Buying A Home

Bedroom on separate floor from kids

Hi. We are looking for our first home and TTC our first. Several of the houses we have looked at have a master suite on one floor and the remaining bedrooms on another floor. My mom has mentioned that we won't want young children that far away from us at night. I'm wondering if anyone has lived in this setup and how it worked or didn't work out for you. TIA!
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Re: Bedroom on separate floor from kids

  • We don't have kids yet, but this was a deal breaker for us. We wanted all bedrooms on the second floor because I didn't want to have to go up and down the stairs in the middle of the night once we had a baby.
  • I'm doing the same debate right now.  Found a cape cod with master on 2nd floor and one other small room, then 2 bigger bedrooms on the 1st.  We currently have a newborn and a 2.5 year old.  Remember a baby generally stays with you for the first 6 months or so
  • If it were a home I was planning on staying in long term it wouldn't be that big of a deal because later on down the road when they are older I'd prefer to have the bedrooms seperated. 

    But if this isn't a long term house, then the seperate floors would probably not be worth the inconvenience. 

  • We are in the same boat as you. Buying our first house and TTC. We saw several homes with the master on the main level and the beds up. I just can't imagine having little ones that far away. I told H that if we had older kids that it wouldn't be so bad but we are going to have little ones for many years to come. We are under contract now for a home with all the beds on one level.
  • I honestly never thought of this until I started watching House Hunters and reading this board. We started to think about it when looking for a house.

    We realized that it'd probably be easier having at least some of the rooms on the same level. But it would not have been a deal breaker for us.

    Our new house has 2 additional bedrooms on the same level as the master and 2 more bedrooms on a different level. We are planning on keeping the youngest kids on the same level and then when they get older, they can move to the ones on the different level.

    ETA: we don't have kids yet, but will probably start TTC in about a year.

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  • This was another deal breaker for us. This question comes up often, and it seems that this model is just more common certain places (like Texas). We only saw 1 or 2 houses with the master on a different floor. My children did not sleep in my room for 6 months, and going up and down the stairs to feed them would have been annoying. Even when they're older, I want to be on the same floor. My toddler gets into things, so I want to be close enough to intervene. And I can't imagine being on a different floor in the unlikely event of a fire or other emergency. Besides kids, I'm not interested in ever having my bedroom on the ground floor. I like the separation of living spaces downstairs, and sleeping spaces upstairs.
  • Dealbreaker for us, too.

    As others have mentioned, we didn't like the idea if being separated when our kids are young.  But we also prefer to have the more personal space (i.e., bedrooms) all on the 2nd floor, making the 1st floor more of our shared, "public" space for entertaining.  That separation was very important for us.

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  • We only looked at houses that had the master on the same floor as the other bedrooms because we had the same concern.  But my little sister just bought a house that has the master on the main, and her daughters room is upstairs, and it seems to work just fine.  The baby was in their bedroom for the first few months, and when she started to STTN (at about 3 months) they moved her to her own room.  Occasionally they have to go up there, but it really isn't an issue.  Now that I just had my second DD, and she STTN as well, I rarely have to go in there when she is sleeping.  And for purposes of sexy time, it would be nice if the girls bedrooms weren't so flipping close to ours!
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  • The house we're moving out of has the master bedroom downstairs and 2 bedrooms upstairs.

    Finn slept in our room until he was 3 months old and then we moved him upstairs.  During the hell that is the 4 month sleep regression (TTC folks, don't Google, you don't want to know) I slept in the guest room next to his room.  Once I'd had enough of the shenanigans and sleep trained him, I went back downstairs.  He's a very good sleeper and even without the monitor I'm pretty sure I could hear him downstairs if he really needed me.

    I can't say that I love having the bedrooms on separate floors and the house we're buying is a one story ranch.  If we were still house hunting and I fell in love with a house that had the master downstairs, we would buy it.

    I don't know if that helps anyone, but I just thought I'd share since we are living in that situation.

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  • We are under contract on a house with three beds on one floor (and one downstairs) and that was really hard to find, but important to us.

    We could have made it work with two beds up and one down, but I would not want to have the kids alone on the main level of the house. Also, I found that a lot of homes had the master and one other bed upstairs--we wouldn't want to have only one child on our level with the other downstairs.
     
     
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  • My parents have a house like this.  We moved there when I was 5 and my brother was only 2.  Honestly, it was never a problem and my mom said that she would have done it even if we were younger.  I'm glad they have this setup because as they get older all of their living space is all on one floor.  It's nice to know that I won't have to worry about that when they get older.

    And in terms of having a baby in this setup, I don't mean to sound snarky, but that's what baby monitors and baby gates are for.  And when they are no longer babies, I actually think it's a more convenient setup (i.e. everyone had their own space, if you KWIM).  Basically, it's not a deal breaker for me as the condo we are buying has the second bedroom a floor lower than the master.

  • This was a deal breaker for me. We only looked at homes with bedrooms all on the same level. DS is a great sleeper, but he still has bad nights when he's teething or sick where either DH or I have to go into his room to comfort him. When we're groggy and half out of it, I don't want to have to stumble up or downstairs to get to him. I also don't want him on another floor in case there is an emergency. I want to be able to get easy access to him.
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  • This would be a deal breaker for me.
  • image kaylie622:
    We don't have kids yet, but this was a deal breaker for us. We wanted all bedrooms on the second floor because I didn't want to have to go up and down the stairs in the middle of the night once we had a baby.
    This was exactly our mindset, too.  We didn't even want to see homes with 2 br upstairs and 1 br downstairs.

      It seems like others share the same concern, so I might also be worried about resale.

  • I was less concerned about ME having to go up and down stairs but more about a toddler or young child wandering around the house in the middle of night because she had a bad dream or a stomachache. Baby gates don't really help in that situation (if the child is on the main floor).

    Our new home is perfect though because three rooms are together and one (the guest room, for now) is completely separate from us and has a bathroom. Down the road, when we have teenagers, we could always do master down and guest room up with the kids. Lots of options "under roof," as our realtor liked to say.
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  • We looked and LOVED one home with a master on main setup.  Ultimately, I was not comfortable with sleeping on a different level than my child(ren).  I do not want her to try to navigate steps when she is sleepy and sick/scared/upset in the middle of the night. 

    The home we chose has the master upstairs with the other bedrooms, but on the other end of the main hall.  There is also a full bedroom/bath downstairs so if we stay here after we can no longer negotiate stairs so we aren't limited to "upstairs" living.

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  • I'll be honest and state right off the bat that I'm a worry wart. I do think worst case scenario.

    For me, this was a deal breaker. We must have kids (we have a DS who is two and a DD who is two months) beds with our's on the same level. I'm thinking of the little inconveniences like running up and down if there is a sickness or a nightmare. And, ditto PP about not wanting kids up and down in the dark. But also what if there's a fire or an intruder?

    I want to be able to be there or at least be close enough to them have the best shot possible with my husband's shot gun to protect my kids (okay, we don't have a shot gun, but you can get my point).

    Yeah. It's probably fine, but it COULD happen. Embarrassed

  • For older kids, it's not such a big deal, but I have a three year old and a 10 month old and we have the master on the first floor and I HATE IT!!!  I know this is alarmist, but I also feel like it's a fire hazard.  There's no way my kids would know how to exit the house on their own and obviously the baby wouldn't even be able to.  I just feel like having a room next to theirs, I could grab them and go - out a window, down the stairs, whatever.  But if you're on separate floors, it's more complicated.  You have to hope the path to them is clear, and then it takes more time to go up and down the stairs.  I just really dislike it enormously.  If my kids were ten years old, it wouldn't phase me.
  • It's a deal breaker for me for sure. I only wanted homes with 3 beds up. We may even be one and done but since we a still considering potentially having a second someday I wanted to make sure I had 3 rooms together. There is no way I'd feel comfortable with kids on another floor but I'm a worry wart -DD still hasn't left our bedroom and she's 10 months. Even with teenagers I'd worry about them sneaking out or people sneaking in if they were on a lower level and master was up. My sister and I had lower level bedrooms and my parents were up (split floorplan) and I know she did her fair share of sneaking out of the house... Makes me way too nervous. Fires, Kidnapping, Intruders ... I worry too much to have them far away from me. Also, for resale value I think all on the same floor is better.
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  • We have this set up currently and I hate it. Baby gates and monitors are great when they are babies and can't go anywhere on their own. However, a toddler or preschooler can navigate a baby gate quite well but still doesn't fully understand dangers involved. Then there all the other emergency situations that could arise and they are on another floor still unable to care for themselves under those circumstances. If your kids are older, its no big deal and the having the separate space would probably be nice. We are not in that place right now though so it would be a deal breaker for me. 
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  • We are specifically building a house with the master separated from the other bedrooms.  We want everyone to be able to have their own space.  We also like the idea of the home being "one level living" for us as we age.  Our floor plan is a story and a half, master down and 3 bedrooms up.  If it becomes an issue while having a very young child, we have discussed setting up a crib in the master or us sleeping in one of the extra bedrooms upstairs temporarily.  The long-term benefits of everyone being able to have their own space will, in my opinion, be well worth a potential short-term inconvenience of sleeping on a different floor than a child.

  • We are moving from New England to the South and this is the first time Ive seen this kind of layout and quite frankly its a deal breaker for me. 
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  • We have a house with the master suite on the second floor and the other two bedrooms on the first floor. Our DD stayed in our room for the first 6 months to facilitate middle of the night feedings, then moved to her own bedroom. We have a baby monitor so we can hear her if she needs us. It's never been a problem being on two separate floors. In fact, I like that DD's room is on the floor with the main living area because it's easy to send her to her room when she misbehaves!

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  • We prefer the master on the 1st floor and a temporary kids' room on the same level. I hate carrying kids up/down the stairs. We're currently in a house with all bedrooms on the 2nd floor. I don't like it at all. I have slipped on the stairs before while carrying DD. 
  • Yes this would be a deal breaker for me.  

    In fact I take this one step further.  This is why we're only looking at 1 story houses.

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  • We have that set up now.  DD slept in our room for a long time anyways so she only went upstairs once we were comfortable with it.  We also have a a smoke alarm in her room and a monitor in her room too so we aren't worried about fire safety.

    I like the way it is now.  I like not having to go upstairs all the itme to get stuff out of our room and having some privacy when she is in her room.  So it has worked out fine for our family.  I think once the kids get older we would like it even more.

  • Thanks everyone. I don't think it will be a deal breaker for us, but something to consider with all the other pros and cons of a particular home. We'll see what is in the market when we are ready to make an offer, which isn't too long from now at this point. Anyway, just wanted to do a little research to aid in our home shopping. 
    TTC Since 8/2011
    BFP #1 5/13/12 * EDD 1/24/13 * MC at 7 wks 4 days on 6/11/12
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