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Am I overreacting? (especially for teachers)

DS1 is going into 9th grade at the local HS.  The form to choose classes was due a couple weeks ago when he was at his dad's house (also in our neighborhood) so he walked up to drop off the form in the school office.  While there, he met a a man who said he was a substitute math teacher, and offered him a ride home.  DS1 saw he was wearing some sort of badge/name tag, assumed he was legit, and accepted.

When I finally heard about it, I was so upset I was shaking.  Granted, DS1 is a big guy - 6' and probably 175 lbs.  Still, getting into a car with someone who you don't know is absolutely not OK in my book.  DS thinks he can handle himself, and while he is strong, he is also a naive kid who would easily be in trouble if the man had a weapon, or a number of other situations.  (We had a long talk about this.)

At the same time, I'm really pissed at this teacher.  Why would he offer a ride home to a kid he didn't know?  It's not like it was 20 degrees below zero or anything, and no parents were called.  IMO it's a horrible judgement call for an adult.  I wouldn't even take my kids' friends home without their parents knowledge.  He didn't talk to DS' SM when he dropped him off either.

I want to call the school and raise hell tomorrow, but have been told I might be overreacting.  WDYT?

 

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Re: Am I overreacting? (especially for teachers)

  • I, too would be pissed.  I think I may call, although I'm not so sure what I would say. Do you have the name of the teacher/staff member?  This would give me the creeps and I would worry about my child being around this person.

     

  • I would say you are not overreacting. I think you should definitely call the school.

     

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  • Yes I would absolutely call to report this. I doubt anyone knows it happened and they need to know.  However, I wouldn't yell at the lady who answers the phone who most likely knows absolutely nothing about this substitute teacher.  It was a substitute teacher, not a contracted teacher, and it was certainly not a decision made by the school.  The substitute teacher does need to be reported though because that is not at all OK.  I also think it's a good idea to reinforce repeatedly that hopping in a car with a stranger, no matter what type of name tag that that person may be wearing, is a horrible, horrible decision.

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  • AugustBride- I guess I should specify what "raising hell" means to me.  Wink  I know it wasn't the school secretary or anyone in the office that made this decision.  My plan was to talk to someone in admin and make darn sure they speak to the sub and he realizes how serious this is.

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  • In Montana this sort of thing happens all the time and it's totally legit.  In Colorado, I'd have the exact same reaction as you did.  The teacher shouldn't have offered without discussing it with parents (especially since it wasn't an emergency), and DS should not have accepted.  His size is a deterrent I'm sure, but it's nothing if someone caught him off guard or had a weapon.
  • image asilsjf:
    In Montana this sort of thing happens all the time and it's totally legit.  In Colorado, I'd have the exact same reaction as you did.  The teacher shouldn't have offered without discussing it with parents (especially since it wasn't an emergency), and DS should not have accepted.  His size is a deterrent I'm sure, but it's nothing if someone caught him off guard or had a weapon.

    This exactly. Where I grew up this was totally normal. In fact, I remember going home with a teacher at some point when I was in elementary school because I missed my bus and my parents worked 90 minutes away from my school and were hard to get in contact with (so I'd be looking at a 2-3 hour wait). I didn't know him but it was totally normal. Here? Not so much. I'd call and report it but I wouldn't yell or anything.

  • image goldenjes:

    AugustBride- I guess I should specify what "raising hell" means to me.  Wink  I know it wasn't the school secretary or anyone in the office that made this decision.  My plan was to talk to someone in admin and make darn sure they speak to the sub and he realizes how serious this is.

    Sounds like a good plan to me.  This is completely inappropriate.  I AM a sub right now and would NEVER offer to drive a student home EVER!!! 

  • image tsmomma42:

    image asilsjf:
    In Montana this sort of thing happens all the time and it's totally legit.  In Colorado, I'd have the exact same reaction as you did.  The teacher shouldn't have offered without discussing it with parents (especially since it wasn't an emergency), and DS should not have accepted.  His size is a deterrent I'm sure, but it's nothing if someone caught him off guard or had a weapon.

    This exactly. Where I grew up this was totally normal. In fact, I remember going home with a teacher at some point when I was in elementary school because I missed my bus and my parents worked 90 minutes away from my school and were hard to get in contact with (so I'd be looking at a 2-3 hour wait). I didn't know him but it was totally normal. Here? Not so much. I'd call and report it but I wouldn't yell or anything.



    I would feel differently if DS was offered a ride from his current history teacher (also male) because I know who he is, and DS has been in his class for almost 3 years. I don't think I'd have a problem with any of the kids' past/current teachers giving them a ride if needed, but I know them. This person knew DS was there to turn in freshman paperwork, introduced himself, and DS is so used to trusting teachers that he automatically assumed this guy was ok, and that he really was a teacher.

    This also made me realize how long it's been since I've had any kind of stranger-awareness talks with him.

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  • Oh hellz no that would not be OK.  Definitely pursue it, and do some re-education with DS1.

    Seriously... one shot of a tranq in his leg and his size wouldn't matter at all.  And psychos are both smart and motivated.  I'd be mad as hell at both teacher and my kid.

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  • I just watched Lovely Bones last night so I'm all riled up about not trusting people... if it were one of the actual teachers at the HS I still wouldn't be thrilled about it, but I'd be less upset. I'd be very upset if it was a sub, especially not even one that your DS knew.
  • Nope, not overreacting at all.  I would love to still live in a place, day and age where well-meaning people and teachers can do kind things for others, but we have to face the reality that there are just too many factors that don't allow for this kind of thing anymore.  As a teacher I would never even think to do such a thing, even with the students who I know really well and know their parents well. 

     I've noticed that, unfortunately, there are quite a few subs who don't have common sense or what I call "teacher sense". The school needs to know it happened so they can talk to the sub about it.

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