Married Life

What do you call your inlaws?

After having lunch with my MIL and SIL today it got me thinking... what do you call your inlaws?[Poll]

Re: What do you call your inlaws?

  • I've called them by their first names ever since we met. Of course, I worked with H's dad before we even started dating, so obviously I used his name since we were coworkers. And his 'mom' is actually his stepmom so he calls her by her first name and I guess that's why I started calling her by her first name.
  • I didn't respond. My ILs are divorced. My MIL is a teacher at a private school where the students call teachers by their first name, so she has always signed cards to me "Love, FirstName" - I don't know if she's signed anything to me "Mom", but if it's to DH and I, then she uses 'Mom'. When I talk to her, I sometimes say her first name, and sometimes call her 'Mom' mainly because I know it makes her happy.

    FIL, on the other hand, doesn't get called anything. I don't like him, and we don't talk to him often (he lives out of state) but when I DO talk to him I just start the conversation "Hey - How are you?!" etc. Whenever we send gifts/cards, I label them "Dad" (well, on the inside of the card... on the outside is FirstName LastName address, of course). 
  • I call them by their first names when speaking to them or about them. But when it's just me and DH, I call them mom and dad.
  • I call them by their names and it will probably stay that way. I could NEVER refer to my FIL as "Dad" I don't like him enough to grant him with that title. My MIL is wonderful but if you call one Mom you feel obligated to call the other Dad.
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  • I call them by their names, actually so does my DH!

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  • I call MIL by her name, and dont have FIL
  • I don't have a FIL and don't really "click" with my MIL. I just call her by her name. I've only referred to her as "mom" one time. We were doing the receiving line at our wedding and when she got to us, it just felt necessary to call her "mom" and she was really happy. But I did it just to be polite and honor the moment. I doubt I'll ever call her mom again. 
  • I have great in-laws, and although they have told me I can call them  "mom" and "dad," that feels weird to me since I do have my own parents. They also said I could call them by their first names, but  I feel it is more respectable to call them Mr. and Mrs (Surname). But  I do always wonder if they find it offensive? 

     Does anyone else have this issue or any suggestions?

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  • I call them by their first names. I adore them, but they are not my parents.
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  • I guess I'm kind of surprised by the answers here, I mean my mom always called her in laws (my "step" grandparents) mom and dad. So I kind of assumed that's the "proper" thing to do. After H and I got engaged his mom told me to start calling her mom, although at first I felt weird calling her that and still sometimes feel weird calling her that. I do call her mom usually but sometimes I still refer to her by her name, both to her and when just talking about her, same goes with my FIL. Neither of them care if we (as in us DIL's) call them mom/dad or their names.

     

  • I call them by their first names. :)
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  • SS - I went out of my way for the first 10 years to call them nothing.  I just avoided having to use their names.  I didn't feel right about "Mom" and "Dad" and just their FNs felt weird too.

    Now that we have a kid I just call them Grammy and Grampy all the time.

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  • I call my inlaws mom and dad - they told me I could a year or so after dating H. It took me a little longer to warm up to it because I still have my parents and it's just weird to call someone else mom and dad. I do it without thinking now. They're very sweet people and I know it makes them feel good. My parents aren't offended by me calling someone else mom and dad either. 
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  • H and I have been married 1 year as of Monday Oct. 8th. :-)

    I just recently started integrating their first names into my speech. It just comes out, I dont actively think about it. I have been calling them by their surnames for so long its hard not to but I am beginning to like their first names better.

    When I talk about them with my husband I sometimes call them mom and dad but again that is because that is what he is calling them in our conversation. I am huge on etiquette but after a while the Mr. and Mrs. Surname gets to be too much.


  •  

    @ Kimbus 22. Too funny!  Because I wonder if I offend my in-laws by calling them Mr. and Mrs, I usually try to avoid having to refer to them by anything too. But, I  will resort to Mr. and Mrs if I have no choice. I am glad to know I am not the only one. Guess I need to have a kid so I have something more comfortable to call them like Grampy and Grammy. :-)

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  • I don't have in-laws. My MIL passed about 6 months after I married her son. DH has no contact with his biological father. In conversation I've always referred to his mother as "your mom/mother".

    My parents on the other hand... they are the couple of a thousand names! LOL It all depends on who is referring to them.

    My DH calls them by their first names.

    My SIL calls my mom by her first name/ Momma (Last name)/ Granny.  My father is either Dad/ first name/ Poppa/ Poppa (first name)/ Henry (my name for him, not his real first name. He answers though. LOL). 

    I had one friend that called my parents "Mummy/ Duddy".

  • image The Not So New Newlywed:


     

    @ Kimbus 22. Too funny!  Because I wonder if I offend my in-laws by calling them Mr. and Mrs, I usually try to avoid having to refer to them by anything too. But, I  will resort to Mr. and Mrs if I have no choice. I am glad to know I am not the only one. Guess I need to have a kid so I have something more comfortable to call them like Grampy and Grammy. :-)

    Yeah I just couldn't get comfortable with anything.  Which is weird because I love my ILs. It doesn't help that my MIL and I have the same first name.  Which weirds me out as it is. Having a kid makes it SOOO much easier.  The avoidance is tough to keep up for a decade.

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  • image The Not So New Newlywed:


     

    @ Kimbus 22. Too funny!  Because I wonder if I offend my in-laws by calling them Mr. and Mrs, I usually try to avoid having to refer to them by anything too. But, I  will resort to Mr. and Mrs if I have no choice. I am glad to know I am not the only one. Guess I need to have a kid so I have something more comfortable to call them like Grampy and Grammy. :-)

    Argh duplicate post stupid computer sucks today.

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  • image Kimbus22:

    SS - I went out of my way for the first 10 years to call them nothing.  I just avoided having to use their names.  I didn't feel right about "Mom" and "Dad" and just their FNs felt weird too.

    Now that we have a kid I just call them Grammy and Grampy all the time.

    That's exactly what I do. I feel like its disrespectful to call them by their names (IMO because of the way I was raised), and it still feels weird to call them "mom" or "dad". I may call them that when we have kids, or do what you did and call them grandma and grandpa.


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  • image PixieChinchilla:
    I call them by their first names. I adore them, but they are not my parents.

     This. I think they would like it if I called them mom & dad, but they'd never ask me to call them that and they're not offended that I don't. 

  • I didn't respond, because I avoid it lol I don't know what to call them! They signed my birthday card "mom & dad" last month, but no way I am calling them that. They are fabulous and I'm blessed to have them, but they are not my parents. I would honestly feel almost like I was betraying my own parents if I did that...silly, I know!

    When I talk about them, they are still known as "Seean's mom and dad". I don't think I've ever used a name for them when talking to them! haha I'm sure it will come up someday...and I will more than likely call them by their first names.

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  • I alternate between calling MIL by her first name and mom or momma. I know she likes when I call her mom or momma. I kind of avoid calling FIL anything because I don't feel comfortable calling him by his first name or Dad, but Mr. ____ sounds too formal. So I sometimes playfully call him pop-in-law.
  • image Kimbus22:

    SS - I went out of my way for the first 10 years to call them nothing.  I just avoided having to use their names.  I didn't feel right about "Mom" and "Dad" and just their FNs felt weird too.

    Now that we have a kid I just call them Grammy and Grampy all the time.

    The first part of this is basically what I do. I don't have kids yet so I can't do the second part. I think I'll start calling them by what my DH calls them.
  • I used their surnames from day 1 because it was how I was raised (and DH met my parents first and that was how he addressed my parents so it set the tone). The week of the wedding (2 weeks ago) MIL said I needed to start calling her by her first name. I'm just not quite comfortable with it though. I asked DH about it and he said he was still going to use Mr. and Mrs. for my parents (they wouldn't care either way but haven't insisted on using first names either) so I think I may go on using surnames.  The day after the wedding ILs drove us to the airport for our HM.  I got around calling MIL "Mrs. M..." and said "I can say that because we are both Mrs. M.....now."  It is just hard for me to call anyones parent by their first name.  My best friend's mom since I was 6 years old is still Mrs. S...
  • image alynne1113:
    Crazy & Crazier.

     

    This, only not as nicely.

  • My FIL is one of the best people I have ever met.. Once we got married he got promoted to Dad. When I do slip and call him by his first name he teases me about it :)

     

    My MIL is another story... she will always be a first name.  

  • I couldn't vote because my option is not there. I just say hi or by when talking to them. I have always felt weird with calling them any of the above. So in conversation, I just say hi how are you...blah blah.

     On the other hand, my sister-in-law called my parents Mr. & Mrs for the longest time-even 3 years after they were married.They now have kids and she calls my mother grandma. My mom hated Mrs.

  • When I'm talking with them there mama and daddy. When we were still dating I called them by there first names. but after a year or so, and they helped me recover from a major surgery it just felt right. I could never call her 'mom' tho, mine passed away 8 years ago and that just hits to close to 'replacing her' and a few of my close friends' moms have always been mama 'name' mama 'lastname'.

    As for 'daddy', it's just something his mom got me started on, they have fur-babies and when she talks to there pug she's tells him 'aw, don't worry buddy, daddy will be right back' and it just kind of stuck i think it makes him happy tho they've told me I'm the daughter they never had. so it makes them feel more like were family. 

    Although it does cause some confusion around the house with DH, I think he forgets I was the baby at home, and still sometimes call my dad that when I'm on the phone with him (we're very close I call him everyday/ text him though out) but he has to ask which mine or his.

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  • I call my MIL and her H by their first names when I am refering to them to others, but when I am talking with them it is mom and dad. My dad died several years ago and I am not ready to replace him. So my FIL is first name even tho i have slipped once in a while and called him dad.
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