Married Life

Do you still celebrate your dating anniversary when married?

We just got married November 3rd. We chose November because this is "our" month. The month we first met (today November 15th, 2007). I want to still celebrate this anniversary as well as our wedding anniversary, but DH says that we only count the one. Do most couples celebrate both or just the marriage anniversary?

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Re: Do you still celebrate your dating anniversary when married?

  • I got married on our 4 year dating anniversary, so I technically only have one anniversary, but I like to celebrate both. On our one year wedding anniversary we will be celebrating 1 year of marriage as well as 5 years together. I think it's important to celebrate how long you've been together, not just how long you've been married, because some couples wait until 10 years of dating to get married and some wait less than 6 months. I don't think it truly represents who you are as a couple without recognizing the total number of years as well. :)

    Having said that, I get where your DH is coming from. You shouldn't have to do two separate celebrations, each with gifts/vacations/fancy dinners. Choose one to go all out on, and do something more low-key for the other. Or celebrate both at the same time, since both are in November. 


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  • No, we only celebrate our wedding anniversary.
  • Our official dating anniversary is 2 days after my B-day so we used to celebrate every year now I doubt we will do anything crazy.

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  • I got married on my 5th dating anniversary....almost to the hour!  So I guess we kinda celebrate both but if it had been a different day we would probably mention it but not make a big deal about it.
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  • We started dating on Cinco De Mayo, which is an awesome excuse to go out to dinner for delicious Mexican food (like on our first date lol). So, yes, we do still celebrate our dating anniversary, in addition to our Sept. wedding anniversary. I like having both, and I like that they're kind of far apart, so it's almost like every 6 months or so we have a nice reason to celebrate. :)

    I like what one PP said, that it's nice to also acknowledge the amount of time you've been together. We've been together for 8 years but only married for 1. 

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  • I remember our dating anniversary, but we dont' celebrate it. 

    What exactly is it that you want to do to celebrate?  Are you talking a fancy dinner out for both, including gifts, or is it just that you want to do something a little nice (like steaks on the grill instead of hamburger) for your dating just to not forget it? 

    If it's 2 fancy dinners - I can see why your DH doesn't want to do it.  but if you just want a little "something" special for the dating but want to do it bigger for your wedding - I can more understand where you'er coming from.

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  • I still don't even really understand the concept of a "dating anniversy"...is that the day you met? the day you had a talk about being in a monogomous relationship? the day you first sleep with the guy?  What? I couldn't even tell you when we started dating because we started as friends and then became more then that over time and with the exeption of friends who got married way young...most of my married friends say similar things about thier relationships...that they developed over time and that theres not one day that they sat down and said "ok today is the first day of official dating" it seems kind of highschool to me to keep track of of that tbh.

  • DH and I got married December 3, 2011 and our dating anniversary is January 17th and on that day all we say is "Hey do you know what today is?" and we just hug and kiss, I now think that December 3rd will be the important one, just IMO.
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  • I haven't the slightest idea when I met my husband or when we started dating.  This stuff just isn't important to me.
  • DH and I have been dating for 11 years in December. We know the exact date because he asked me to be with him exclusively on that day. We are always going to celebrate the anniversary of how long we have been dating, but not in such a big way as wedding anniversary.
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  • image toothpastechica:

    I still don't even really understand the concept of a "dating anniversy"...is that the day you met? the day you had a talk about being in a monogomous relationship? the day you first sleep with the guy?  What? I couldn't even tell you when we started dating because we started as friends and then became more then that over time and with the exeption of friends who got married way young...most of my married friends say similar things about thier relationships...that they developed over time and that theres not one day that they sat down and said "ok today is the first day of official dating" it seems kind of highschool to me to keep track of of that tbh.

    I think for every couple it's different.  For H and I, our dating anniversary is the day of our first date. 

    Our dating anniversary was actually yesterday, and just for fun, we went to the same restaurant that we went to on our first date.  We didn't make a big production out of it or anything, but we thought it would be fun to go back to the place where it all started. 

    We've only been married since June, so we haven't had our first wedding anniversary yet, so I don't know if we'll continue to celebrate both or not!  I don't see any harm in it...it's just one more day to set aside special time with your husband :)

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  • image EastCoastBride:

    I remember our dating anniversary, but we dont' celebrate it. 

    What exactly is it that you want to do to celebrate?  Are you talking a fancy dinner out for both, including gifts, or is it just that you want to do something a little nice (like steaks on the grill instead of hamburger) for your dating just to not forget it? 

    If it's 2 fancy dinners - I can see why your DH doesn't want to do it.  but if you just want a little "something" special for the dating but want to do it bigger for your wedding - I can more understand where you'er coming from.

     

     Yeah I dont want to go all out on both I just want to do something special. :) 

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  • image toothpastechica:

    I still don't even really understand the concept of a "dating anniversy"...is that the day you met? the day you had a talk about being in a monogomous relationship? the day you first sleep with the guy?  What? I couldn't even tell you when we started dating because we started as friends and then became more then that over time and with the exeption of friends who got married way young...most of my married friends say similar things about thier relationships...that they developed over time and that theres not one day that they sat down and said "ok today is the first day of official dating" it seems kind of highschool to me to keep track of of that tbh.

     

    Well its the day we met. We met at a concert and we have been together since. I know is sounds bad but he came home with me and my friends that night, then the next night we went on our first date and then so on. We have always called it our anniversary for the past 4 years.

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  • image toothpastechica:

    I still don't even really understand the concept of a "dating anniversy"...is that the day you met? the day you had a talk about being in a monogomous relationship? the day you first sleep with the guy?  What? I couldn't even tell you when we started dating because we started as friends and then became more then that over time and with the exeption of friends who got married way young...most of my married friends say similar things about thier relationships...that they developed over time and that theres not one day that they sat down and said "ok today is the first day of official dating" it seems kind of highschool to me to keep track of of that tbh.

     

    Well its the day we met. We met at a concert and we have been together since. I know is sounds bad but he came home with me and my friends that night, then the next night we went on our first date and then so on. We have always called it our anniversary for the past 4 years.

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  • That's so cute! That's what I mean by celebrating! I don't want to do anything big! Some people ( not that there is anything wrong with it) get married after being together for 3 weeks, not 5 years like we did and I just want to recognize that. :)

     

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  • We only celebrate wedding anniversary.
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  • H and I became exclusive on January 11 and we got married on June 11, so we celebrate both. We figure that it gives us one winter and one summer excuse to do something special to appreciate how far we've come since we started dating.

     Call us cheesy or lame or whatever you want, but it works for us.

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  • No, we just celebrate our wedding anniversary. We just kind of bunch them together and reminisce about the wedding and how we first met all on the same day..since they kinda go together.

     

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  • Just the marriage.  I'm not sure we even have a dating anniversary. I have a vague recollection of the month in which we first boned but that's about it...
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  • Absolutely yes! We're going on 16 years of love story and will happily continue to celebrate the day we fell in love at first sight. 

    ETA - we got married on our day but in a different month so we now celebrate twice in a year.   


    Beanerina98
  • image toothpastechica:

    I still don't even really understand the concept of a "dating anniversy"...is that the day you met? the day you had a talk about being in a monogomous relationship? the day you first sleep with the guy?  What? I couldn't even tell you when we started dating because we started as friends and then became more then that over time and with the exception of friends who got married way young...most of my married friends say similar things about their relationships...that they developed over time and that there's not one day that they sat down and said "ok today is the first day of official dating" it seems kind of high school to me to keep track of of that tbh.

    I met my H one month before our first date. We have an official first date: 09.15.07 which is our dating anniversary. It's not 'high school' to keep track of that. Stick out tongue

    OP: we don't celebrate our dating anniversary or the day we got engaged, just our wedding anniversary. 

  • image toothpastechica:

    I still don't even really understand the concept of a "dating anniversy"...is that the day you met? the day you had a talk about being in a monogomous relationship? the day you first sleep with the guy?  What? I couldn't even tell you when we started dating because we started as friends and then became more then that over time and with the exeption of friends who got married way young...most of my married friends say similar things about thier relationships...that they developed over time and that theres not one day that they sat down and said "ok today is the first day of official dating" it seems kind of highschool to me to keep track of of that tbh.

    Meh, to each his own.

    H and I did actually have that kind of talk. We started out long distance, and we had to decide if our feelings for each other were worth dealing with the amount of work it would take to move forward in an actual relationship.

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  • Oh yes! We find it's a very important day in our lives. Without a first date our marriage wouldn't have happened Smile But we are sentimental that way.

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  • We do a little something for the anniversary of our first official date, usually just go out to dinner or get a bottle of wine and cook at home if we don't have a sitter. There were lots of little things that happened early on in our relationship that I look back fondly on. The places he took me because he knew I'd like them, the little notes he would pack in my work stuff, all the things that new relationships are made of. I think I'd be sad to not remember how we became to be officially dating. Relationships don't begin at marriage so why not celebrate how you got there if you want. I would never do anything excessive for it, but it's not an immature thing to recognize. 
  • We remember it and, if we get the chance, we might do something small (like a bottle of wine or ordering in dinner). Occasionally one of us might get the other one a card or something. We like acknowledging the time we've been together, but we don't go crazy. 

    Personally, with all the stress and whatnot in the world, I like seizing every opportunity to be a little happier, a little more appreciative, and a little more special. It costs nothing to recognize the day and I fail to see what it could hurt.  

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  • We 'celebrate' lots of anniversarys.  We have an 'unofficial' dating anniversary (that's the night we got drunk and hooked up.. which you might guess seriously changed our friendship).  We also have an 'official' dating anniversary (which is the day we decided to stop trying to pretend we were still "just friends").  I didn't necessarily take note of the dates themselves at the time; but a month or so in we went back and figured them out - they were pretty easy to recall because of the proximity to the super bowl and spring break

    H happened to propose on the same date (diff month) as our official dating anniversary; so we planned our wedding for that date as well (not in an "OMG I have to get married on my anniversary date" way - just "hey that'd be neat" and it worked out...).  So basically on the 23rd of every month for the last 5.5 years we have said "happy anniversary".  He's honestly better about remembering it than I am; I think it's sweet.  We have still gone out on our dating anniversary; just a nice dinner - no cards or gifts.  Though, actually, we did the same thing for our first wedding anniversary....  we went on vacation a few weeks later and counted that as our gift to each other; so we didn't actually exchange anything.

     I think it's fine to still acknowledge the day it all began.  I can see why he'd be hesitant if you were looking to do something extravagant, but just to say happy anniversary and spend some time together I don't think is asking too much.

  • image JessicaK12:

    That's so cute! That's what I mean by celebrating! I don't want to do anything big! Some people ( not that there is anything wrong with it) get married after being together for 3 weeks, not 5 years like we did and I just want to recognize that. :)

     

    My husband and I had been together for close to ten years when we finally married.  We haven't a clue when we met (it was freshman year of college at some point) or when we first started dating (again, college was a fuzzy time).  I don't feel the need to celebrate our togetherness more. 

    I'm honestly surprised how many people are saying "This is when we decided to be exclusive" or "We went on out first date at this time!"  Hahaha - I guess I live in a totally different world.  We hung out together, did things, hooked up, hung out, watched movies, etc...  I wouldn't call any of those dates and we never had the "Okay, we're exclusive today!" conversation.  It just grew and we built a damn good relationship out of it.

    It definitely feels a little high school - to me - to recognize dating anniversaries and stuff, but our relationship doesn't really have any of those milestones remembered.  I might feel differently if it did.

  • I know our "dating anniversary"...it's relevant less because it was our first date and more because it's the night DH and I first met in person (a mutual friend had put us in touch and we emailed and talked on the phone for several months before deciding to actually meet).  But some years I don't remember it until it's come and gone, and the most I'll do is joke that now we've gone X years and still haven't killed each other.  We certainly don't exchange gifts, go out to dinner, or do anything to celebrate.
  • We would rather just celebrate the one

    But if you want to celebrate both then why not compromise. Example for the dating one you could do a simple card with a thoughtful note. And the bigger plans could be saved for a marriage anniversary? But if he still doesn't want to then drop it and celebrate just one

     

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