I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now. We moved in together about 6 months ago and things overall have been pretty great. Before moving in together, I really researched and did some soul-searching to make sure that this was a decision I was ready to make.
The recent problem really revolves around our schedules. I work full time and am a full time students which keeps me out of the house from 9am-9pm. He works a job (that he hates) from around 5pm-11pm all week.
By the time he gets home from work, sleeping is the last thing on his mind while I?m struggling to stay awake. In the past he has tried laying down with me in an effort to fall asleep but because it doesn?t work, he now skips that part and plays video games all night. Half of the time he will crawl into bed a mere hour before my alarm goes off and the other half he is still gaming when I head out the door. This used to bother me a lot more than it does now, because I know during the week we don?t have much time together and cuddling is nice. But, I have come to accept that after working, he?s not ready to go to bed and I might have been a little unreasonable.
Deciding to let the weeknight game playing slide, I began to focus all my energy and date planning for the weekends. That was going fine until his brother,from out of state, began contacting my boyfriend regularly on the weekends to play games. Now, I will say that my boyfriend is amazing and never purposefully neglects me. However, now him and I are in an awkward position: He doesn?t get the chance to play with his brother often but doesn?t want to upset me and I don?t want to intrude on brother bonding but want to spend time with my boyfriend.
When my boyfriend doesn?t play games, his brother will repeatedly text him making complaints about being neglecting until my boyfriend gives in.
I have talked to him in the past about setting up times or even days to game in advance (i.e. deciding on Thursday that they will play on Saturday) so that way I?m not caught off guard when he won?t leave the house but he said that it?s too difficult to do with his brother?s changing schedule. But now it?s affecting our relationship because he will start playing games at 5pm on Saturday until 6am Sunday and then want to sleep the rest of Sunday away or, like yesterday, he won?t go to sleep at all and then sleep through an event we had planned together.
So what?s a girl to do?