I have been marred for almost 2 years, we waited until we were married to have sex, but prior to my relationship with my husband, I had sex with old boyfriends.
I have never. EVER. had a problem with sex.
However, my husband's penis is thick. Any and all penetration gives me vaginal tearing, which makes the rest of the event painful. I'm in pain for up to a full day afterward as well.
This has resulted in sex once a month or less with my husband (thats so awful...)
I talked to my OB/GYN- she tested me for high yeast because that can cause skin tears. That test was negative. She also gave me Lidocaine cream to apply to myself 30 minutes prior to sex. But thats my issue- applying it 30 minutes before- how am I going to know in 30 minutes I'll be having sex? I've only used it twice in the past 7 months (and it did help, but it's just inconvenient).
I know there's a lube problem too- not enough natural lube. I cannot use other lube (vagisil, etc) though because after I tear, it burns me when it gets in the cuts. My OB/GYN also said not to use it if it burns.
So I feel like I am SOL. I feel awful for my husband and its affecting me psychologically now- every time sex fails I get further into a hole where I don't want to have sex anymore. This morning we tried to have sex and after it hurt I clenched up so much he couldn't penetrate- and I didn't even feel myself doing that!!
Can anyone help me? I don't think I can stop the tears, because his penis is just... too big. But, does anyone know of a lube that won't burn me after I'm torn?
Can I force myself to have sex daily in hopes I'll stretch out? This is really affecting my marriage!!
Also- I've seen alot of other people with this problem sort of- except they seem to have pain inside. My pain is on the outside, on my skin.