One of my bridesmaids had been a really good friend of mine for a brief time, I guess I thought we were closer than we really were because during my engagement she moved away for school and I barely heard from her. After a brief courtship with her boyfriend, they got engaged last December and made their wedding date two weeks after mine. She had been really talkative about my wedding, then silence. At this point I had already asked her to be a bridesmaid so my feelings were a little hurt because I knew she would really need to work on her wedding and probably wouldn't be very invested in mine. I didn't say anything though, hoping for the best. She wasn't invested at all. When she came home from school for a visit I asked her to hang out and she said she couldn't, she had to plan her wedding. That really hurt because I hadn't seen her since she left for school and I would've loved to see her even if it was just helping her with her wedding stuff.
We got an invitation for her wedding and RSVP'ed that we could go. But when that invitation came we were so knee-deep into planning our own wedding that we didn't think twice about the date or the time. We actually didn't think too hard about it until a week and a half after our wedding when we realized their wedding was on a Sunday evening and not a Saturday. It was a beach wedding so it was a 3 hour drive, we couldn't find a hotel room so we were going to go up and back, but at the last minute our dog sitter fell through and we just couldn't make it when it came down to it the day before. It was a huge mess and I felt so bad, apologizing profusely (in an email and text, tried to call but she never answers). I know it probably made her upset, but it just became impossible for us to make it.
I'm worried she won't be understanding and I'm a little worried it might cut off our friendship completely. I don't know what else I can do though, I don't want to pester her. It's ok if our friendship drifts some, but I don't want it to go down in flames. Any advice or thoughts?