I'm a newbie wife, fresh out of the gate. Just got married on the third! This isn't really a rant, per se, but I do need some advice.
My MIL has always made it clear even prior to the wedding how excited she would be for grandkids, but she's mentioned it in every conversation since the wedding. Not a big deal or anything, but she's asking when we'll have kids and saying she can't wait to plan the baby shower constantly.
The reason why H and I are bothered by it a bit is because I'm not exactly sure how easy it will be for me to conceive. As far as we know, I have nothing wrong with me that would keep me from having children, BUT I do have a direct family history with fertility issues (my grandmother had many miscarriages and birthed a full-term stillborn, and my mother miscarried every child but me, and I was premature, plus both went into early menopause. There are also some fertility issues on my father's side, but mostly with female cousins, so less direct.) and have been told in the past by doctors that conception may not be as easy for me as for most women. Of course, no one is going to run tests until we try to conceive or there is an issue that would warrant them needing to check, but it is something I've known for a long time.
H, of course, knows about all of this and is completely okay with this, as am I. We aren't even sure if we want children. It's something we want to revisit in five to ten years. We do know that in the event that conceiving a child will be difficult that we do not want to have IVF or hormone treatments. We don't personally feel like going out of our way for a child as it isn't THAT important to us. We've just never shared our intentions with his family. We didn't think it was their business. However, if this is something that is going to be brought up fairly often, I feel like perhaps we should go ahead and let his mom know so 1) she can stop asking about it and 2) it won't come as a complete shock to her that she may not have grandchildren from us.
So, my question is, should I be the one to tell her? Should H? Should we do it together? What would be the best way to tell her? Has anyone else faced this who is willing to share their story?
Thanks in advance!