    I'm watching right now.  I'm pro-choice but I don't think abortion should be used as a birth control message.  Makes me think of all those nesties that are trying to get KU.

    How did you watch it and get that impression? They didn't use that excuse at all. 

    I didn't necessarily get that impression from the show. But, having been in social work for years I've know moms that got 5 to 6 "procedures" along with having a couple children.  Unfortunately I assumed the worst about them, getting pregnant so soon after having an unplanned pregnancy.  Hopefully some of the younger viewers can see that bc isn't 100% if it's not taken properly.

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  • image KatieJL121:

    This is alarming to me that they're trying to do the right thing by using birth control but don't know much about it.  Is this something that doctors thoroughly discuss with teens when they prescribe these meds?  I wasn't on the Pill as a teen so now I'm curious.  And come to think of it, I don't think my doctor has ever gone into detail about these topics with me now...But I'm much older and already know these things, so there's no need for it.  But I just keep thinking that as a teen, I seriously doubt I would've thought to do further research or asking specific questions either, just like these girls.  Back then, I was more likely to just trust a doctor to tell me anything I needed to know rather than asking for more info.  I just wonder if this is what is happening to these girls...they're ignorant and don't have enough info. to use BC properly.             

    When I wanted to go on the birth control pill, I went to my college's health center to ask about it.  I had to sit through a class on fertility and birth control, it was actually really interesting and I learned a lot about what kind of interactions there are, how it works, etc.  Anyway, if I'm not mistaken I was required to go to this class before they would give me the prescription.  I ended up not getting the prescription through them, but through my doctor back home.  My doctor just wrote me the prescription and didn't talk to me about it except to tell me to take it at the same time every day.

    Before I was ever sexually active, the other place I learned about birth control and contraception was at my church!  My youth group had a weekend-long seminar about sex and it suprises a lot of people that my church didn't just preach to us about abstinence.  Of course it was always presented as the best option, but they also gave us a lot of information about birth control.  (We also talked a lot about societal views on sex and stuff like that.)

    I know now that I was really lucky to have all the information available to me that I did.  It shocks me that the girls on this show are so clueless about how to prevent pregnancy and STD's.


  • image Amander13:
    I'm watching right now.  I'm pro-choice but I don't think abortion should be used as a birth control message. 

    This makes no sense.

    When is it okay in your eyes to get an abortion?  When your life is at stake?

    I didn't see the episode, and I might get flamed to high heaven for this, but I'm glad that MTV featured a couple choosing the secret "third option" that has been the elephant in the room each season.

    Where did the couple live?  Did they have ready access to a provider?  Did they discuss how abortions are nearly impossible to get in some states?  

     

     

  • image insominac:

    image Amander13:
    I'm watching right now.  I'm pro-choice but I don't think abortion should be used as a birth control message. 

    This makes no sense.

    When is it okay in your eyes to get an abortion?  When your life is at stake?

    I didn't see the episode, and I might get flamed to high heaven for this, but I'm glad that MTV featured a couple choosing the secret "third option" that has been the elephant in the room each season.

    Where did the couple live?  Did they have ready access to a provider?  Did they discuss how abortions are nearly impossible to get in some states?  

     

     

    I believe they lived in FL. 

  • image MoreAdventurous2007:

    On another note, I'm surprised she got pregnant so quickly after missing her shot. I was on Depo and it took me nearly 2 years to ovulate regularly and almost a year to even get my period back. I know that can happen, but still....

    A friend of mine from high school was in the exact same situation as Markai. She got pregnant at 17,and got pregnant again 11 months later after lapsing on her shot (I don't know how the shot works but she said she got it a week late or something like that). She chose to keep her son but he was sadly a stillborn late in the 3rd trimester. It was so sad. She got pregnant again soon thereafter admittedly trying to "replace" her son, and when it turned out to be a girl she decided to try for another just a few months after having her... and she finally got her son.

    Anyway, two things-

    -It bothered me than an 8 month old baby was riding in a car forward facing.

    -Who is "Kimaria" or whatever the name tattooed on James' neck is? Definitely not Markai or their daughter. Whoops. 

  • image kelseymw:

    Anyway, two things-

    -It bothered me than an 8 month old baby was riding in a car forward facing.

    -Who is "Kimaria" or whatever the name tattooed on James' neck is? Definitely not Markai or their daughter. Whoops. 

    I agree with you on the first part. Honestly, I assumed it was a lack of education about car seat safety. Maybe someone will point it out to them now that they've seen the show so they don't do that with their next child. 

    I saw that tattoo too. I'm fairly certain it says Za'karia, which is their daughter's name. 

  • I don't think a single one of these girls knows how to use BC properly. It sounds like Ashley was the only one who "knew" but her mom wasn't listening (she was just hearing).

    My heart went out to Markai for the decision she had to make. Yes, she's young and stupid and all that, but I think an element of compassion should be exercised when hearing of someone who has made the decision to have an abortion. I really do not think she made that decision lightly or in place of "birth control" at all. 

  • I am extremely pro-life, and I still thought they handled it in a sensitive way. My heart broke for both of them; what a hard decision! I didn't think they portrayed it as a contraceptive option. Why do none of these girls use plan B? And why aren't their doctors explaining to them how to properly use different contraceptive methods! Although, at 16, I would have looked up the information for myself. I wanted to cry during that whole episode...poor kids.

     On a side note, their daughter is freakin' cute. :)

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