Relationships

Quit school for full time job?

Hey everyone.

I'm recently married, 3 months. Anyways I got married pretty young I guess, I'm 21 and I'm still in college, I'm a Junior and getting into the nursing program. Anyways when we got engaged my husband had a great job making $3,000 a month and we decided to get married because everything was working out and it seemed like the right time. Well a few months before our wedding he lost his job due to layoffs and he had to get a new job where he only makes half what he used to make. It was too late to cancel the expensive honeymoon or return the nice rings, which now I wish we would have done more modestly.

I'm in the nurses aide program because in my school you need it before becoming a nurse. We are struggling with bills and living with his mom which I hate so much. She's a mean woman, not to me personally but sometimes. she's mean in general and over bearing. I was thinking about taking time off of school to work so we can have a savings again and move out. But my husband is upset and doesn't think it's a good idea. He feels like a failure because he "can't provide" and he doesn't want me to leave school because he knows how important it is to me but honestly I will go back when the time is right I just don't feel like it's now. Thoughts?

Re: Quit school for full time job?

  • I would not quit school.  Keep going.  You can still get a job.  And your DH can pick up a side job.  I worked two jobs all through college and grad school. It's annoying but doable.  Do it while you're young because it's really, really hard to go back later.
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  • Ditto what PP said. Don't quit school. Could you cut back on classes to work part-time? I'm sure getting out of your MIL's house seems like the most important thing right now, but finishing school trumps that by a long shot. Do whatever you can to stay in school AND help your H save up to get your own place.

    I also want to mention where you said your H feels like a failure because he can't provide for the two of you. (My H went through this last year, he was also laid off from a nice paying job and had to settle for something that made a LOT less.) He is not a failure. There is still a roof over your head, and food in your belly, and clothes on your back. Besides that, when the two of you got married, you said you would be there for better or worse as PARTNERS; so he shouldn't feel ashamed of having to ask you for help. You are both equal parts of the family. Talk to him and make sure he knows that you still love and appreciate everything he does for the two of you. Make sure he knows that you don't think any less of him for losing his job, especially since he had no control over it. GL

  • I would at the very least complete the nurses aide program and get your certification. It doesn't take more than a year to complete depending on if you want to long term care or short term care then if you still want to work, find a job as a nurses aide. Some places will pay for you to complete lpn/rn training. If your lucky you can find such a place.

    Reassure your husband that you love him and work towards getting out of your MILs house. Newly weds need to live on their own even if its a studio apartment.

    Good luck with everything!

  • A $3,000 a month job is not a great job. It's pretty good for a 21 year old but a "Great" job where you can support 2 people? You'll be hard pressed to do that, on 36K a year, before taxes, even if he kept his job.

    And if a kiddo got into the mix --- this is now a 28 grand a year job, after taxes --- how do you support 3 people on 28 grand, even with the less expensive cost of living down South?

    How do you save for your futures -- and how do you put money into a savings account for your child's future college education, on that salary after taxes?

    (if anything, you both needed to wait at least a few years before you got married; horse out of the barn, yeah --- but that is what you should have done. From an economical standpoint and a maturity standpoint, that's what was needed)

    You do NOT need to be a nurse's aid before you become a nurse. Take it from me; I was in the allied health care field for a good chunk of time; I left for another field where there was more money, as did many I worked with. 

    And the horse is out of the barn, too, on this one: don't buy anything you cannot afford and don't go into hock for one day. Sure, the wedding could have been cancelled and a much smaller affair held -- or you could have postponed the wedding for another year or so. It could have waited.

    Hospitals in my area are not hiring American trained nurses. Blame this on the fact that hospitals visa in nurses from the Philipines and other countries --- they sponsor these nurses (and other allied health care workers) and get an incentive for it.

    This is a practice that has been done for years.

    I don't know how it is in your area but that's what's happening here: there are nearly no nursing jobs -- and if there are any, they are per diem or on a shift like the overnight shift or evening shift. 7-3pm jobs rarely go to a brand new green nuirse.

    AND it needs TO END. We have many American trained nurses, med techs, radiological techs, pharmacists, you name it --- hire our own and send back all the H1Bs.

    What else I suggest:

    you and he need to collaborate on spending and saving money. A dime says that you did not do this before your marriage, judging from the fact you planned a wedding that became unaffordable and bought rings that are beyond your means.

    Money is one of the big blockbusters; it's a very hot topic with couples and one of the biggies; sex and religion are the other 2.

    Save your money scrupulously and when you get enough money to move out do it.
  • I woudln't quit school, but I would go talk to the program or admissions to see what your options on going to part time are and then finding a part time or full time job on top of it. Yeah its going to hard, and yeah its going to be LONG LONG days (school and work), but honestly to me that sounds like your best option. Theres no garuntee your H is going to find work soon (I was unemployed for 5 months before I got the job I have, which is still not as well paying or as many hours as I had hoped for), and getting a job at the grocery store is probably not going to pay you enough for both of you to move out on your own anyways.
  • can you arrange your school schedule so that you can work full time AND  go to school full time? I completed my undergraduate degree while I was working 30 hours a week, and my graduate degree when I was working 40+ hours a week. It sucked but my husband was extremely supportive - we married when I was halfway done with my graduate degree, and picked up more than his share of the household chores and also picked up side work so we could pay cash for our wedding. Granted this was back when the economy was better but sometimes you have to sacrifice for the short term.
  • Don't quit school!  Check if your financial aid status can be reevaluated now that you are married.  See if you qualify for more loans.  Get a job you can work while going to school. It sounds like you are over half done, and nurses make good money (if you were majoring in art history, I might say something different).  Don't throw away what you've already accomplished!  
  • I would exhaust all other options before quitting school. You are young and have plenty of time to save money. Nursing school is big commitment, but it has a wonderful pay out. I quit my job when I started nursing school and we lived off my DH's pay. We had to do major cut backs, but it was all worth it in the end.

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  • I guess it just depends on what you consider to be a "need" vs. want, because my H makes around 36k before taxes, and if he needed to support my dd and I on that it could certainly be done. And we live in the downtown area of a largr city with a high cost of living. Obviously things are much more comfortable with me working too, but we'd be just fine without it. I wouldn't quit school. If you have any loans they will come due. And it would be so.much harder to get back into it. Can you work at all on the weekends? I'm in school full time for tbe healthcare field and I work 30 hrs a week. It helps a lot.
  • I disagree with everyone.

    If you're struggling to pay your bills and living with your MIL out of necessity, then a FT job takes priority over school. Sorry, but it does. It has to - bills don't pay themselves, and the suggestion to take out extra loans to pay your living expenses is ridiculous and irresponsible. Believe me, it's going to suck bad enough paying your current student loans 10 years from now - student loans aren't free money, and paying off loans (with interest!) that you took out to pay for groceries 10 years ago is going to suck even more.

    Does your program require that you go FT, or could you drop to PT for a little while? Is it possible to take a semester or two off without being kicked out of the program? I would make getting a job my #1 goal, followed by getting the hell out of your MIL's house. 

    I worked 30 hours/week through most of my undergrad, and worked FT during my Masters program. My husband went to undergrad PT while working FT and also worked FT in grad school. Sure, it's hard.....but it's easier than playing house under your MIL's roof. 

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  • It doesn't have to be an either/or.

    I work full time while going to school full time. I take all of my classes online through a local college, and I found a program where I can actually graduate without taking a single class on campus. Is it stressful? Absolutely. Do I wish I could quit my job and only do school? No question. But H and I clearly can't afford that right now so I'm trudging through with my end goal in mind. Many schools also offer night class options if online learning doesn't work for you.

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  • eeey, I worked a 40-45 hour a week job PLUS went to college full time for my bachelors. It can be done but there will be some sacrifices that have to be made.

    GL 

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