Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Re: N

  • The horse is out of the barn -- if he wasn't 100% on the bus with a vasectomy, you and he should have held off on it indefinitely.

    You and he still have differences regarding the size of your family. You do not wish to bear any more kids; he wouldn't mind it if you got pregnant again.

    The 2 of you are also not exactly a couple of carefree millionaires. YOu are wise to want to forgo having a larger family.

    Did he also think over the option of banking his sperm before surgery? Maybe he'd have been all for the surgery had he banked his sperm; that's only my guess.

    I suggest counseling. Do it now before some sort of a blow up and rift occurs in your marriage.  YOu mentioned advanced ages, you're the only breadwinner and you do not wish to have any more kids; how about how you feel about more kids? Didn't he take that into consideration?
  • Late late follow up. I have Stage 3 bilateral breast cancer diagnosed 1 year after this original post. Currently still in treatment and definitely would have been in big trouble had my husband not gone through the vasectomy. I can not have any risk of pregnancy with all that my body has been through and our lives would not be able to support any more children fairly and lovingly. Somehow, God had us endure the process for some reason as cancer was looming in the cards for us. Now, dealing with the tobacco addiction over and over again with all that we are going through....
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Oh no!  I'm so sorry to hear about your medical issues.  I hope you have a speedy and cancer-free recovery.
  • Cancer diagnosis can be incredibly difficult on a relationship. I had stage 2 breast cancer in my early 30's and my marriage did not make it. It is very important to recognize the effects of illness on your marriage and address that fully. Hugs and good luck.
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