Sex & Romance

i have anxiety about sex...

whenever my boyfriend and i get into the mood, he moves a little too fast for me, and i dont have enough time to get 'ready', so to speak. I tell him to slow down, and he does, but sometimes it takes me so long to get ready, he loses his erection. i dont blame him, and i feel like its kind of my fault. i know i could just throw some lube on there, but even with lube it hurts afterwards because i wasnt relaxed enough. does anyone else have this problem? how have you coped with it?

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Re: i have anxiety about sex...

  • He's got to understand that women aren't like men. Women need time to warm up.

    How oral sex for you? Let him start with that --- you should get more than sufficiently wet and sex will be a lot easier for you.

    Talk to him about foreplay and the both of you taking it nice and easy and slow --- and have the discussion outside of the bedroom.:) PUt a positive spin on it: "Honey, you're so hot and I'd love it if sex could last a lot longer!" That should help matters a great deal.:)
  • he tried to do a little oral, but its been so long since wed done it, i dont think he remembered the technique i liked haha! so i told him what i like and were gonna try again. ill try and sexy talk him too, hopefully that works!
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  • Never be embarrassed by your body and its responses.  Never apologize for how long you take to get excited.

    Oral or manual stimulation is standard.  If he goes a bit limp, you know how to get him back in the game.  Sex should always be mutually rewarding.   Your sex life should not be ruled by his penis. 

  • ~NB~~NB~
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    image TarponMonoxide:
    He's got to understand that women aren't like men. Women need time to warm up.

    True. His being ignorant and inconsiderate.
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