So there are various reasons why my husband and I do not want anything to do with my brother or his fiancee, too many to really get into. I've tried several times to explain to my parents that we want nothing to do with them but it's always ended in heated discussion and me crying. I even tried not attending my family's Thanksgiving dinner last year but rather invited my parents to have thanksgiving dinner with us and my husband's family to make a point that we want to be seperated but all it did was get my mother upset and made my family hate my husband even more because they think he's influencing me and drawing me away from them. And they keep saying that my brother's kids will suffer if their aunt is not around. What they really don't get is I've felt this way since I was a child and my husband is only encouraging me to be more forceful with the issue. And I don't see how my nephews are going to suffer any because if I were living farther away (say another state or across country) they wouldn't see me anyways.
I know that when my parents pass-on I will no longer continue a relationship with my brother. As sad as it is to say, I am only doing it so that they'll stop complaining. My husband and I just bought a townhouse, and have agreed that my brother's family is not welcome there at any time. When we decide to have kids, I can only imagine how much worse it is going to get. As it stands now, I am practically forced into being a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding. Lucky me, they asked 2 years in advance. And because we all live in the same community, I am always expected to be at all his kids birthday parties and at every holiday dinner.
I was wondering how other couples in similar situations have made the split. I know it's going to be a long process but I can't imagine myself living like this for the next 20 years until my parent's pass away.