May 2012 Weddings
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Trying to write a letter, need some help *long

As some of you may know, I am in school and trying to get into a dental assistant program for the fall. The courses I am currently taking are actually pre-reqs for dental hygiene. Both programs are highly competitive and less than 20 get in.

At any rate, I decided to try and get into a dental assistant program to gain knowledge and experience, plus it could take awhile to get into a hygiene program. In the state of MA to be a dental assistant you have to be certified and take an exam and all that fun stuff. Yesterday I went to an info session at the college I am taking the courses from (hygiene will be at a different school, but the credits will transfer over) and at the end, they did mini interviews with each prospective student, which I found kind of great that they did that. I told the lady (she's high up in the department) what my goals were and what I was currently doing. She sounded pretty enthusiastic about my plan.

During the admissions info part, the guy mentioned we had to write a letter of intent (this, by the way, was not mentioned on the application I already sent in a month ago with a letter of recommendation), and the woman I interviewed with didn't seem to think I had to write one. I am going to write one anyway. So, I want some help with it and see what more I could do. I googled samples, and they seem like a relatively short letter. But I want to make myself look really good. So, here it goes.......

 

Dear Admissions (I'll get the person's name),

My name is Melissa.... and I am writing to express my interest in your certificate program for Dental Assistant at Massasoit Community College.

I learned about the Massasoit Dental Assistant program through the Massachusetts Dental Society website and saw that it is an accredited program, which fully prepares the student to take the Certified Dental Assistant exam upon completion of the program. The hands-on experience the program provides, combined with highly knowledgable professors who work in the field, make the Massasoit Community College Dental Assistant program a great fit to begin my career.

In the short term, I'd like to start my career as a dental assistant and really learn how a dental office operates, gain experience, and knowledge. In the long term, I'd like to further my career as a dental hygentist. I am currently taking pre-requisite courses at the Brockton campus working towards an acceptance to a dental hygiene program in the future.

I would like to discuss this program and my goals with you over the phone. My number is ***-***-****, and my email is *******@yada.com.

Sincerly,

Melissa ****

 

Thoughts? Ideas? Thanks for taking the time to read this!

Re: Trying to write a letter, need some help *long

  • I am an admissions rep for a highly competitive nursing program, so I tell you that as long as you don't sound like you took 30 seconds to write it and you get the gist of what they are asking of  you. I know in these competitive programs grades are the biggest factor and no amount of awesome writing can change that but if you sound sincere and ready to work it adds to your resume. 

     

    I think you did a great job and it looks like you are ready to go!

     

    GOOD LUCK!!!! :)  

    "Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly"
  • Thanks. I know that grades are a big part of it, but I didn't want my letter to sound like I was uneducated and didn't know how to communicate my thoughts into sentences.
  • I love editing written stuff. :-)

    I personally would take out the paragraph about how their program is accredited and stuff, because they already know about their program. I would jump right into the part that goes after that (the part about the short term and long term). Then add a paragraph at the end where you really express your passion for the subject. Maybe tell a quick story about how you decided to go into this field, or explain why you feel like dental hygiene is where you belong (is it because you want to help people, serve people, what attracts you to the field?). You may even wanna put that paragraph first to grab their attention.  

    photo enhanced-buzz-23740-1333550931-30_zpsdc46930f.jpg


      Anniversary
  • I think it sounds great. Looks like you did your research and have a plan. You look highly educated and sounds like you knew exactly what to do. I think you did a great job.
  • I had to write one for my graduate program, so I understand your confusion.  To me it seemed obvious why I was applying, why do I have to provide you an "intent".  Duh....get the grades, get the degree, get the job.  Tada!

    Anyway....I think it reads really well.  I would agree and possibly not state what they already know so obviously.  Instead, let them know why you want to be a part of their program and what you hope to gain from the program. 

    You know...AurorasEnvy would be your best person to help you with this and what they are looking for specifically since she is already in the dental field.  I personally would pm aurora and see what she can offer.

    GL and let us know what you find out!

  • Well, if you insist.... =]

    I think that the general outline is good.  I just reworded and expanded on some things.  Depending on how short you wanted to make it, I think geojam has a good suggestion in an extra paragraph explaining why you want to work in the dental field (want to help people, work on a team, etc.) or a dental related personal anecdote might be appropriate.  But like Melissa said, even a well written letter isn't going to trump grades.  Here's what I came up with:

    Dear Admissions (I'll get the person's name),

    My name is Melissa.... and I am writing to express my interest in your Dental Assistant certificate program at Massasoit Community College.

    My immediate goal is to start my career as a dental assistant to learn the dynamics of how a dental office is run, to gain experience working with patients, and to increase my dental IQ.  The hands-on experience I?ll get while working alongside professors with real world experience in your program makes it the best one to prepare me to take the Certified Dental Assistant Exam.  Long term, I'd like to expand my career into the field of dental hygiene.  As such, I am currently taking pre-requisite courses at the Brockton campus working towards acceptance to a dental hygiene program in the future.

    I would greatly appreciate discussing this program and my goals with you over the phone at your convenience.   I can be reached at ***-***-****, and if you prefer email my address is*******@yada.com.

     

    Sincerely,

    Melissa **** 

    photo trex2_zps7ab4e9b0.jpg
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • And this probably goes without saying...but just in case, I'd keep your e-mail address to just your name.  Open a new account if you have to.  Nothing turns me off more to a stack of resumes more than spelling/grammatical errors and e-mail addresses like [email protected]
    photo trex2_zps7ab4e9b0.jpg
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Thank you Sam with your edit! I was going to send you an FB message since I can't seem to find your email.

    In general, I thought I had a good outline/start. I knew something wasn't quite right, but wasn't sure how to fix it. I appreciate your input. Should I put in a short paragraph, as geojam suggested, about why I would like to persue this field? I had to fill out a questionaire yesterday, which went into my file. One of the questions was why I chose this field to go into. I'm not sure, if I already said it there, if it needs repeating? I wrote something along the lines of:

    "I have always been interested in the dental field, and have an awesome hygentist who has inspired me to persue my passion. I love working with people and the satisfaction it gives me knowing I am helping people and making their lives better."

    I don't remember word for word, but that was basically it. Plus I wrote what was short and long term goals were (as stated in the letter). If you deem it acceptable, I can add that paragraph in and add that I like working in a team environment.

    "I love working in a team environment, people, and the satisfaction it gives knowing I am helping people and making their lives better."

    I don't know if I need to repeat myself. And I understand that no awesome letter is going to get me in, but it can't hurt to have a well written letter.

  • I say go ahead and repeat it. Whenever I go into an interview, they always ask me the same questions I already answered in my application and my resume. I don't see any harm in reminding them why you want to be considered. Good luck!
    photo enhanced-buzz-23740-1333550931-30_zpsdc46930f.jpg


      Anniversary
  • image vineyard12:

    Thank you Sam with your edit! I was going to send you an FB message since I can't seem to find your email.

    In general, I thought I had a good outline/start. I knew something wasn't quite right, but wasn't sure how to fix it. I appreciate your input. Should I put in a short paragraph, as geojam suggested, about why I would like to persue this field? I had to fill out a questionaire yesterday, which went into my file. One of the questions was why I chose this field to go into. I'm not sure, if I already said it there, if it needs repeating? I wrote something along the lines of:

    "I have always been interested in the dental field, and have an awesome hygentist who has inspired me to persue my passion. I love working with people and the satisfaction it gives me knowing I am helping people and making their lives better."

    I don't remember word for word, but that was basically it. Plus I wrote what was short and long term goals were (as stated in the letter). If you deem it acceptable, I can add that paragraph in and add that I like working in a team environment.

    "I love working in a team environment, people, and the satisfaction it gives knowing I am helping people and making their lives better."

    I don't know if I need to repeat myself. And I understand that no awesome letter is going to get me in, but it can't hurt to have a well written letter.

    I think it would make the letter overall flow better if you added in a paragraph like this in between the first and second paragraphs. 

    "I have always been interested in the dental field, and have an awesome hygentist who has inspired me to persue my passion. I love working with people and the satisfaction it gives me knowing I am helping people and making their lives better."

    Since we already started the 3rd paragraph with "I learned", I'd try and start the 2nd paragraph with something different than "I".  I'd say something like this:

    The dental field has always intrigued me.  After sharing these feelings with my amazing dental hygienist [this is the correct spelling :] she inspired me to pursue my passion starting with a career as a dental assistant.  After hearing her talk about her job, it solidified my decision to apply for your program because I love working with people and it gives me great satisfaction knowing that I am helping people to make their lives better.

    All I got =] 

    photo trex2_zps7ab4e9b0.jpg
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Thanks again! This conveys what I had been thinking and feeling. The funny thing is I originally went to college as an English major and I feel that over the years I have been away from writing, I have lost some skill.

    I am going to type this up and get it in the mail....

    p.s....sorry for misspelling "hygiene." I knew how to spell it, really :)

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards