My in-laws have never hid the fact that they want grandchildren. I'm totally okay with that. In the past when they, mostly MIL, has made the rare comment, we've either ignored it or let them know that the thought of kids hasn't even crossed our minds. However, recently, the comments have been coming fast and heavy.
DH recently lost his grandfather, so we went to his hometown for a few days to attend the funeral. The whole time we were there, his parents made comments about us "giving them grandkids". FIL and MIL started up in the car on the way to the viewing screaming and laughing about "WE WANT BABIES! GIVE US BABIES!". So, I turned to MIL and said, "You're young enough! If ya'll want babies so bad there are plenty that need to be adopted!". FIL was like, "No! We want to be able to play with them and then give them back to their parents when we're done!", and I quipped back, "So do we!".
I thought that would be the end of it, but nope. At the viewing, MIL was holding her great niece, and DH's aunt came over to us and said, "Ya'll need to get on it and beat SIL (who is engaged) to have the first grandbaby! The first one gets everything and the grandparents always pay for everything! Ya'll won't have to worry about a thing!" MIL stood there nodding her head furiously with this crazed look of hope in her eyes. DH said, "I wouldn't hold your breath!", and I said, "SIL can have the first one! We're good!".
At the end of the night, MIL hugged me and was like, "I need you to stay healthy for my grandbabies!" At first I was bewildered because she doesn't have grandkids I could make sick, but then I realized she meant she wanted me to stay healthy so I can give her grandchildren. I didn't even know what to say. Every time she hugged me after that for the rest of the weekend she said that.
I tried to chalk it up to the family being in mourning, but the comments keep coming. Everything from wanting to move closer if we have kids, to her wanting to save things she comes across for our non-existent children to have one day. I don't know how many times we've told her we aren't thinking about kids (though, we haven't come right out and said we don't want kids period), and we've tried to turn the tables on them with jokes to no effect. And we can't even suggest she get involved with other children as she keeps three young children and toddlers during the week, and it has only served to fuel her "grandbaby fever".
FBIL told us that they are getting pressured a lot, too, so we can't even suggest the in-laws go nag them. He said that the in-laws have been constantly joking with them about getting their daughter pregnant on the honeymoon, and even SIL who wants kids is getting a little freaked out by how crazed her parents are getting. At one point she heard me telling the in-laws to put their hopes on SIL, and she went bug-eyed, shaking her head going, "nononononono!".
I just don't know what to do anymore. DH and I already limit our time with the in-laws for other reasons, but we feel like we might need to limit it even more. Plus, we're out of ideas other than coming right out and telling them that we don't want kids and they need to get over it right now. We didn't want to do that because we figured my uterus is not their business, and they'd get the picture when the kids never came along.
We've tried all the suggested tricks, and the in-laws are just stubborn about it. I guess we're just tired of it and I needed to vent. You are fabulous if you made it to the end of this post, and I thank you!