Relationships

family

How Do I Get My Family To Understand That I Am Happy With My Futur Husband?

Re: family

  • By telling them about all the wonderful happy things you do together, and by cutting them off any time they attempt to badmouth him.

    This is all assuming he actually is a good man and your family has no reason to distrust/dislike him.

    Break cycle BFP on 11/6/12 after 17 cycles and a failed IUI - TTC/BFP details in bio
    image
    Nestie Bestie with the lovely RockABye
    image image image
  • Also - creating a screen name using your real name is frowned upon. There is a lot of the crazy running about these boards and some anonymity is usually a good thing.
    Break cycle BFP on 11/6/12 after 17 cycles and a failed IUI - TTC/BFP details in bio
    image
    Nestie Bestie with the lovely RockABye
    image image image
  • So you finally realized the Knot isn't going to validate your insistence that you're 18 and in LUUURVE and work for a lawyer in spite of your terrible typing and lack of any sort of education? And now you're here? Charming.

    Backstory, if anyone's interested: http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-54 

  • Oh boy!  OP - I read the knot discussion and I agree with PP, you aren't going to get the answers you're looking for here.

    Listen, I'm so sorry that you have been in abusive relationships in the past.  But don't let that delude you into thinking that this guy is the guy for the long haul.  At 18 and only knowing this guy 5-6 months, you're just wrong.  I hate to say it, but it's true.  Marriage is a forever commitment.  The first couple months/year of a relationship is the puppy-dog phase, you're infatuated, can't stand to be apart, etc.  But that wears off quick.  I doubt you want to be 18/19 years old with 4 past partners who were abusive AND and ex-husband.

    I would really love to know your parents line of thinking in all this.  I would also like to know how old this guy is because that was never addressed over on the knot as far as I can tell.  Chances are, you parents are right.  Maybe it's not the guy that's their issue... perhaps it's simply the momentum of the relationship.

    I'd really take the time to slow down, enjoy being BF/GF, assess the relationship as you go, ENROLL BACK IN SCHOOL and re-address the topic of marriage in a good 5 years or so. That's the mature and adult thing to do. Rushing into something you are so clearly not prepared for is infantile; vying to achieve adulthood through marriage does not make you more mature, it's actually a demonstration of a complete lack of responsibility.

    If my memory is correct, you scheduled the wedding for a few years from now?  If so, fingers crossed you come to your senses at some point.  Really, I'm sorry, I don't want to be a jerk but if you go ahead and get married any time soon (and heaven forbid you have a baby) this does not end well for you.

     

  • We need more information. Is there a reason they do not like him? Is it valid? If it is not then you have to talk to them one on one, but if he did something like cheated on you, treated you bad, etc then your future husband has to suck it up and try to make amends...which will take time. They are your family and love you too.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker LilySlim Weight loss tickers
  • image amber mcpherson:
    How Do I Get My Family To Understand That I Am Happy With My Futur Husband?

    Well, it depends. Your family doesn't sound supportive of your choice to get engaged at 18 years old, and you have a recent history of being in abusive relationships. They probably, like most parents, want you to finish school, live on your own (not with your grandparents), grow as a person, have some adventures and gain some life experiences before settling down with someone. You are only 18 years old, why the rush to get engaged? So from what you wrote in your other post, I can easily imagine why they are not supportive of your choice to do this.

    Since you have chosen to get engaged at 18 though, it's probably too late for anything they say to really change your mind. Tell them that you are engaged and have planned the wedding for a few years down the road and that you hope that you'll have their support when the time comes. Then go on with your life.

  • image JemmaWRX:

    I'd really take the time to slow down, enjoy being BF/GF, assess the relationship as you go, ENROLL BACK IN SCHOOL and re-address the topic of marriage in a good 5 years or so. That's the mature and adult thing to do. Rushing into something you are so clearly not prepared for is infantile; vying to achieve adulthood through marriage does not make you more mature, it's actually a demonstration of a complete lack of responsibility.


     

     

    And as I said on one of the other posts: you can still go back to school regardless of where you work, how early you have to get up, any of that. I not only went to college full time, I ran a business. One that I had to live on site at for security at night so I was basically working 24/7. I still found time to not only go to school, but to thrive in my classes. I found time to volunteer and beef up my experiences and my resume. I was in an abusive relationship. I bounced around relationships for a little while, always thinking- I've found the one! Once I was able to be totally on my own, I finally grew the f* up and started doing for myself.

    You have a "poor me" complex that life has been hard and we should all just agree with you.  Well tough luck sister. You want your family to like your fiance? Show them you are mature and responsible enough to do what you need to do for yourself. If after that time you still have this FI standing by you, supporting you and pushing you to do better, I wouldn't be surprised to see them start to have a change of heart.

     

    And for the love of God, do not have a child any time soon. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • image iverske9:
    We need more information. Is there a reason they do not like him? Is it valid?

    This. 

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Show them you are mature and responsible enough to do what you need to do for yourself.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards