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I know I'm a jerky SIL (re: WIC)

I am only posting this to vent-I know it makes me sound evil, I suppose. BIL and SIL are all excited because they are getting WIC.  SIL doesn't work-and never has (well at least not since they got married earlier this year).  Not because she can't get a job-there are plenty of jobs within walking distance of where she lives (and she has a car).  She just doesn't want to work.  Which is fine, except then don't come take money from people who work.  Plus, MIL, SIL and I have all offered to watch the new baby while she works-we all live really close and between us, she would have plenty of availability. I know if she had to pay daycare, it may not be worth it for her to work.

I need to stop judging how other people live their lives and spend their money.  When I see them go out or buy things that I can't afford, I get irritated that they get govt aid that allows them to do those things while not working.  If I thought they actually were poor, I wouldn't care about WIC.  I think she spent as much on the baby's room as I spend to feed my kids in a year.

So, compassionate, non-judgmental people, put me in my place!

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Re: I know I'm a jerky SIL (re: WIC)

  • I find it hard to believe that the benefits provided by WIC enable her to live like the high-roller you seem to think she is. A few free gallons of milk and some peanut butter don't go as far as you think.
  • Well, WIC is primarily a research program so the government can understand how children are nourished. You have to have a nutritional need in addition to financial need. Your kid has to be "at risk" in some way, whether he's super-picky, or has physical feeding problems, whatever. And WIC does not supply that much. We're on it right now, and it gives us about $30 a month worth of food. It's nice to have, but it's not like they're getting a ton from it. The income levels are relatively high, and LOTS of people work and get WIC.
  • image c_joy:
    I find it hard to believe that the benefits provided by WIC enable her to live like the high-roller you seem to think she is. A few free gallons of milk and some peanut butter don't go as far as you think.

    I agree on that.

    HOWEVER, I am also ticked off that my tax dollars go to pay for food for someone who has $ to decorate a nursery.  I don't begrudge her not working as long as they can afford their own damn food.

    ETA:

    There are two issues.  One, taking WIC when it sounds like she has money to spend on non-necessities.  That is what gets me fired up.

    Two, the not working or not. I want to tone down my response, since receiving WIC isn't a huge amount of money and the number of minimum wage hours of working it would take to earn that money seems pretty high.

  • I know the WIC stuff doesn't go that far-which is why I think give up Netflix for the month and feed yourself.
  • Please take a step back. It's not far from this viewpoint to the philosophy that all disadvantaged people are slackers. We're on food stamps and WIC right now. We work very hard and are in a temporarily bad situation. If you saw me out in public, you'd never know. A few times, I've even gone to the supermarket with my Coach bag that I got years ago from a thrift store in Atlanta for $6. You can't judge on appearance, even if you think you really do know someone's situation.
  • image alwayscurious:

      I think she spent as much on the baby's room as I spend to feed my kids in a year.

    That's b/c she doesn't have to spend her money to feed her kids!

    Sorry, but situations like these are what push me further and further left on the fiscal scale.

  • I think what bothers me, is that the family has offered to help, and they don't want family help, but they are willing to take govt. help.  By "help" I mean we offered to have a shower for the baby, give the baby tons of barely used hand me downs (seriously, does every baby need a brand new high chair), babysit, etc.  I don't have a problem with people using food stamps or WIC at all.  I always assume they need it if I don't know their situation.  I know I dress my kids better than we can really afford, because I get good deals.  I assume other people know how to get those deals.

    I just don't understand announcing that you can afford a new high chair for your baby in the same paragraph that you announce that you get WIC.

     

  • Ditto CJoy.  I think it is ridiculous that she is on wic and a sahm, but I can't believe that allows them to "go out and buy things that you can't afford". 
  • http://www.co.oneida.wi.gov/county/app/docs/oneida/200602221455292191774.html

    Here are some income levels for WIC. If they make this or less than it, and they're getting WIC, they're not defrauding anyone, regardless of how irresponsible they may be with the money they do make.

  • image alwayscurious:

    I think what bothers me, is that the family has offered to help, and they don't want family help, but they are willing to take govt. help.  By "help" I mean we offered to have a shower for the baby, give the baby tons of barely used hand me downs (seriously, does every baby need a brand new high chair), babysit, etc.  I don't have a problem with people using food stamps or WIC at all.  I always assume they need it if I don't know their situation.  I know I dress my kids better than we can really afford, because I get good deals.  I assume other people know how to get those deals.

    I just don't understand announcing that you can afford a new high chair for your baby in the same paragraph that you announce that you get WIC.

     

    Really it just sounds like your SIL is an idiot.  I don't think that this necessarily reflects the situation of every single person receiving government assistance. 

  • Sorry - I know you're frustrated with them specifically. It just really irks me when people make judgements about things like this, because they often don't seem to realize that it could easily be them in the position to accept help. People on assistance are just human beings like anyone else.
  • Dear baby Jesus, please let today turn into welfare-debate day. I can't take another gay marriage/abortion day and I do so enjoy the Judgy McJudgersons who come out of the woodwork to get outraged over free milk.

    Amen.

  • I'm sure she isn't living the high life, or at least what I would consider the high life. 

    That being said, I would still think she is a lazy ***.  I'm assuming that as her SIL, you know there isn't some other reason she isn't working -- like a medical condition or something.

    Baby Numbers 11.8.10 The Sequel on or around 10.13.12
  • image c_joy:

    Dear baby Jesus, please let today turn into welfare-debate day. I can't take another gay marriage/abortion day and I do so enjoy the Judgy McJudgersons who come out of the woodwork to get outraged over free milk.

    Amen.

    dying, lol

  • I agree- she should get WIC.  They are poor.  And you are right, I can afford the stuff they have, I just choose not to buy it.  They have cable, netflix, a decorated baby's room- I have a house and a savings account.  I don't think people should go around analyzing how everyone on govt. assistance spends all their money.  I do need to step back.

     

  • image JenzillaMay06:
    Sorry - I know you're frustrated with them specifically. It just really irks me when people make judgements about things like this, because they often don't seem to realize that it could easily be them in the position to accept help. People on assistance are just human beings like anyone else.

    I don't think anyone is judging everyone on assistance.  But this chick has has every opportunity to work, yet chooses not to.  I'm not ok with that.

  • image alwayscurious:

    I think what bothers me, is that the family has offered to help, and they don't want family help, but they are willing to take govt. help.  By "help" I mean we offered to have a shower for the baby, give the baby tons of barely used hand me downs (seriously, does every baby need a brand new high chair), babysit, etc.  I don't have a problem with people using food stamps or WIC at all.  I always assume they need it if I don't know their situation.  I know I dress my kids better than we can really afford, because I get good deals.  I assume other people know how to get those deals.

    I just don't understand announcing that you can afford a new high chair for your baby in the same paragraph that you announce that you get WIC.

     

    I can see how this may be frustrating for you.  However, keep in mind that wht WIC help guarantees that their kids get healthy food every month.  Your giving them a high chair or other baby items may help them at that moment, but this is a few gallons of milk and such that they can count on every month.

    image
    Happy Spring!.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • It certainly does sound like they could better manage the money they do have. And while you already stated this, it's very important to remember that daycare is really expensive, and often if you can't get a really good job, it's not even worth it to work because day care will eat up all or most of your paycheck. They may be idiots with their money...but if they're eligible for WIC, it's nice to know that at least their kids are getting some good basic nutrition.
  • image jlthompson19:

    image JenzillaMay06:
    Sorry - I know you're frustrated with them specifically. It just really irks me when people make judgements about things like this, because they often don't seem to realize that it could easily be them in the position to accept help. People on assistance are just human beings like anyone else.

    I don't think anyone is judging everyone on assistance.  But this chick has has every opportunity to work, yet chooses not to.  I'm not ok with that.

    I don't think anyone is okay with it, but it is an isolated incident.  I don't get the whole "stories like this just push me further to the right" attitude.  

  • While WIC might not be high-rolling, taking even $30 from the gov't when you are perfectly capable of covering the cost yourself lands her in the no sympathy category from me. Your SIL seems to have resources many people would love to have but don't. When she takes this assistance, there is less for those who legitimately have no other option but assistance. People like her taint the perspective of programs like WIC, which can lead to cuts for people who really do need the help. I'm glad she feels ok with that.
  • image JenzillaMay06:
    It certainly does sound like they could better manage the money they do have. And while you already stated this, it's very important to remember that daycare is really expensive, and often if you can't get a really good job, it's not even worth it to work because day care will eat up all or most of your paycheck. They may be idiots with their money...but if they're eligible for WIC, it's nice to know that at least their kids are getting some good basic nutrition.

     

    I think this is a great point.  It sounds like your brother and SIL have whacked out priorities, so at least take comfort in the fact their kids are being feed something besides Coke and poptarts.

    Baby Numbers 11.8.10 The Sequel on or around 10.13.12
  • image amy052006:

    image JenzillaMay06:
    It certainly does sound like they could better manage the money they do have. And while you already stated this, it's very important to remember that daycare is really expensive, and often if you can't get a really good job, it's not even worth it to work because day care will eat up all or most of your paycheck. They may be idiots with their money...but if they're eligible for WIC, it's nice to know that at least their kids are getting some good basic nutrition.

     

    I think this is a great point.  It sounds like your brother and SIL have whacked out priorities, so at least take comfort in the fact their kids are being feed something besides Coke and poptarts.

    What's wrong with Coke and Poptarts!!! I like my Strawberry Poptarts. They are yummy! Smile

    image "There's a very simple test to see if something is racist. Just go to a heavily populated black area, and do the thing that you think isn't racist, and see if you live through it." ~ Reeve on the Clearly Racist Re-Nig Bumper Sticker and its Creator.
  • so what if she doesn't want to "work."

    she's a stay at home mom.

    that said, some fiscal responsibilty could do her some good.

  • image nitaw:
    image amy052006:

    image JenzillaMay06:
    It certainly does sound like they could better manage the money they do have. And while you already stated this, it's very important to remember that daycare is really expensive, and often if you can't get a really good job, it's not even worth it to work because day care will eat up all or most of your paycheck. They may be idiots with their money...but if they're eligible for WIC, it's nice to know that at least their kids are getting some good basic nutrition.

     

    I think this is a great point.  It sounds like your brother and SIL have whacked out priorities, so at least take comfort in the fact their kids are being feed something besides Coke and poptarts.

    What's wrong with Coke and Poptarts!!! I like my Strawberry Poptarts. They are yummy! Smile

    I have poptarts on the brain, as I just enjoyed a blueberry one (with frosting) from the vending machine.

    Baby Numbers 11.8.10 The Sequel on or around 10.13.12
  • image katorigasuki:

    so what if she doesn't want to "work."

    she's a stay at home mom.

    isn't that enough?

    I am not understanding this argument.  Are you trying to say that sahm is a job and so that should be sufficient?  While I agree being a sahm is a job, to me it is also a luxury that should be allowed only if you are financially able to do so. 

  • I am not understanding this argument.  Are you trying to say that sahm is a job and so that should be sufficient?  While I agree being a sahm is a job, to me it is also a luxury that should be allowed only if you are financially able to do so.

    Agreed. But what if you are a HS graduate with no college education and can only get a job that will basically pay for day care and gas. Isn't it better for your kids to have you home?

  • my reading comprehension sucks today. 

    i edited my post after re-reading the OP.

  • image katorigasuki:

    so what if she doesn't want to "work."

    she's a stay at home mom.

    that said, some fiscal responsibilty could do her some good.

     

    Her primary responsibility as a mother is to provide for her children.  She is able to do that, and chooses not to.  Someone needs to be with her kids all day --- she has people willing to do that while she works.  It is a luxury for her to be home all day with her kids -- their needs would still be met with someone else watching them -- for free nonetheless.

     

    Baby Numbers 11.8.10 The Sequel on or around 10.13.12
  • arg, nest ate my post.

     

    i edited my comment above.  i missed the part where she was decorating her kid's room.

  • image marriednow06:
    image katorigasuki:

    so what if she doesn't want to "work."

    she's a stay at home mom.

    isn't that enough?

    I am not understanding this argument.  Are you trying to say that sahm is a job and so that should be sufficient?  While I agree being a sahm is a job, to me it is also a luxury that should be allowed only if you are financially able to do so. 

    Married - I'd agree if I didn't know two women who are SAHM and should seriously be out working. But, in their view, they are doing what they feel the role of a mother should be - even if it means sacrificing material comforts to raise their kids. In fact, one would go so far as to shun you for working because "your kids need you more."

    image "There's a very simple test to see if something is racist. Just go to a heavily populated black area, and do the thing that you think isn't racist, and see if you live through it." ~ Reeve on the Clearly Racist Re-Nig Bumper Sticker and its Creator.
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