May 2012 Weddings
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How's the first year going?

I just read an article about how the 1 year of marriage is the hardest...How is everyone doing? Wedded Bliss or hell? haha! 
"Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly"

Re: How's the first year going?

  • Wedded Bliss for us! 

    Seriously.... our relationship has never been better. Living together is MUCH less stressful than when we were in college living with roommates.

    We also have much more time to spend together, and really haven't had any big fights... we are very similar people and I think we just have meshed well together, and have bonded together a lot this past year!

    Couldn't love him more :) 

  • 1st year is the hardest? Really?!

    Things have been good for us. The same as before we were married if not better.

    I'm curious, why did the article say the first year was the hardest?

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  • Outside factors have made this first year pretty difficult. We had a great summer and it was like living a dream but than my car blew up in the fall and it seem that there has been a black cloud lurking over us. 

    Work for both of us has been challenging and my health and family deaths added to stress but we been good getting through each challenge as it come and we handle the ups and downs pretty well.  

    I always play him Keith Urban's song Better life. It has became our anthem lately.. 


     Someday baby, You and I are gonna be the ones

    Good luck's gonna shine
    Someday baby you and I are gonna be the ones
    So hold on
    We're headed for a better life
    "Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly"
  • I never understood why people said that the 1st year is the hardest. Maybe it's because H and I have been together for so long and we had already lived together, but our 1st year has been about the same as our last few years of just dating. No big changes, nothing new to learn about each other really.


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  • I think they say the first year is the hardest for those couples whodidn't live together before marriage. They will spend the first year getting adjusted to each other and all that. 

    I would say it's been a combination for us. At first it was hell but that was due to outside stuff like MIL and me not working and all that. But now it is complete wedded bliss. Living in our house and being able to live our own life without certain people in our business like before things have calmed down.

    We lived together before so that was nothing but there were still certain things to get used to like money and holidays etc. 

  • I also don't understand why people say the 1st year is the hardest.  This has been a great year for me and H. We moved in together almost exactly one year before the wedding, and I didn't think that year was difficult either, so I don't know- doesn't make much sense to me.
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  • I think most of the first year has been our best year yet!  DH and I are closer than every and he is really my rock.  We have gone through alot of changes (new jobs, moving, ect) and I feel like it is just making us closer.  DH has made my wildest dreams come true, which I could have never imagined anyone doing for me!  We have had tough stressful times because of things going wrong with our new house, but really that has nothing to do with the first year.   
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  • DH and I didn't get moved in together until this past Halloween weekend, so I guess we're the exception :-P   That being said I would never ever EVER consider the first year of marriage to be the hardest, that's just dumb.

    The hardest year of marriage is sometime in your 40s when you can't stop gaining weight, you haven't had sex in a month, the kids are driving you up the wall and your DH just got a hot new fresh-from-college secretary in his office... THAT'S the hardest year of marriage...

    The first year of marriage for us, so far, has really been great.  We're still getting used to living together and we're still learning a lot about each other, but I wouldn't consider any of that hard.  I expect we'll be learning things about each other for a loooooong time. :)

  • Honestly, I feel like nothing has changed since we got married. Our lives changed a lot the year before we got married... we moved, and started new jobs, but our relationship was smooth sailing.

    I feel like when people say the first year is the hardest it's because traditionally the newlyweds did not live together before marriage so they are adjusting to living together. I definitely feel like the year after we moved in together was the hardest. It was a huge adjustment for us to get used to living with each other, but once we learned each other's habits and such it was no longer an issue.

    image Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I agree with the above sentiments about the first year being the hardest because traditionally people didn't live together first. I'd say the first year of H and i living together was DEFINITELY tough.. there was a lot of compromising on both of our parts and getting used to each others habits. we lived together for about a year and a half before we got married and had MOST of those kinks ironed out before the wedding... With that being said! lol 

    Our first year has been pretty great! Still trying times... but that's why you have each other to lean on... to help make it through those trying times! :) I think our relationship is great, and I will be the first to admit that we frustrate the heck out of each other sometimes.. but it's being able to work through those frustrations together that help keeps our relationship strong, and makes it what it is. I love him to death... and don't know what i'd do without him now. I used to laugh at people when they said their husband was their best friend.. and even a couple times H said I was his best friend and I thought that was ridiculous.. you have your friends/best friend and then you have your wife/husband... my roll of best friend was filled with my MOH.. but i can honestly say that hubby is totally one of my best friends!

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  • I'm with everyone else in that this year has been great for us. We've lived together for four years now and the first year we lived together was definitely the hardest. There were a lot of kinks to iron out and habits to get used to. We got through it though and it's been pretty smooth sailing since then. We fight sometimes but we bery rarely go to bed angry at each other.
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  • I would just like to say... count your blessings ya'll! That's great that you're having an "easy" time of it.

    This last year has been one of the most challenging of our lives I think- not just because H and I moved in a couple months before the wedding (nothing like having 2 adults who haven't even had roommates in years try and combine into a house with 2 homes worth of stuff). Honestly the summer was one of the most challenging and stressful in my career and right after the wedding I was rarely home. Plus in-law challenges, illness, surgery, and trying to do some basic renovations on the house. Oh and H has had some crazy work drama too.

     So we are finally settling in- the house is starting to be all settled and painted walls with photos and artwork on the wall.  I am finally feeling like I can reclaim "me" (I moved out of the city to the suburbs where I don't know anyone in a house I'd never pick that H loves in a neighborhood that I'm learning to like). I'm looking to make a job switch that will save about 5 hours commuting a week and work about 10+ hours less a week.

    It's not hell by far. I love H and I think we are perfect for each other. We are way closer and I'm thrilled we are married. But it has been a year that I'll celebrate and wouldn't want to repeat :-) 

  • Our first year has only been difficult due to the job market. H got laid off in October and has only been able to hold a part time job. So, there has been stress due to money, but it honestly has made our marriage stronger. If we can make it through this year, we can pretty much make it through anything. 
  • I agree with others, I think this took on a heavy stereotype back when most people didn't live together before marriage.

    For us it's been pretty much the same!  Even when we first moved in together we didn't really have any problems.  Just lucky in that regard, I guess.  2012 was kind of a bi-polar year for us, not relationship wise but just life wise - high highs and low lows.  The wedding and honeymoon were great but I'd be lying if I didn't say that our BIL/GM being killed in a car accident a month before the wedding didn't affect them at all.  It's just tough to watch someone (SIL) struggle so badly and know that there really isn't anything you can do to fix the situation.  And I think I've had (who am I kidding, have) some major separation anxiety issues now as a result.  But I'm trying not to and things have gotten a little bit better, I think it is just going to take time.

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    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I think all of you ladies are on the right track.  It's different now when most couples live together before they get married.  It used to be considered a "sin" to live prior to marriage, but honestly, I would not have done it any other way.  There is a HUGE adjustment living with another person, especially the opposite sex.  If you add a new marriage on top of that, your begging for trouble.

    Our first year has been wonderful together.  We of course have had little/small challenges along the way, but honestly count our marriage and our blessings every day.  We have different points of view, but those are also the things that we love about each other and understand that we're not freaking clones.  At the end of the day, as long as you're excited and look forward to coming home to him, the rest just doesn't matter.

  • Relationship wise this has been one of the best for us, we have had to support each other a lot this year and that has made us tighter for sure.

    In general its been a really tough year, I was unemployed for the first 2 months of being married, we finished the basement which cost a lot more then we were expecting, H got laid off a month ago and is still unemployed, my contract ends in 4 weeks then I will be unemployed again. And family drama galore with the situation with my brother, his ex and my nephews (and social workers etc). So its been a really stressful year but it has pushed us to lean on each other more, which has been a positive.

  • I never beloved people when they said the first year was the hardest either, but it really has probably been the hardest so far on us. Our relationship is fine, but we have had a lot of trying circumstances in this first year, and it's been great for our relationship to learn how to make adult decisions together about such things. We agreed to start TTC at least one year after being married so that we can enjoy married life as just the two of us, but I don't really feel like "married life" started for us until December or January, when we moved out of the ILs and into our own little modest apartment. NOW I feel like real newlyweds!
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  • Our first year has been really great. The stress of wedding planning being over was amazing. After the wedding we enjoyed each other more, spent more time together and talked about the future. Two months before the wedding I had quit the job I hated and started a new one that I loved, plus we had finished all of the renos in the house that we had started.

    Out of the nine years we have been together, this one has by far been the best!

  • Id say we have had a great first year....considering my first marriage never made it to 6 months before he was out....

    I think what has helped us the most is we did go thru so much death with my family before the wedding that we already had been thru alot with we lived together too...not gonna lie has had its moments...but def. been very easy and happy :)...Only thing we argue about is money, families, and who's taking the dog out lol....:)

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