My fiance and I have been together 2.5 years and are supposed to be getting married in May. Back in June he lost his job, so I'm currently the only one with an income. I make good money, so we're surviving, but I also seem to be the only one who cooks and cleans on a regular basis.When we were both working, we were splitting chores pretty evenly, though he's always had a hard time cleaning up after himself; leaving garbage and dishes in "his area" until I get tired of the mess and pick it up myself. He tells me if I want something done to ask him and he'll do it, but when I ask, it usually ends up not getting done until I do it. The last time, he asked for a list of things to do and very little of it gets done without my doing; he'll do SOME dishes but not all. Or he'll realize that I'm mad and then start cleaning.
Recently, we had a huge discussion about this, after many smaller ones. I told him I refuse to live like trash and don't want a future where I am the provider and house maid. Every time we have discussions like this, things change for a few days and then go back to normal. He knows that I firmly believe that if I'm the sole money maker, then he should be doing housework. I've told him that if he wants me to be the housewife, then he needs to find a job where he can support us both. His response is usually just shutting down and not really having a discussion, aside from telling me he'll do better.
I don't know if it helps, but he was the family star athlete growing up, so his parents made sure that as long as he was performing amazingly in sports, he wouldn't have to do housework. When we met, his mom was still cleaning his room. I was raised in a home where, no matter what your extra-curriculars were, you still contributed to housework. I know that he was raised a different way and that it factors into how he does things, but I don't think me asking for a few chores to be done is too difficult.
I don't know where to go with this right now. I have a hard time walking away from someone I love, but at the same time I know I'm not really being respected or treated properly. Is there anything I can do that can help improve this? Or is it a lost cause?