Relationships

help

so in my past me and my husband have had rough paths we have went through, and it has developed trust issues with him for me. he has got to the point of no makeup when your not with me and sweats and a tshirt...what should i do or how should i handle this situation??

Re: help

  • I'd split because no one tells me what I can and cannot wear. Andplusalso he doesn't trust you worth a damn. Why are you still there?
    TTC # 1 since May 2010
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    Diagnosis: unexplained IF
    4 rounds of 100 mg Clomid = 4 BFNs
    IUI # 1 Oct 24/12: 100 mg Clomid, Prometrium
    First ever BFP Nov 8/12! Stick, baby, stick!


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  • You get a lawyer, start saving money and get ready to leave.  And you don't tell your husband about it.  He sounds like a lunatic.  You don't want to still be there when he realizes you wore make up and jeans to the supermarket and decides to slap it off your face.
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  • I would leave. For starters, without trust in a relationship you have nothing. But more importantly, he is trying to control you, and it is abusive behavior. You need to get your financials in order and get out.
  • so in my past me and my husband have had rough paths we have went through, and it has developed trust issues with him for me. he has got to the point of no makeup when your not with me and sweats and a tshirt...what should i do or how should i handle this situation??

    What this is is abuse.

    Run like hell --- with our without your makeup/sweats.

    We cannot emphasize enough how horrific conrolling behavior is. We also cannot emphasize enough how dangerous his behavior is.

    he also has no damn business dictating what you wear or do not wear.

    Run like hell. I'm serious about that.  This isn't a "trust" issue -- this is abuse.

    And run all the faster --- you have a baby involved.
  • Sometimes my DH will jokingly say "why are you trying to look so cute when you're going out without me?" but your husband just sounds ridiculous. Good luck with that....
  • I am assuming from the verbage you used that you cheated on him, but that you don't want him to leave you for it. Let me know if I am making the wrong assumption. If you DID cheat, and they two of you wish to stay together, then I recommend counseling, STAT. The two of you obviously lack the skills to overcome the rough *patches* that you have encountered in the past. His demands about your physical appearance are a poor manifestation of his fear that you will cheat again. When two people both want to work through infidelity, the chances are good that they can, provided they have professional help.
    If you have not cheated, then he is simply excerting control over you and is displaying abusive characteristics. Exit the relationship as soon as you are safely able to, and get yourself into counseling for some self introspection. People who end up in an abusive relationship often fidn themselves in another. You have some learning to do about healthy standards before you attempt future relationships.
    All the best to you.
    Break cycle BFP on 11/6/12 after 17 cycles and a failed IUI - TTC/BFP details in bio
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