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WWND - 12yo birthday party (long)

Birthdays are kind of a big deal in our house.  For the past few years, we've had the parties at home so my boys can invite several friends over instead of going somewhere like Boondocks with only 1 or 2 people.

DS2 originally asked me to take him & a few friends to Hunger Games this year, and the tickets could be his present since he wanted to have more people attend.  He still wanted kids to hang out here, have cake,etc either before or afterward and I was OK with that plan.

DS2 and his good friend K share the same birthday and want to have a joint party since they have most of the same friends at school too.  K's brother passed away in the fall and his family is in a bad financial place due to medical bills, lost jobs, etc.  His mom thought that DS2 & K would just watch the movie together and have a sleepover at one of our houses.  She has never really done birthday parties (partially because she needed to keep germs away from her older son, and his treatment wore them out) but she seems OK with whatever.  I just don't want to offend her or make her feel badly though.

My options (as I see them - feel free to chime in)

1) DS & K go see the movie, have a sleepover at his house and celebrate his birthday there.  We have a party here later for DS, just kids over, no movie.

2) Talk to K's mom about co-hosting the party DS2 asked for, which would probably be at my house, and we take several kids to the movie.

3) Have all the friends meet at movies, do cake somewhere nearby (or maybe just skip that part) and then DS & K go to one of the houses for a sleepover.

 I'm OK paying for all or most of any option (and planned on it originally) but I don't want to offend her and don't know how to broach the subject without doing so. 




Re: WWND - 12yo birthday party (long)

  • I'd do #2.  I'd tell her that was what you were originally planning on, but your son mentioned he wanted a joint party, so why don't you do that at your house?   I'd go on about it really isn't anymore more/cost for you and you'd be more than happy to host it. 

    If she asks to help- have her do the cake and offer to drive the boys to the movies.



  • When I've dealt with similar situations, I have been direct with the other person.  I'd call her and tell her what the kids want and ask her what she thinks.  Some people don't like to take 'charity' even if you were planning on spending the money anyway.  If she's good with you paying for the tickets, great. If not, I think your DS needs to decide if it's more important to him to go to the movies with just the one friend (joint bday) or to have his own party the original way it was planned (not a joint bday).
  • I like #2 maybe you could tell her you already planned on paying for the tickets and if she offers to help you could ask her to help with snacks, cake, or drinks?
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  • image LBaker19:
    I like #2 maybe you could tell her you already planned on paying for the tickets and if she offers to help you could ask her to help with snacks, cake, or drinks?

    I agree.  I'd definitely take the "I was already going to do this for DS...but I know the boys would really love to make it a joint birthday because they want to celebrate together".  

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