Entertaining Ideas
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Adoption shower for older child?

Does anyone have any thoughts on having an adoption shower?  One of my professors (my favorite) is 51 yo and is adopting a boy between the ages of 4 and 8 out of the foster care system.

Do people do showers for adoptions of older kids?  Any thoughts?  A classmate just suggested this, literally like 2 minutes ago, so I don't have any idea if this is done or how you'd do it or what gifts you'd buy.  Also: would it be weird for her since we're her students and technically all subsisting on student loans? lol  She has us over to her house for cookouts a couple times a year, so the social aspect isn't strange, just maybe the gift giving side.

Re: Adoption shower for older child?

  • I think it would be sweet. I would wait until she is matched and the adoption is getting ready to finalize though. Things happen and if you do the shower and it doesn't work out, it would be awkward.
    Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~ Elizabeth Stone
    "Don't marry a man unless you would be PROUD to have a son exactly like him." ~ Unknown
  • I think it would be very appropriate and would love to go to an event like that.  Our friends adopted a little girl from Russia and we felt the need to buy gifts and bring them to her -even though we weren't specifically invited to a party.  It just seems the right thing to do... your friend will need everything for him.  Perhaps call it a Welcome Shower? 


  • It's a fabulous idea!  What better reason to celebrate?  I agree to wait until it's final and maybe call it something different. 

    I'm usually not a fan of telling guests what to bring, but I'd guess she isn't going to make a registry and people might enjoy a little direction.  Since you are students there are certainly smaller items you can purchase or go into together.  4-8 is kind of past the age of needing baby things

    I was trying to think of things she may not have accumulated and clothes were first, but that's really boring.  Maybe you could do a "stock the playroom" and suggest books, puzzles, games?  Those items can be anywhere from $5-25. 

    If it's a girl I'm also going to throw out cute hair bows.  Maybe you guys could even make them as an activity (as much as I hate activities). 

    If you can't tell I love this idea.  I'd love to go to this far more than any other shower.  Fostering and adopting is such an incredibly selfless and wonderful thing.  CELEBRATE!

  • I love the idea of "stock the game room"!

    Buying new board games can cost around $25 each, plus buying good quality sports equipment can get pricey, etc. 

    A 4-8 year old is aware of their surroundings and I think it'd be very welcoming if they not only had toys to call their own (not hand-me-downs), but also knowing people already love and accept them. 
  • This sounds like a very nice gesture for the child and the soon to be mom!  The toys are a great idea.  The child will be aware of the un-familiar surroundings, and may be scared at first.  Another thought was things for the bedroom; this may help to make the home seem more welcoming to him (ex. kid theme blanket, comforter, towels etc).  No matter what, this is a very thoughtful and kind thing to do.

    And....I think a shower is fine for an "older" child.  To me, it would be no different than if she were adopting an infant and/or having a baby on her own.

  • What a sweet idea, and a great way to welcome this child to a new home. I like the 'stock the game room' idea, and maybe throw in a stuffed toy or two for him to cuddle with.
  • When my youngest siblings were adopted and brought home at ages 3 years and 9 months, I think they had sort of a "welcome" party at church. This was over 10 years ago, so I don't really remember. I think it's a lovely gesture. One suggestion, though: I would keep it pretty low-key. It's important for the child to be bonding with his or her new parent, and not interacting with a bunch of strange adults. The child needs to know who the caregiver is. You might even want to wait a few months after the adoption is finalized.
  • It?s a nice idea but would suggest you to wait until the things happen.
  • Yes!!  Please be sure to host a 'Welcome Home/Kiddie Shower'.  Register for gifts.  Include gift cards for cash because the earlier months of adoption put a lot on a single or two parent home.  Also, include a few toys for the child, but things like clothes and shoes will really help.  Kids come from foster care without a lot of essentials.  What they do have likely will need to be replaced!!  This was my experience!  My daughters' (yes, two) will enjoy their Welcome Home Party in November (National Adoption Awareness Month).  If possible, your brother should involve this son or daughter in the planning process.  My kids are so excited about their involvement.  Any way to create attachment in the first year is great. I also waited two months to host the shower give me an opportunity to adjust and get them settled into school, activities, etc.  I elected to not wait until we finalized 6 months from now.  For finalization, I will host a big family dinner at home with only family and really close friends.

    Best wishes.

  • I think it's a great idea and with some creative shopping you can find some great deals. Here are some idea. Depending on the price, maybe you can go in with a few people

    • Board games
    • Outdoor games
    • Sidewalk chalk
    • Legos
    • Family membership to the zoo, or musuems or even just gift certificates that they can use to even just once to those locations

    Any of these things would help the parents be interactive with the child and create bonding moments. Especially as they are getting to know each other and talking may be ackward at times. Activites like those above may help to open lines of communication.

  • A Welcome Home or Welcome to the Family party/BBQ is a great idea and you can involve the kid(s) in the planning.
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