Relationships

Thats it.. I didn't keep the baby...

And I'm already depressed and questioning myself. Please keep the I told you so's to yourself. I already hate myself and just want to curl in a ball a disappear. I'm trying to not think about it to much because I can't reverse it now and I did what I thought was best, not being able to financially support it (well I could but I'd be doing it on my own) , or it growing up in a different state then his or her dad.I just hope it gets better.. Does it get better? Or am I going to hate myself forever. I know you can't really answer, just wondering if anybody else went through this? This is also very fresh, just happened today..

Re: Thats it.. I didn't keep the baby...

  • Anyone who says "I told you so" is a jag anyway. Only you can dictate how to feel about this, so please don't feel guilty. Good luck to you.
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    I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
  • I'm so sorry you are hurting. Is there anyone who can provide you comfort and support nearby?

     

  • Ditto CS. is there anyone you can talk to? Also I would look into some counseling outside of family and friends. And no one should make you feel bad about this. 
  • Don't hate yourself. I hope you can find peace. Maybe a professional would help get you past the depression/anger/etc.
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  • That's the sad part.. I really don't have anybody to talk to because everybody around me is all about baby's, they wouldn't  even think about how would everything get paid for or the fact we'd have to live in two states because there's no way for me to live with him with a baby because of his dad, who's sick so if the child got sick ( which it would) could literally end up killing him. I only really have him to talk to but he's no better because when I called him earlier he was literally making him self sick. So crazy how life changes so quickly. 3 months ago when everything was 'normal' it woulda been no question but literally things changed within a 2 weeks and messed up life's plans for a child.. 
  • My post was just wiped out so I'll keep this short. Try the site afterabortion.com or even better is http://afterabortion.com/message.html 

    The message board is filled with women who have had abortions and need support and who offer support. You will not find judgement there. Many regret the decision many don't regret it and many are in between but the important things is they have been there and they know what it's like.

    I suggest you go there if you feel you need to talk to peple who have been there. It's a safe environment.

  • I'm really sorry. If you made the decision that you feel comfortable with, then you did the right thing. Not to say that it won't be difficult, but I hope that one day you will find some peace in your choice. *Hugs.*
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    Welcome to my dojo.
  • Only an *** would ever say anything like "I told you so" to someone in your situation.

    There's a ministry that does weekend retreats for women who want help processing their feelings after abortion with others in a similar situation called Rachel's Vineyard (http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/).  At the very least, you may find some comfort in reading through the questions posted by others in their Q&A section: http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/qa/forum-list.aspx.
    Rita Mae - 11/8/10

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  • it will get better.


    the social services dept might have access to information for support for you

    I'm fabulous.
  • I'm sorry.  It's such a tough decision to make.  Try not to dwell on the "what ifs" and know that you made the right decision for you.  No one else can tell you you made the wrong choice because it's entirely dependent on the individual.  Anyone who tries to make you feel bad is no friend to you.

    I hope you're able to come to peace with your decision.

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    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • Thanks you guys, im hoping tomorrow I'll feel a little better since in 110% emotionally drained.. Maybe sleep will help. Im just thankful I'm not cramping or is to much discomfort cause that would make this 100 times worse..
  • I'm sorry you're feeling this way but I think it's perfectly understandable even if you know it was the best decision for you right now.

    Nobody should make you feel bad for your choice because they aren't in your situation. Even if you know people who would be supportive and not judgey, I think talking to a third party would be a good idea. But whether you talk to a professional or just others who have been there, it will get better.

     

    I'm pretty sure it's pronounced your mom's a moron and if you didn't have your name legally changed by the age of 22, so are you. Unless you're from another continent. -Groomz
  • I'm so sorry about the whole situation. I can say with certainty that you would be having indecision and second thoughts even if you decided to keep it. Coming from someone who was in similar situation (as far as becoming pregnant and not sure about keeping it) I decided to keep the baby and I still wonder if I made the right decision sometimes. Is she getting enough food, love, attention, etc? Am I doing a good job? Is this a good life?

    Every situation, person and decision are unique and I am sure you made the best decision for you and your situation. Don't let anyone else tell you differently. It will get better if you're open to letting it get better. Yours is not an easy decision to make but it does not mean you should let it haunt you forever. PP's have given you some great links and I hope you find someone to talk to to help you work out your feelings on this matter.

    Good luck to you.

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    "If you wanna win then you shoulda put a hat on it. Don't be mad when you see a knit cap won it. If you wanna win then you shoulda put a hat on it."- Fenton

  • I am sorry for your loss & the tough decision/feelings & circumstances that brought you to this place. I am told it does get slightly easier with time. You made the decision that was best for you in this time. You can still grieve for what was & what might have been, there is no shame. However, don't torture yourself.

    Perhaps a professional and/or a support group would benefit you at this time? I really hope you can find some peace for yourself. It must be so tough. ((hugs)) 

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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • Don't let anyone make you feel bad about your choice. You made the right one. I hope that you can find peace in the fact that you did what was best for everyone involved.
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  • i'm sorry that you are feeling poor, but glad that you considered so many different angles before making your choice.

    i like the idea of the website and message board that was posted above. 

    i hope you are able to find some support.

    and also...i think you are brave for coming back here and updating. so, go you!

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  • Aw honey... I'm sorry you have to go through this and feel all this stuff. You made a decision based on what was best. These days that's not easy to come by. You are very brave for coming back and posting, brave for doing it and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You don't owe an explanation. 

    I hope you find peace sweetie. It might not be worth much since I'm a stranger but I'm behind you 100%.  

    My Beans

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  • I would give you a hug if I knew you.  You made the right choice for you; and, like everyone said, only a jerk would make you feel bad about it.  I hope that you feel better soon. 
    We, we like to party.
  • Take good care of yourself hun.  Have you looked into counseling and support groups in your area?  Do you have family or friends who can be there with you?  Having support is so important.  You don't have to face this alone.

  • Thanks guys! Today wasn't much better.. Today I'm filled with rage at myself and my boyfriend. Like im having a love/hate relationship with him today and I hate it, one minute its like i need him more then anything right now because i can only talk to him and the next im like do i even want to be with this man? Why didnt he figure out how we could have made this work? Followed by complete sadness. So clearly not thinking logically or rationally right now. Of course all the hotline numbers they provided me with are from 5-10 at night and I'm working. So I guess you can't feel sadness the rest of the hours? but I am looking up a support groups in my area because I need to hear from some real people who went through this, some people don want to discuss this topic because it is a sensitive subject and I get that So I think im going to go see somebody.
  • I think that going to see somebody is a good idea.

    Also,check your private messages. I sent some information that I hope is helpful.

    I'm pretty sure it's pronounced your mom's a moron and if you didn't have your name legally changed by the age of 22, so are you. Unless you're from another continent. -Groomz
  • I'm glad you made the right choice for yourself.
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