Relationships

bad behavior :/

So my boyfriend/fiance of 2 1/2 years still seems to save pictures of forwards on his phone of girls boobs, i told him i dont like it and he says he will stop but he hasnt yet. He also smokes cigars and i have mentioned that i dont like it and he said he never did it again but i found one in his truck today and i dont know what to do?? :/

Re: bad behavior :/

  • Who knows where the photos are from.

    They could have been downloaded from the web.

    Then again, maybe some chick sent them to him.

    Your problem:

    You have expressed dislike about what he sports on his phone and what he smokes.  He is still sporting the boobs and he is still smoking cigars. Pretty much this guy is disregarding your concerns.

    Do you need a guy like this?

    I think not.

    He's a bit too juvenile for you; you also don't need a smoker.

    Be a bit more picky. Find a great non cigar smoking guy who does not resort to storing a motherloade of mammaries on his phone --- and make sure that guy listens to your concerns and doesn't have it go into one ear and out the other like your current bf.

  • It's one thing if some friend were sending him these pictures and was being a jerk and won't stop.  but if your BF is actively finding these pictures himself and downloading them.... the fact that he won't stop isn't even the issue to me.  It's the fact that he does it in the first place!   I find it really skeevy.

    And if you don't want to be with a cigar smoker, then break up with him.

    THIS is who he is.  He's showing you loud and clear.  If you don't like it, then don't marry him.  It really is that simple.

    You shouldn't go into a relaitonship looking to change a person.  Instead, focus on FINDING a person who doesn't do this stuff in the first place.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • The obvious answer here is to find a nonsmoking, nonobjectifying guy.  Sure, you could labor and stress over how to turn this sow's ear into a silk purse, but with literally billions of men in the world and a severely limited lifespan, why bother?
    image
  • image ReturnOfKuus:
    The obvious answer here is to find a nonsmoking, nonobjectifying guy.  Sure, you could labor and stress over how to turn this sow's ear into a silk purse, but with literally billions of men in the world and a severely limited lifespan, why bother?

    This. You are not married, and it doesnt sound like this is something he just started doing, so that is who he is, take it and shut up about it because theres no amount of nagging that will make him change, or move on (which sounds like the better option to me) and find someone else.

  • Really, you want to marry this guy why?
  • image chiualover:
    Really, you want to marry this guy why?

    This! He displays the maturity of a 13 year old boy! Do not settle!!

  • Why do you want to be with somebody who lies to you?

     

    fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. Unless yo ass is imoan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. But still no medal.
  • One of my rules that I had from the get go with my FI is that don't ever lie to me. And he hasn't, he's a smoker. But he smoked since he was 19, he did try quitting (which I didn't tell him to do, he just did it) and he struggled with it. About 4 months after quitting he started a new job, pretty stressful and within a few weeks he started smoking again just one here or there. Now 2 years later he's back to his regular smoking but he won't smoke in our new house. He never lied to me, he told me he was struggling with it and really stressed which is why he reverted back to it. Plus he got sick from the Chantix and and had some crazy nightmares from it. However, he's told me in the past that when we have kids he's prolly going to try quitting again and hope that it stays.

    The other issue regarding the women's boobs. Identify the source of the pictures before you do anything. My FI gets forwards from the guys regarding stuff like that and for the longest time he was saving the images then forwarding (didn't know he could do it right from the msg). Not that big of a deal to me either way. As long as he's not getting them from another women or stepping out on me. That's another rule...cheat and SEE YA!...been there, done that.

    Long story short sit down have a conversation. Communicating is key to the relationship. Level with him, tell him the reasons why you don't like what he's doing. 

    Good luck and keep those communication lines open! 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • K. So this is simple.

    You told him you don't like him "downloading boobies" and "smoking" but he is still doing both.

    Now what? 

  • image chiualover:
    Really, you want to marry this guy why?

    This. 

  • He's obviously not making you a priority in his life, so why should you make him a priority in yours? Walk away and find someone who cares about you and respects you.
    ExerciseMilestone
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards