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Would you want to have a Re-Wedding?

I have been thinking lately about the few things that went wrong at my wedding, and the things that I would have done differently. As we celebrate our 2 year anniversary, I am already thinking about what we are going to do at the big milestone anniversary's, such as 5, 10, etc. These seperate trains of thought collided in my head, and I think I want to have a Re-Wedding for our 5 year anniversary. This will be a great opportuntity to have another semi-wedding. I can "fix" all of the things that went wrong the first time, and explore some ideas that I choose to ditch the first time around. Of course there would be a few differences, such as no gift registry (maybe optional donations accepted to go to a chariatble cause), fewer guest (445 showed up the 1st time), and no pressure ! I am a bit of a diva, so I am still going to wear a wedding dress, have a photogrpaher, and go through that whole "she-bang". I am also thinking about a combo ceremomy/reception.

Has anyone heard of anyone else doing this. I know NBA Doug Christy and his wife have a full wedding every year (that's a bit much, and I don't have a NBA budget). I would love some feedback on whether this idea is over the top or if you have heard of anyone else doing the same thing...I think that if my husband will agree to it, I want to do one every 5 years or everytime our anniversary falls on a Saturday!

Re: Would you want to have a Re-Wedding?

  • soooo... you want to do a vow renewal. ?for your 2nd anniversary. ?when you had a ginormous freaking wedding to begin with.

    sweet.?

    [the bliz-og]
  • I wouldn't mind having one. Since my wedding, I've lost 35 pounds and I would love to have new wedding pictures. Don't get me wrong... I loved my wedding! But there are a few things I would have done differently. I think it would be great to do it all over again.
  • Frankly, I think it's the epitome of Attention Whorish and tacky as hell. 

    But I guess if you need to be a diva and throw yourself a party that includes a fake wedding ceremony every 5 years, go for it.  I bet by the second one, no one RSVPs a yes to you...........I mean, how many times can people watch you get married and still be excited about it?

    And don't be surprised if you get called a few less-than-pleasant names either...........most normal, sane people see no need to do what you are describing. 

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  • That is ridiculous, and if you were my friend I would tell you so.  Come to think of it, you would not be my friend because you are tacky and greedy.

    Maybride, on behalf of TIP, I would like to invite you to join us.  And bring your office supplies. 

  • So, when will you fix everything that goes wrong at your re-wedding?  When will you explore all the ideas you considered but threw out for the re-wedding?  You will never be able to have a perfect event!

    IMHO, weddings are special because they're a once-in-a-lifetime event.  If you throw one every few years your friends and family are just going to roll their eyes at what an AW you are being. 

     

  • Yeah - that really sounds insaine. I understand if you want to throw a party and wear a white dress - but that should be as far as it goes. Do a vow renewal on your 25th or 50th wedding anniversary.
  • I def find this odd.  I think an anniversary party at 20, 30, etc would be fine, but not at 2, 5 yrs!  Personally, I'd save the money from the party, and travel!  Go on an anniversary trip... and from the sounds of it, it would be quite a trip w/ your budget.
    -- Jackie
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  • We plan to renew our vows privately on our 5 year anniversary.  Just us, when we go on vacation somewhere. No guests, no gifts, no reception (just a dinner for two), me in a pretty sun dress (not necassarily white... more likely not) and him in shorts and a golf shirt (or something totally casual).  We're doing it strictly for our own benefit and no one else needs to be involved.  It's just something totally private and romantic we've always talked about doing.

    There are things that I didn't like about my wedding (ie. I've lost A LOT of weight since) but I don't want (nor could I afford) to do it again.  That day was really special to me and I don't want to over shadow it with anything else.

     

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  • You are talking about a vow renewal.  WTF is a re-wedding?

    And no, I'm not interested in having one. 

  • My advice is to let it go. Your wedding is just one day...why are you still focusing on the things that didn't quite go according to plan? That's just life - things aren't always perfect. Didn't you get a great marriage out of it? That should be all that matters....not the little things that didn't go quite right.

    Oh, and Doug Christie and his wife are craz-azy. I wouldn't use them as an example for what marriage should be. Indifferent

  • BWAAAHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! 

    That would be so tacky.

     

  • There are plenty of people who renew their vows.  I think 5 years is kind of soon, but I know someone that does it every 5 years.

    The people that do it every 5 years, only invite the immediate family and very close friends.  They go through all the same things as a wedding (dress/photographer/big dinner/flowers/etc.), but everything is subdued.

    If you want to do something small, intimate and subdued after 5 years that's fine.

    If you want to go all out, I would recommend saving it for your 25th anniversary, since it's more a milestone anniversary.

    (PS I don't really understand the need for all the rude comments in PPs)

     

  • Thank you for your comments. Frankly, I thought the whole point of this site was to bounce ideas off of other married women, not be called names and have people say that "they wouldn't be my friend". I mean honestly, are we in 2nd grade. Anyway, I appreciate the feedback and I hope that in the future when you may consider leaving a rude comment, you just don't write anything at all. It just makes you look like hateful, mean, and rude..
  • I think it sounds like a really lame, selfish, terrible idea.  Maybe you should go on a fabulous vacation instead.
  • Man you people are harsh! ?I agree with PP that I don't think it is necessary at 5 years unless you are strictly renewing your vows for you. ?If you want at the 25 yr mark, go all out, but just save it for now.

    Sorry some people are so rude, I just don't understand that.?

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  • I didn't get to have the wedding I wanted first time around (but I still had a great wedding), so we already agreed our 10 year anniversary we'd do a vow renewal. ?However, what we're doing is pretty simple--vows on the beach at sunset and then hang around a few more days and relax. ?We're treating it more like a vacation than anything. ?We'll tell our friends/family the year before in case they'd like to save up and go with us and be part of the vow renewal, too. ?The "reception" would probably be a big dinner with an anniversary cake for dessert and then party at the bar--same as our normal family vacations minus the anniversary cake!

    Doing a full-blown wedding is a little much, imo.?

    BabyFetus Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
  • I agree -- why are people being so nasty about giving their opinion here? There are kinder ways of getting your point across. This board is usually a friendly -- but still honest -- place to get ideas and ask opinions. It's not necessary to call anyone names to tell them you disagree with them, especially about a freakin' party for crying out loud.
  • Sounds like your wedding was too big, maybe you didn't really enjoy yourself? If you are thinking about something like this though, I would go more low-key, smaller, maybe just immediate family and a few close friends. Go on a weekend vacation together, something like that.

     Despite all the negative comments, I can see how someone who lost a lot of weight or otherwise changed how they looked might want to "do it over"

  • If your looking for awesome pictures in your new, slimmer body, why don't you just get some trash-the-dress pictures on your anniversary?  I think that would be a fun way to spend the day.
  • YOu know...it's a little strange that you are really considering it all over again. I understand that a wedding is the best day probably you have ever experienced...i often wish that i could re-live my own as well. However, I won't. It is truly a once in a lifetime experience. I do plan to have a big reception-like partay at like 20 or 30 years...and probably wear a beautiful dress and all....but i think that doing it so soon....is a bit absurd.  Until; then save the money...travel buy cool things...haha. I dunno. Sorry.
  • DH and I are introverts and our wedding had less than 75 guests, so no that would not be something that we would be interested in doing.

    I don't think it's a bad idea though if you AND your DH both want to do it.  And call it a vow renewal and be clear that you aren't expecting gifts, but that you are celebrating your anniversary.

    It could be fun.  I think it could also be fun just to dress up for your anniversary and hire a photographer to do a photo shoot.  Or go on a romantic vacation....there's lots of special ways to commemorate your anniversary. 

  • Since everybody is responding so negatively, that is something you should really consider. Do you want to be a family joke or laughingstock? Because even if they tell you to your face that it's a good idea, I can promise that they're talking about you behind your back. You don't get a do-over, and nobody cares about your vows or commitment to each other as much as the two of you do. It seems like you're making a joke out of your marriage by having a fake wedding. What's next? A fake pregnancy, followed by a shower for an unconceived child, complete with a pretend trip to labor & delivery? No. That would be silly. And so is a fake wedding.
    image
  • I think having a re-wedding every five years is over the top. You are expecting too much from your family and friends in terms of money and attention.

    You know your friends and family best, but if I was invited there would be a lot of eye rolling at our house, and if travel was involved we would not attend.

  • Wowza, some harsh words here!

    I have often thought about what I would do differently. However, my wedding was a 3 day long, super fun event so I cannot complain.

    I have thought about renting out the house we got married in at 5 years and just having a celebration. I probably wouldn't renew my vows or wear an actual wedding dress - but I'd have a photographer (what kind of party doesn't need a photographer? Hehe) and invite my friends and family and just have a party, basically, with our anniversary as the excuse to have fun! Nothing wrong with that!

  • While I hear you on the 'not having everything go the right way' situation, I still think it's a bit much to do the big thing every 5 years, or even again at 2. I have a girlfriend who wanted to do it on her 1 year anniv. because it hailed at her outdoor wedding, but, she never did it because she realized that most people wouldn't be willing to travel for it a second time.

     
    If you want to re-do your portraits, go for it. I'm a pro-photographer and I don't know any photogs who would laugh at that idea... I even offer it at my studio. You don't have to do a TTD, just do a 'post' bridal session.

    And I feel for you for the harsh feedback!
     

    10-18-08: Our Wedding Date
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