Relationships

Friend Question

I have no idea how to start this post. So I'm just going to go ahead and jump into it.

I have this friend, we've been friends for almost 12 years now. We only just recently got in touch again. It's been all fb messages and text messages the last 6 years because I moved. Now, I've come back and we've hung out and all of that and at first it was great. We also work together.

Now, she's always mad at me because I'm mad at her. If that makes any sense? Like I said we work together, she's always everyday late and then leaving early. Something is always coming up. By that I mean boyfriends. And when she's at work she doesn't work she spends the whole time on her phone.

So I've gotten angry at her about it all, because I'm pulling her weight. She knows I get mad. She told our boss that it was "my problem and I have the attitude problem". I have talked to her face to face about why I'm mad. Several times it did not change. So yes I even texted it. It did not change.

This has been going on for several months now. Our boss is angry and annoyed. I'm also annoyed and hurt that she does this. She has also lied to me on several occasions. She's also texted me asking if she can go home, and that she did not want me mad. At the same time she also posted FB status of where she was going with who and all that. But told us at work she was "sick".

Now I haven't really spoken to her in a few days. She's blowing up my phone asking why I'm angry and if I don't want her around anymore. And what my problem is. How do I even reply? Like I said we've been over this several times face to face as well as text. My other friend from college says to cut her out of my life, because this is so re-occurring.  But I feel bad in a way, but not so much in other ways? 

I'm just not sure what to do? Or how to reply? Or what to say to her?  

Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Friend Question

  • Since you are co-workers I would suck it up and act like a good co-worker.  I wouldn't really too much about the friendship part, but since you work together you guys need to at least be polite to each other and stop the drama.

    if you have gone to your boss, and your boss has done nothing about her behavior at work then you have your answer.  Your boss does not care that she comes in late and leaves early, and that you are pulling her extra weight.  At work try to find a way to do less of her work.  If you have not gone to your boss or HR then I would do that now. 

    As far as the friendship goes, I would institute a policy of not being FB friends with co-workers.  Let your friend know that and ask that she contact you over e-mail or text instead of FB.

    As far as the texting goes, I am not sure what to tell you.  Personally i might respond with a "been busy etc" message.   If you've already gotten into it with her 2-3 times then saying anything else won't matter. Just keep your distance and maybe she will get the hint, but don't forget to be polite at work.  Its really hard ending a friendship in an adult civilized way.  I've had to do it a couple of times, but believe me its way worse than the whole crazy blow-up never speak again ways to end a friendship.  And since you are co-workers you really need to be able to maintain some level of a friendliness even if you no longer hang out outside of work. 

  • Look for a new job and when you get it, get out of there and discontinue this "friendship" with this confrontational and childish individual.

    Constantly leaving early and coming in late? Looks like she's also the teacher's pet over there. If I ws in charge, she'd get 3 warnings for that mess and on the fourth, she'd be history.
  • Right off the bat I can advise you to worry about your job and not what she's doing at work. It's not your business to worry about anyone else's business other than yourself. 

     

    Worry about you and what you do at work. Not what she's doing. This is advice given to children. Don't act like one.  

  • The boss knows he's also talked to her several times. No HR we are a small group. It's only 3 of us her, myself and the boss. 

     

    She keeps asking me like I said we've talked it over several times why I'm mad. Not yelling or anything just chatting. About everything, and it doesn't change.I'm just not sure how to answer her  when she keeps blowing up my phone on why I'm not speaking to her as a friend and just what needs to be done at work. I feel like we've talked it death for nothing to change?

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I'm just not sure how to answer her  when she keeps blowing up my phone on why I'm not speaking to her as a friend and just what needs to be done at work. I feel like we've talked it death for nothing to change?

    She's blowing up your phone???

    Then block her, change your number, let her dang important messages go straight to voicemail! Surely those mega-smart phones have a capacity for that type of action, no?

    She can't seem to get the message. Ugh -- either she is immensely, infinitely dumb, she's trying to play you for the fool or this is turning into some kind of stalkerish scenario.

    And I'd hate to see one of these girl vs girl things come between you and your job.  Bickering with a friend has no place in the work environment.

    I suggest you do as I suggested: find another job, resign and then drop this turkey as a "friend" asap.
  • image ROFL ATTACK:

    Right off the bat I can advise you to worry about your job and not what she's doing at work. It's not your business to worry about anyone else's business other than yourself. 

    Worry about you and what you do at work. Not what she's doing. This is advice given to children. Don't act like one.  

    This.  your friend sounds immature, I'll give you that.

     But a lot of this... I'm kind of side-eyeing YOU for being "mad" at her over work stuff and talking to her about it, etc.  And if she calls  YOU to call in/ say she's coming in late, you absolutely need to tell her to call the boss.  not you.

    You're taking this way too personally - and I think that's because of the "friend" aspect of this.  I DO understand why it's personal.  But at the same time- YOU need to do a better job seperating the issues here.

    Focus on doing your job.  She isn't there?  Do as much as you can, but if it doesn't get done, it doens't get done. Let HER answer to your boss about the work. It's not your place to manage this.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards