I'm having trouble forgiving my "best friend" and maid of honor two months after her dad ruined a pretty important part of our wedding. We had a smallish wedding of 100 guests on quite a tight budget, so our MOH offered to have her dad provide all te sound equipment for the ceremony and reception, am extremely generous offer. He also said not to worry about a DJ as he would handle the music. A note about our wedding: it was rock n roll themed, and my husband and I only skipped a DJ because we wanted complete control over what was played at the wedding, and had been working on a perfect playlist for a year. So we were a little hesitant about handing over such an important job to someone who wasnt a professional but we were assured time and time again, it would be great. The most important part obviously was the ceremony processions. A week before the wedding we spoke to MOH's dad and once were assured everything was set up, he was more than familiar with iTunes, and he would do a run through before the ceremony started. Then a few days before the wedding my husband and I were to go to the MOH's him and rehearse everything, it'd been planned for weeks. That morning I messagesy MOH to let her know we were coming on the 1:00 go train - to which she responded "Oh I never checked with my parents to see if they're okay with you guys coming. I myself am going out at 1:00." We were shocked, I was quite upset but since her dad was proving tons of equipment I didn't want to get into an argument. But going out there again just wasn't possible.
Needless to say the ceremony music was a disaster. Her dad had an extremely clear set of instructions but didn't run through it in three hours he had before the ceremony. He started the wedding party music when the groom and his parents were halfway down the aisle, and just left it playing while the wedding party scrambled to get out before the song finished.
Then it faded out, the doors opened, I stood in the doorway with my dad...and nothing. Silence. Some awkwardly gasps, looks over shoulders...my poor groom staring at me helpless and me stuck in the doorway like an idiot. For I kid you not, four minutes, until the best man walked over to the laptop and clicked on the song.
As soon as we sat down to dinner in the reception the MOH's parents rushed up to say it was our fault because we had the list on a loop, and also he'd never used a laptop like ours (an HP...) so, yah sorry. And my MOH jumped in with "Pft it was fine, don't worry."
Obviously on the day my husband and I smiled and laughed and agreed sure it was no big deal, but what else could we do? Now though, two months later I am still furious. The most important moment of my wedding was ruined, and we never got an explanation as to why he say there for four minutes without playing our song. Nothing was frozen, he just simply...did nothing. He could see me, but he wouldn't make eye contact. He knew I was waiting and just didn't press play.
So I know I'm supposed to forgive her but she constantly reminds me of what an awesome MOH she was (that was her only job, btw) and an amazing best friend she is, and all I can think of is "You blew me off to hang out with your ex instead of rehearsing the most important moment of my wedding, which was then ruined, and then let ME get blamed for it! Never once saying Omg I feel awful." I'm not sayi g she has to apologize, but some recognition that it went poorly and maybe she shouldn't have ditched me would be nice. Maybe time will heal it, but I just can't let it go.