My hubby and I have been together nearly 6 years, married for 2. We got together our first year of college, and have been inseparable ever since.
During the first few years of our relationship, we had sex almost daily. Over the last 2-3 years, it has slowed down to about 2-3 days per week (just depending on our busy schedules) and DH is furious over this. It has put a strain on our relationship for at least a year. He constantly picks fights with me over our lack of sex we have.
He says he wants, or needs actually, sex daily... I work full time, exercise daily, then come home clean the house, cook dinner, do laundry ect. Then I am expected by DH, to put out. Don't get me wrong, I do like to have sex; though not nearly as often as DH (i would be happy with 1-2 days per week in case anyone is wondering lol) When I tell him no, or go right to sleep, he gets pouty, and whiny... and accuses me of no longer loving him or being attracted to him.
To be honest, his behavior almost makes me resent him; and makes me not want to have sex with him at all. At this moment in time (in my more than irritated mood), I would be fine not having sex with him ever again. I feel annoyed even thinking about it. I feel like all he wants from me is sex; like I am being used. He works full time as well, but usually comes home and plays video games, or goes shooting with his buddies. I appreciate the hard work he puts in, but I feel like he expects me to be this perfect working, cleaning, laundry doing, sex goddess wife, while he sits around and wants to be pampered. I cant do it all!
I have tried and explain this all to him. On multiple occasions. He is the type of person who shuts down and becomes completely defensive; he will not open up and talk to me about it in a calm manner whatsoever. I have brought up marriage counseling but he is extremely hesitant to this (not to mention I am not sure we could afford it right now).
I am basically at a loss! Talking to friends I feel like having sex 2-3 times per week is great. Just not great enough for him. I do not understand why he is so hung up on this one issue that I truly feel is causing demise in our once very happy marriage. I feel like if I force myself to have sex with him daily, I will just resent him even more.
We bicker every once in awhile over the stupidest things, like him not helping me with house work, or not cleaning up after himself, but we usually get passed that fairly quick. This one issue is tearing us apart though. I know I still love him. And occasionally I remember what our relationship was like before all of this tension and I miss it. I just want to go back to what we used to be, but I am really loosing hope. I feel so distanced from him. I want to go back to being best friends, but I dont know how.
Am I being totally unfair? Any advice?