May 2012 Weddings
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Birthdays-I don't get it!

This is mostly a vent....

I don't understand why, as adults, people insist on making their birthdays such a big deal.

example #1- FB friend (friend of SIL) just had 5 days in a row of bday celebrations...complete with photos every day of each celebration. She went out to dinner/out for drinks with the same people for at least 3 of the nights. She made a huge deal about her damn 31st birthday...

example #2- My SIL, who's birthday is next saturday. She's going out saturday night, fine, no issue there, H and I will probably try and go. Then on Sunday she wants to go to the casino, which is 3 hours away! Why?! Can't we just see you at some point on your bday and say "happy bday?" give you a gift and call it a day?

No becasue then everyone (mostly MIL & SIL) would be pissed at us because we didn't celebrate her bday properly...ugh! Plus H and I have no extra $ to spend so we'd be forced to go and watch everyone gamble? super, can't wait (insert sarcastic eyeroll) Plus having to drive 6 hours for nothing and spending at least $100 on gas...even more awesome.

When its my bday...I go out to dinner once, with H and my parents. I don't make a big deal out of it because I feel like as an adult bdays don't mean that much to me anymore, and I am perfectly happy having one day to celebrate it.

/end vent!

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Missing Our July Sparkler
BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron <3

Re: Birthdays-I don't get it!

  • I am 110% wholly in agreement with you!  My birthday was a couple of weeks ago - I worked, and my H had taken me out to dinner the weekend before since it was on a Tuesday and we both work late that day.  Usually my family comes up to go to dinner too, but this year it didn't work out and honestly it wasn't that big of a deal.

     A friend of mine was talking about how she was going to a birthday party that weekend for one of her H's friends.  I was like, really?  It's one thing to go out and have a drink, it's another to invite people to a bar specifically to celebrate your birthday. 

    Unless you are turning 30 or 40, I will eyeroll the sh#t out of any party or event(s) you specifically throw for me to attend in order to stroke your ego.  Not saying that it isn't a special day and that you can't do something nice for it with your closest loved ones, but the days of invitations to birthday parties/events for people who are in their late 20s is just a little ridiculous IMO.

    photo trex2_zps7ab4e9b0.jpg
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  • I love birthdays and Im having a big one this year 30. I know H is up to something but I do not know what. I love my birthday and other people birthdays. I was raise on you celebrate anything you can. Life sucks so why not have a reason to celebrate. With that being said, I do not expect or get mad at people if they can't make it out for my bday. Usually, i keep it low-key. I just say hey we going to this place for drinks to celebrate, if you can make it great, if not no biggie. We have also had birthdays as an excuse to have people over but we provide the food and drink so who doesn't like that.

    My friend group loves bdays so we usually have a good crowd for everyone's bday.

    "Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly"
  • image Melissa51212:

    I love birthdays and Im having a big one this year 30. I know H is up to something but I do not know what. I love my birthday and other people birthdays. I was raise on you celebrate anything you can. Life sucks so why not have a reason to celebrate. With that being said, I do not expect or get mad at people if they can't make it out for my bday. Usually, i keep it low-key. I just say hey we going to this place for drinks to celebrate, if you can make it great, if not no biggie. We have also had birthdays as an excuse to have people over but we provide the food and drink so who doesn't like that.

    My friend group loves bdays so we usually have a good crowd for everyone's bday.

    I'm totally fine with celebrating your birthday....day, not 5 days, not a birth-week.

    I celebrate my own birthday, and I usually have a great, happy day. But there's a point where enough is enough with bday celebrations (i.e birthday trips, planned parties by the bday girl/guy, asking people to come out and pouting when they can't/don't)

    I also totally understand the milestone bdays, and I think they're more "special" and I'm more understanding of people who have parties for them, although I do still side eye anyone who plans their own milestone bday party.

    image

    Missing Our July Sparkler
    BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
    BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron <3

  • I agree that you get ONE day, not a 5 day marathon of celebration.

    H & I keep it simple and just go out to eat. We don't even really do presents. I'd rather H spend on the money on us doing something together. Then again both of our bdays are near holidays, and mine is the day before my brother's so I think we're a little jaded.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers 

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  • Yeah, if someone else throws you a party...that's one thing.  I'm talking about the birthday boy/girl (man/woman at this age, really...) that feels the need to plan a party where 40 of their closest friends come to celebrate.  Or like other people said, the birthday weekend/week...

    I might also be biased, as several years ago I had a friend who had a complete meltdown/tantrum (think toddlers) in her mid twenties when she realized that no one had PLANNED anything for her.  She was/is a close friend, and at that point, it'd be fine if she had asked a few of her closest girl friends to meet her out for a couple of drinks, but she was absolutely ridiculous that none of us had "planned anything special for her".  I think that's where it all started for me with the whole birthday thing....

    photo trex2_zps7ab4e9b0.jpg
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  • image AurorasEnvy:

    Yeah, if someone else throws you a party...that's one thing.  I'm talking about the birthday boy/girl (man/woman at this age, really...) that feels the need to plan a party where 40 of their closest friends come to celebrate.  Or like other people said, the birthday weekend/week...

    I might also be biased, as several years ago I had a friend who had a complete meltdown/tantrum (think toddlers) in her mid twenties when she realized that no one had PLANNED anything for her.  She was/is a close friend, and at that point, it'd be fine if she had asked a few of her closest girl friends to meet her out for a couple of drinks, but she was absolutely ridiculous that none of us had "planned anything special for her".  I think that's where it all started for me with the whole birthday thing....

    This person might be SIL's long lost twin....no joke she pulls this same exact crap too!

    image

    Missing Our July Sparkler
    BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
    BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron <3

  • I agree. I have a friend who gets mad because no one does anything for her birthday. I always am the one who just sends out a message saying hey anyone want to grab drinks for my bday or I will be the one for someone else hey lets grab drinks...its never anything big and its usually something we be doing anyway. 
    "Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly"
  • I'm right there with you ladies. I mean I get the big birthdays 21,30,40,50 etc. And I'm totally cool with dinner and drinks or a little get together with family and friends at your house or whatever. If someone else plans it then great more power to them. But I also don't want to see your week long celebration all over FB for 2 weeks straight.

    I had someone do the same thing this weekend. H's cousin's wife (the one who got married NYE) anyways her birthday was last Thurs. So Thurs night her H took her to dinner great! Then Fri she went to dinner with her in laws, Sat she spent the day with her family including lunch and dinner, and Sun she went shopping. All of this was posted on FB and I think it's great since he family is out of town and all that. However I didn't need or care to hear or see it all weekend.

  • lol  I LOVE birthdays!  I celebrate our birthday month!  (DH and I share a birthday month)  We plan a trip for our bdays instead of buying gifts for each other.  But during the month we'll be like, "let's go out for margaritas!  It's our birthday month"  lol  Maybe I'm just using it more as an excuse than really celebrating the birthday  haha 

    I've never planned extravagant events for myself, I think that's selfish, and I've never been pissy if people didn't want to/couldn't come out for lunch/dinner/whatever.

    I don't know... I've always been raised that birthdays are fun and worth celebrating.  I'm usually as excited about other peoples' birthdays as my own!

    But on that note, I don't post on fb every night I go out and say that I'm celebrating my birthday... of course, I don't really post much on fb anyway.

  • I side eye people who take the day off of work when it's their birthday... like they are too good to work on their birthday or something...

    For me birthdays always involve H and I going out to dinner (we only do this for special occasions), and our family Sunday night dinner includes a few extended relatives for cake. This last year I had my friends come over, we used our fire pit, and had smores and drinks.

    I hate being the center of attention and don't like making a big deal out of birthday.

    On an opposite note... H turned 20 the first birthday we were together and it was the first time he had birthday cake since he was 10! His family didn't make a big deal or really any deal out of his birthday. They called and sent him a card, but there wasn't any type of celebration with cake. I feel like if it's your birthday, you deserve birthday cake :)

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  • I'm pro birthday! I love birthdays and think that it's great to celebrate on that day. A birthday week? Uh no. H and I usually just go to dinner or have cake with our families but its definitely something that we recognize. I love having things to look forward too - especially if they involve cake. 

    I agree that planning big parties and pouting when people can't make it is a little ridiculous though. The last time I had a big outing on my birthday was for my 21st. Since then, we've celebrated on a much smaller scale. 

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  • image cpm1223:
    image AurorasEnvy:

    Yeah, if someone else throws you a party...that's one thing.  I'm talking about the birthday boy/girl (man/woman at this age, really...) that feels the need to plan a party where 40 of their closest friends come to celebrate.  Or like other people said, the birthday weekend/week...

    I might also be biased, as several years ago I had a friend who had a complete meltdown/tantrum (think toddlers) in her mid twenties when she realized that no one had PLANNED anything for her.  She was/is a close friend, and at that point, it'd be fine if she had asked a few of her closest girl friends to meet her out for a couple of drinks, but she was absolutely ridiculous that none of us had "planned anything special for her".  I think that's where it all started for me with the whole birthday thing....

    This person might be SIL's long lost twin....no joke she pulls this same exact crap too!

    That was the short version of the story, haha.  Basically we have a tight knit group of 5 girls (including myself) that have been close friends from undergrad through dental school and are still close today (it's been 10 years since we all met each other!)

    Anyways, this girl's birthday was on a Sunday.  She hadn't mentioned any plans to go out for her birthday or anything (back in those days, usually the birthday person would just say what they were doing, if anything, and it was always very casual).  Basically she got super butt hurt that 3 of us in the group were going to be at a bachelorette party Saturday (the day BEFORE her birthday) for a girl we all knew but that only myself and another were close enough friends with to go to the bachelorette/wedding. 

    So I guess there were only a two options: A) Plan something for Sunday, her ACTUAL birthday (and we were very big into getting drunk on Sundays at this point in time, so no excuses that Sundays are lame).  Let the bachelorette have her party, because she will never have another b-party again in her life, but this girl WOULD have plenty of more birthdays.  B) Have a complete meltdown with tears & a tantrum because we weren't worshiping her on our knees for a random mid 20s birthday.

    It sounds petty but the magnitude of what actually happened was so ridiculous that our relationship isn't quite what it was and has not recovered to this day.  I'm pretty sure this girl thought she was going to be invited to the other girl's bachelorette party and wedding despite not being real good friends with the bride, and I think when she wasn't invited she got pissed.  She was so damn selfish about the entire situation, I can't stand people who whine until they get what they want.  And of course she got what she wanted, my other friend and I went to the bachelorette party (she was my ride) and she felt super obligated to leave early to go celebrate this girl's birthday (I did not feel the least bit obligated to go as that just shows birthday girl that if you throw a tantrum, you'll get what you want!)  Not that she wanted to, she "just felt bad."  Essentially we left a fun bachelorette party to go to some random bar where we were the only people there.  And tantrum girl acted so surprised we were there, all "oh, hi friends!" like she hadn't been acting like a 3 year old the week prior.  Honestly I was just so irritated being there that I have one drink and called my BF at the time to come pick me up.

    That's the long version =]  If I were in your situation, I'd tell SIL that I didn't like gambling, didn't have the money for gambling, and am not driving 6 hours to watch other people gamble.  But that I'd hope she has a wonderful time ;)  And if my MIL and SIL were pissed at me, I'd tell 'em to take a hike! 

     

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