Cleaning & Organizing
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Feeling like we need a professional organizer

Hi,

I am at my wits end and so is my husband.  We have many arguments about how chaotic and non-organized our home is and how hard it is to get started.  We have always struggled with organization.

I don't know what to do.  I feel like I need some direction.  I want an organized home that is clean and simple and is easy to keep it that way.  It stresses us both so much and on top of that we have a seventeen month old son that has special needs so he takes a lot of our time.  I hear that professional organizers are very expensive and we don't have a lot of money to pay for them. 

At the moment I am ill and have strict doctors orders to rest.  My husband has been extra grouchy because the home isn't impecable and things are not getting done around the home that I usually get done, but lately haven't been because I am sick.  I have been sick for a month and husband is frustrated because he gets stressed out and is complaining that he is tired of me being ill. (I have an enlarged spleen and glands and found out I have mono) By the way, husband has no sympathy for sick people and usually gets upset when he hears about it.  His mother has been sick all of his life and he is tired of hearing about sickness. So this isn't something I can change about him. 

He is upset because the unorganized home is stressful and now he is having to take care of our son in the evening.  He complains about it every night.  I feel like I need to nix the doctors orders and just do the things that need to be done just to keep from arguing with him.  It is so exhausting to argue with him. 

I don't know what to do and need some advice how to manage this situation. 

Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Clip Art Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

Re: Feeling like we need a professional organizer

  • First, having mono is no easy task for a body to handle. You absolutely need to rest. But I also know how hard it is for a couple with a child (especially one with special needs) to feel rested and restful in a house that isn't quite a home, yet.

    Regarding your husband, perhaps he should speak to your doctor and learn more about mono online? I understand his upbringing was a certain way, but he hopefully got married "in sickness and in health," and did he honestly think that his wife would be healthy all the time? Sometimes one spouse/parnet has to pull some extra weight to get the family through a rough spot.

    Can you be more specific with what actual areas need organization and improvement?

    Actually, if you just have a nubulous idea of disorganization, but no idea what actually needs to be done, it can be very overwhelming.

    Start with a list, by room and then by closet, and by dresser/cabinet, of what you want to store in that space.

    Think of your home in zones. Then, think of each zone having separate parts. For example, this is a linen zone. On the left is the hand towels, then the wash cloths, then the body towels, then the beach towels. Then think of sheets. Then blankets. Then spare pillows.

    Get all like/similar things together in one place. Just dump them on the floor. And see each closet/drawer/cabinet as a 3D puzzle. You are just trying to put everything away in a manner that is orderly, yet functional and allows you easy access to the things you use most frequently.

    What areas are you two having trouble with?

  • Thank you for answering my post.  We moved into an apartment about two months ago and it has been chaotic ever since.  We are basically having issues in our bedroom, our son's room, and the office.  The bedrooms are the biggest issue.  We still trying to unpack and we packed up our home that we moved from in such a hurry because we were having a family issue.  So the packing was disorganized and I think this may be one of our issues because we can't find what want to find therefore causing some stress.

    We have a big closet in our master bedroom.  The zone thing is a great idea. I don't know why I didn't think of it.  One of the main things that I was working on before we left our house is that I was going through old clothing and trying to separate wants and keeps.  It got all messed up when we left and now I have to start all over.  The move was a rough move and hopefully we won't have to do it like that again.  When we buy a house, it will be more organized. 

    We just want it to get our home looking like a home and feel comfortable.  Thank you for the support on the illness thing.  I feel like it is kicking my butt.  I think my husband is frustrated because of what has happened with the family issue and the home we rented and then now I have been down for a month and not much is getting done and we are not really settled.  It has been a rough month. 

    Thank you for all your support and advice.  

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Clip Art Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
  • This site has a lot of great organizing tips! www.iheartorganizing.blogspot.com
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • The worst part of disarray is doing nothing becasue of being too overwhelmed. It starts some kind of horrible, self-loathing cycle (at least for me). LOL.

    With your illness, for now, do more resting than work, but do tiny things each day to feel good about even some small progress.

    I might open ne box per day and place the contents in piles in one room. As I open more boxes, start placing those contents together with your piles. By the time you get all the boxes emptied, all your stuff will be sorted and then you will just have to put away.

    I have found that it is hard to organize a closet or cabinet without having all the possible contents in my reach and view...not having it all right there usually means having to redo all my work.

  • image Nest Cayla:
    image MommyLiberty5013:

    First, having mono is no easy task for a body to handle. You absolutely need to rest. But I also know how hard it is for a couple with a child (especially one with special needs) to feel rested and restful in a house that isn't quite a home, yet.

    Regarding your husband, perhaps he should speak to your doctor and learn more about mono online? I understand his upbringing was a certain way, but he hopefully got married "in sickness and in health," and did he honestly think that his wife would be healthy all the time? Sometimes one spouse/parnet has to pull some extra weight to get the family through a rough spot.

    Can you be more specific with what actual areas need organization and improvement?

    Actually, if you just have a nubulous idea of disorganization, but no idea what actually needs to be done, it can be very overwhelming.

    Start with a list, by room and then by closet, and by dresser/cabinet, of what you want to store in that space.

    Think of your home in zones. Then, think of each zone having separate parts. For example, this is a linen zone. On the left is the hand towels, then the wash cloths, then the body towels, then the beach towels. Then think of sheets. Then blankets. Then spare pillows.

    Get all like/similar things together in one place. Just dump them on the floor. And see each closet/drawer/cabinet as a 3D puzzle. You are just trying to put everything away in a manner that is orderly, yet functional and allows you easy access to the things you use most frequently.

    What areas are you two having trouble with?

    I totally agree with MommyLiberty here... she's right about everything. 

    Also, I have had mono twice.. yup, you heard me correctly, TWICE! People say you can only get it once, but apparently there are different strands of mono! In college, my roommate had mono the same time as I did and her symptoms were completely different than mine: her throat got so swollen her dr had to give her steroids! After she got medicine for her throat she didn't have any other symptoms that impacted her day-to-day. I, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky... I was tired 100% of the time and I had to push through a heavy semester of courses (and keep a certain GPA) to keep my grades up to get into a study abroad program. I have never been more tired in my life! With that being said, I can only imagine what it is like for you having a young son while being sick. My recovery from mono was probably a breeze in comparison to what yours is going to be like. Just as MommyLiberty said... you need to rest! Seriously! I think it's a great idea to have your DH talk to your dr and/or read up on mono to try to understand things. He needs to be compassionate and understanding that this is your health and your health needs taking care of! Did he not think you'd ever get sick while you guys were married?? (silly if he did!) And you would be there to take care of him and not make him feel bad if he had mono!

    Hang in there, get healthy and feel better! 

    Thank you so much for the support. This mono is really kicking my butt.  I am feeling a little better each day. 

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Clip Art Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
  • Thank you for the support and the ideas.  Dh is being a nicer about things.  He has realized that I am truely sick and as of right now knows that I really do need to rest.  I have been doing little things here and there, but when I feel weak and tired I stop and lay down.  Dh has been helping me with taking care of our ds in the evenings, so I do get a little more rest then and able to do a little here and there.  It is a slow process, but it will get done.  Thank you for all of your support and advice and hopefully I will feel better very soon.  :)
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Clip Art Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
  • good to hear that you are able to make progress little by little!

     

    One of the things that always gets me overwhelmed is when a messy house is paired with a messy brain!  My house can be in dissaray, but if my brain is in order, then I can attack the house with no problem!  If my brain is also disorderly, then all I want to do is curl up and not do any of it =)

    That being said - one of the BEST things you can do while you're resting is to make lists, diagrams and plans, or research things online. Draw out each room as accurately as possible if you're a visual person.  Consider dual purpose furniture (benches with storage, under-bed containers, shelving in closets, etc).  Try to make a list of "everything in it's place" so that you know where you want to put things.  Create a staging area for all your "i dont know what to do with it" items and go through those last.

    For example: when we renovated our kitchen, I took the drawing of the space and wrote over each cabinet what I wanted to put inside. (top cabinet: dishes, bowls, cups. Bottom cabinet: silverware, serving spoons.....etc) This way I knew before we even started that all our kitchen stuff would fit perfectly!

     

    Then, when you do have energy - carry out the plan!  DH can assist when he has the patience and time as well...especially if he has your road map on how to do it.

  • image jrodgers239:

     Thanks for share these tips

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