I thought about posting on the TIP thread however I didn't have the best luck with the national board when planning the wedding so I am sorry to burden y'all again.
So since the last advice post the money spending has continued and I don't think I touched on this last time but he has been staying out all night, a few nights a week. Usually he's playing hockey and I've gone with him before to play so I know the rink where he plays does stay open until about 2am-3am however Sunday morning he came to bed around 8am. My alarm went off at 7:45am, I hit snooze, that's good for about 9 minutes. He wasn't in bed. I laid there, my back to the door, he creeps in bed, my alarm goes off again. I get up, ask why he just got into bed. He says, I didn't. I took a shower and went to Church. He came over to my parents' house later that afternoon for their cookout, acted odd all day. Sunday night I asked him (calmly) why he came to bed at 8am he lied and said he came to bed at 6am. When I explained what I wrote above he said, that when he took our dog out that's when my alarm went off. I told him that was 7:45am. He said, Oh. I asked what he was doing, he didn't answer.
This is way personal but I believe it needs to be said. We haven't been intimate since February. He always tells me he's not in the mood. It breaks my heart because I feel like I'm doing something wrong. We've never had this problem before and I feel powerless because I'm not going to force myself on him.
We haven't slept a whole night together in I can't even tell you how long. He never comes to bed with me. We're rarely in the same room for more than 20 minutes, unless we're watching tv.
My "anger management issue" hasn't come up again, I've watched myself very closely to make sure I'm not raising my voice or nagging about something silly. I've never thrown anything or done anything of the sort, ever. And while I think about that day when he told me about all that I find myself analyzing things he's done, like the time we were arguing about him telling his buddies to check out this girl's myspace because she was "hot" and he'd talked to her all afternoon and she was so cool and he drew his fist back at me like he was going to punch me. And then denied it later like I wasn't there and didn't see it.
He seems like a different man than who I married and sometimes it scares me.
I plan on sitting him down this week and having an intense talk about everything I'm feeling and offering to go to couseling with my pastor. Although, because he's not Lutheran he never wants to go to my church which I respect but that leads me to believe he won't want to talk to my pastor since he doesn't know him. We can't afford counseling right now so that's pretty much the only option we have.
Again, ladies I'm sorry. The good friends I have that I explained this to say I should divorce him and cut my losses while I can. But I would like some insight from people who aren't emotionally invested in the relationship or biased. Thanks.