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Homecoming party girl

Okay, since I just spent the last five minutes typing you a response before you DD'ed, I'm going to post it anyway.  So here you go:

I would definitely say that you should not throw a welcome home party.  Homecomings are a mixed bag of emotions for you and your spouse - you are very happy to see eachother, but more than likely YH is sleep deprived and exhausted.  And as much as you want things to "go back to normal" as soon as you see eachother, the reality is that reintegration takes time, even for the strongest couples.  You have both been on your own schedules and living different lifestyles.  Those first few days together should really be just about you two getting used to one another again.

On top of all that, it is difficult to say at this point (since YH is not home yet) how he will handle reintegration.  You need to be very patient and understanding with him for the first couple of months.  It is normal for service members to have quirks after deployment, but they usually fade after a bit.  Things like not wanting to drive, be in crowds, go to fireworks, shop at a mall, etc. are all things that he might have trouble with initially.  Just be ready to take things one day at a time.  Everyone is different, but I would err on the side of caution, and do not bombard YH with a party and lots of people when he first comes home.  And if you don't heed my advice, please do not throw him a surprise party.  I can almost guarantee that would be a very bad idea.

Re: Homecoming party girl

  • Very well said K.  Since I personally have not experienced a deployment, I suggested she ask her H for his opinion and to keep it very simple and small. 

     

  • KB- I couldn't have said it better myself.  Let it be just the two of you for a couple of days and people can slowly come over for dinner here and there after a couple of days, IF he feels up to it.
  • image kb108:

    Okay, since I just spent the last five minutes typing you a response before you DD'ed, I'm going to post it anyway.  So here you go:

    I would definitely say that you should not throw a welcome home party.  Homecomings are a mixed bag of emotions for you and your spouse - you are very happy to see eachother, but more than likely YH is sleep deprived and exhausted.  And as much as you want things to "go back to normal" as soon as you see eachother, the reality is that reintegration takes time, even for the strongest couples.  You have both been on your own schedules and living different lifestyles.  Those first few days together should really be just about you two getting used to one another again.

    On top of all that, it is difficult to say at this point (since YH is not home yet) how he will handle reintegration.  You need to be very patient and understanding with him for the first couple of months.  It is normal for service members to have quirks after deployment, but they usually fade after a bit.  Things like not wanting to drive, be in crowds, go to fireworks, shop at a mall, etc. are all things that he might have trouble with initially.  Just be ready to take things one day at a time.  Everyone is different, but I would err on the side of caution, and do not bombard YH with a party and lots of people when he first comes home.  And if you don't heed my advice, please do not throw him a surprise party.  I can almost guarantee that would be a very bad idea.

    This. x1000. Wait for a bit. Let him get settled. 

  • I agree kb, but at the same time B really really wanted a party when he came back so we comprimised. I gave it 72 hours and said I'd plan it a few days later "just in case" the date changes (which by the way it did).

    We ended up haveing less than 12 hours together as a family before I had to host 30 people at our house. It was fine, great wonderful! but if I had planned if for when he'd come home I would have had a BUNCH of disappointed people at my house.

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