I got married just 2 months ago, and the planning was extremely stressful? I am not usually a stressed kind of person, but because of it all, somehow it caused me to have a grand mal seizure, 5 days before our wedding, in my sleep with my fiance. I did not have health insurance, but we went to the ER after he called 911 and had an ambulance sent. This whole ordeal cost us a great deal of money. Our1st true money matter as a married couple. I have been on medicine since before our wedding and been ok, I guess. The nght before our wedding, we were all hanging out in my husbands room, along with his friends and my sisters, part of our wedding party. We were drinking having a good time and these random girls come to the room outside in the back, on the lawn. I was a little annoyed, and my guy saw that, he didn?t tell them to leave, I got upset, yes I know, over reacted, but it was supposed to be our time sharing with OUR friends and family,not some random girls! Also, it made me wonder if that was the kind of thing that happens on their ?boys nights out?? I mean, he can?t tell some girls to get the heckout? Whatever, I got a little to upset, had been stressingout about everything, then this the night before our wedding. The next day we got married, I apologized for over reacting. We went on our honeymoon had a blast, came home then back to reality.
I don?t know whats going on, but I feel as if I am not enough for him. He plays softball with his friends every week, and I know that he loves that, I try to be supportive. He has these tournaments he plays in sometimes also, or they will go out of town each year for them as well. He doesn?t even acknowledge that I exist when he is with his friends though, or it seems on my side of things. I feel that before we got married, he was my best friend, he would call me 1st to share things with me, whether he was telling me something he was excited about, venting about work, or even something his friend had done, everything. I really thought after getting married this would continue, or even happen more, but now I feel as if I am more of a burden.
Since my seizure, I am unable to drive, I do work, part time as a waitress, but I hate my boss. He is a cruel chinese man who seems to have no heart, but I cannot go looking for anything else, since I am dependent on my rides from my husband or my family? I am in this rut and feel so alone even though I live with my hsuband and have a loving and caring family I could turn to. I feel lost, hopeless, almost like I have no purpose. I do not enjoy doing things with my girl friends when I do have the chance when they are free, I try to make excuses to stay home. I truly hope this down feeling passes, because I used to be such an outgoing, fun loving girl? Now I feel like a total debbie downer?