Birthdays are kind of a big deal in our house. For the past few years, we've had the parties at home so my boys can invite several friends over instead of going somewhere like Boondocks with only 1 or 2 people.
DS2 originally asked me to take him & a few friends to Hunger Games this year, and the tickets could be his present since he wanted to have more people attend. He still wanted kids to hang out here, have cake,etc either before or afterward and I was OK with that plan.
DS2 and his good friend K share the same birthday and want to have a joint party since they have most of the same friends at school too. K's brother passed away in the fall and his family is in a bad financial place due to medical bills, lost jobs, etc. His mom thought that DS2 & K would just watch the movie together and have a sleepover at one of our houses. She has never really done birthday parties (partially because she needed to keep germs away from her older son, and his treatment wore them out) but she seems OK with whatever. I just don't want to offend her or make her feel badly though.
My options (as I see them - feel free to chime in)
1) DS & K go see the movie, have a sleepover at his house and celebrate his birthday there. We have a party here later for DS, just kids over, no movie.
2) Talk to K's mom about co-hosting the party DS2 asked for, which would probably be at my house, and we take several kids to the movie.
3) Have all the friends meet at movies, do cake somewhere nearby (or maybe just skip that part) and then DS & K go to one of the houses for a sleepover.
I'm OK paying for all or most of any option (and planned on it originally) but I don't want to offend her and don't know how to broach the subject without doing so.