Money Matters

Hypothetical-winning money and sharing with family

If you won $3M after taxes, how much would you give to a sibling or parent to "share the wealth" and considering your own goals. I was thinking about this because I know someone who's brother won 3M dollars and he got a check for 10K and he is mad because he thinks his brother should have given him a few hundred thousand at a minimum.
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Re: Hypothetical-winning money and sharing with family

  • The brother (who was given the $$) is a jerk. 10k can do wonders for some people, and he wasn't even entitled to it.

    I would've done more like 100k if it was me.

  • I'd prob just pay off their debts - mortgage and cars and SLs. So ~$200k?
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  • Kasi80Kasi80
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    I would likely pay off or buy my mom a house and help out my sister's with their debt.  I think that guy that is mad is a jerk for even thinking he's entitled to more.  That $10,000 was a gift so shut the heck up dude.  I'm assuming the guy who won didn't owe his brother money.

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  • Um.  Wow.  My brother would be damn lucky to even get 10K from me!!  (we aren't close, let' sjust say that).

    I don't know the specific amount I'd give.  $3mill is alot, but yet not alot.  I would be planning for our retirement, DS's college, and would want to try and work in going PT too.  Many of our plans would "eat up" a good amount of that $$.  I don't think I'd have a ton of "few hundred thousand" to give out to multiple people.

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  • No, no money owed and the guy that won is married and has 3 young kids-so they bought a little bit bigger house, the wife stays home now and they are trying to plan for early retirement for the winner and their kids college. There is also one other sibling and the winners wife has 3 siblings so they can't just throw a few hundred thousand at everyone. They won it-they are entitled to most of the benefit from it IMO
  • Haha, if you look at my brother post you'd know he wasn't getting a dime from me. My other brother is kind of being a jerk lately too, so I'd have to think about that one.  I'd probably buy my mom and dad a new car (they both need one badly) and take them on their dream vacations (Ireland and Latvia). We'd probably take the ILs on a fun vacation.
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  • My uncle won 1.67 million. He gave each sibling $10k, and each niece/nephew $5k. Not sure how much he gave my grandparents. There are 10 siblings and over 20 nieces/nephews in total. There were 2 brothers that we was really close in age to (the 3 youngest of ten) and I think he paid off their student loans as well. 

     This was in the mid 90's so it was more money then :-) There was one brother who was pissed he didn't get more, but everyone else was grateful. 

     

  • image hawaii123:
    There is also one other sibling and the winners wife has 3 siblings so they can't just throw a few hundred thousand at everyone.
    Exactly.  A "few hundred thousand" means, to me, at least $300k.  That times 5?  Um, there goes 1/2 their winnings! 

    The brother is a tool.

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  • We should all have those problems, lol.

     I have 4 siblings, and DH has 1.  I think I'd give about $25K to each of them, no questions asked.  I'd consider giving more to any of them if they were on hard times, and I'd put some aside for their kid's (present and future) education. As for my parents, my dad would probably refuse any money, although I would donate some in his name.  I'd buy my mom a small house (or condo), plus some extra...maybe $100K to live off and invest.  My IL's are comfy...I'd send them on a trip, or pay off their new kitchen, something like that.  I wouldn't feel obligated to share it, but my family and IL's are simple, hardworking and appreciative...I know they'd be grateful and I'd feel weird enjoying my wealth all by myself. 

    3 Mill sounds like a lot but it's not like it will set you up forever.   Honestly though, I might also be a little miffed if my sibling won that and only gave me 10K, especially if we were close.  I think 100K is a bit too much to expect though.  I'd never tell anyone I was miffed, either.

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  • I would pay off my siblings houses, buy MIL a new car, and send my parents to Ireland (they are well off but this is one trip they've always wanted to take and never did).

    We would pay off our mortgage and then save the rest. Possibly upgrade one of our cars to a minivan.

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  • $10,000 is the amount you can give someone each year w/o tax penalty, right?  Maybe it's more complicated....or a test....free money is free money
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  • BIL would be on his own.  I would probably buy my sister a new car.

    Then we would probably setup DH's niece and nephew with a nice college fund around $50k each.

  • Also, I probably would never tell anyone how much we actually won. When gifting family I would probably say something like "we won the lottery, not a TON, but we wanted to share some of it with you".
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  • $3M is a lot of money for just DH and I, so why be stingy?  

    I have a small immediate family- DH just has parents and 1 sibling and its the same for me. 

     I would give them enough to pay off all of their debts (which I know isn't too outrageous) and then some. This may sound crazy for some but $50 to $100K for each person is what I would be willing to do.

    My family has never been money hungry and have always been working class, so I know they wouldn't blow it immediately and would be grateful no matter what.... whether it be $1,000 or $100,000. 

     

     

  • Little sis would get tuition for her next two years of college.  My parents I would pay off the rest of their student loans.  Inlaws something similar. And nothing to our grown siblings.
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  • image EastCoastBride:

    Um.  Wow.  My brother would be damn lucky to even get 10K from me!!  (we aren't close, let' sjust say that).

    I don't know the specific amount I'd give.  $3mill is alot, but yet not alot.  I would be planning for our retirement, DS's college, and would want to try and work in going PT too.  Many of our plans would "eat up" a good amount of that $$.  I don't think I'd have a ton of "few hundred thousand" to give out to multiple people.

     

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  • I would give my sibling whatever she needs to pay off her student loans, and then a little something "extra" (like setting up an e-fund for her).

    I would pay off my parent's mortgage (which I think is just shy of 6 figures) and find out if there is anything else they need, like replacing an old car, money to invest, etc.

  • That is not a lot of money to just scatter to everyone, but I give my main family a little bit maybe 10k each, then invest the rest.  I think people just should be happy with what they were given..its extra money!
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  • I don't even think we'd tell our families if we won $3M. We might offer to pay for our nephews college when they were old enough, but for the most part, the only thing $3M would change in our lives would be our retirement planning.
  • Sue_sueSue_sue
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    I wouldn't expect a penny from anyone, and would be grateful for anything I received as a gift.

     

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  • Who knows the back story but on the surface I would say the brother who thinks he is entitled to more $ is a jerk.  I'd say we would probably give each set of our parents somewhere in the six-figure range.  I do not see us giving SIL & BIL more than $50K.
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  • I don't know.  I think 10k is reasonable.  Where do you stop giving to family?  Do you include your in laws too if you're married?

    When the Mega Millions was so high, we agreed to buy MIL a new car, pay off her mortgage, and put some money into retirement for her.  With our siblings we agreed on an amount, but would stay quiet as to where the money came from.  Same for my parents.  We didn't trust that our families would keep their mouths shut.  Thankfully we didn't win. 

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  • How ungrateful!!!! He is not entitled to anything and should be happy for free money! That is how I would feel anyway.

    Neither my parents or H's have really any debts per se. But I think I would give them either money or some awesome gift. For my parents, maybe a trip somewhere since they love to travel, and H's have been looking into a new car. I have no sibs, and we would probably give some money to H's. But it would be closer to $10k than $100k.

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  • I could take care of all of their needs and DH's/mine.

    Immediate family only. Mom and sister. 

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  • image AmeliaPond:
    I don't even think we'd tell our families if we won $3M. We might offer to pay for our nephews college when they were old enough, but for the most part, the only thing $3M would change in our lives would be our retirement planning.

    I agree with this.

  • image AmeliaPond:
    I don't even think we'd tell our families if we won $3M. We might offer to pay for our nephews college when they were old enough, but for the most part, the only thing $3M would change in our lives would be our retirement planning.
    I think I'd try to keep it a secret too-because it would just cause so many issues, but then people would probably start to wonder how I can still afford vacations when I quit my job. There are 6 siblings between H & I and 10 nieces/nephews. We just couldn't give 100s of thousands of it away and still get to do the "what if" things we would want. I'd jump up and down if someone gave me 10k!!
  • Um, is it terrible that I don't think we would do anything other than be generous with gifts?  My parents and ILs all have paid off homes and several million each in assets.  I don't think a gift of even a couple hundred thousand would change their lives much.  Our siblings are a tougher call.  DH and I have 3 siblings and 4 step-siblings between us, and while there are a couple we would love to help, I think we would feel bad not treating everyone equally.  I think in the end we might gift my brother and his fiance a much needed new car, and then put the rest of the money in trust for our kids, as they are the people that we would really want to benefit from it.

  • $3 million wouldn't change our lifestyle very much, but it would make us more comfortable in retirement and would give our kids more options for college. I might not do anything for anyone. 

    What if your siblings are high earners with no debts?  H's sisters are both high income earners in their 50s without kids.  They each may already have a net worth of $3 million+.   If we gave started giving away our new found wealth, it would probably just cement our place as the poor folks in the family. 

  • I don't know what I'd do with it.  Other than continue building my Scrooge Mc-Duck swimming room.

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  • 3 million minus the taxes is not enough to give money away freely.
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