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Getting past feeling like you're betraying your employer?
I'm a long-time lurker of this board, hoping to get some sort of advice/reassurance on something that's been bothering me.
Background: I love the company that I work for, and I love my job. I love the majority of the people that I work with. I LOVE my bosses, personally and professionally -- it is a family-owned organization (not my family, but they have treated me as such) and they are amazing people and have been really great to me in the handful of years that I've been there. For a long time I imagined myself having a nice long future with this company.
Here's where it gets icky: the organization is not doing well financially. It has been on a slow decline over the last year and a half or so, and it has become painfully apparent that the finances are now in a very deep rut that the company may not survive. Management is doing everything that it can to turn things around and remedy what has gone wrong, but (naturally) the state of things has me very on edge and worried about my own financial future. I don't know if there are 2 months left, 2 years left, or if they might be able to pull off a 180 and get back on track.
To the present: For about a month or so I have been very passively "looking for a job" - being very selective in what I submit a resume to and only applying if I really feel like I could see myself in that open position. Today I was contacted by two of the jobs that I had applied for, both wanting me to come in for interviews this week. It made me sick to my stomach (which I know is completely irrational). During the process of applying for jobs, and certainly when emailing these companies back today, I felt like I was personally and professionally betraying my current employers. My current organization is in what feels like its 11th hour now, and my job is an individual contributor position where I have a LOT of specialized knowledge that no one else in our organization has. If I were to leave, there would be a lot of holes that would be difficult to plug up, even if I trained a replacement to the best of my abilities.
I know that I need to do what is best for myself and my husband, and I don't WANT to go down with the ship, but I cannot get past the idea that by seeking out something else, I am being disloyal to the company and my employers // kicking them when they are already down. They have been nothing but good to me in my time there, and I really just feel like a terrible person for trying to go elsewhere.
I realize that I probably just talked in a circle, but has anyone been in a similar situation? Would love to hear any advice/personal experiences/etc. that anyone is willing to offer up