Politics & Current Events

NYT--Ending Bullying by "Fixing" the Victims

24

Re: NYT--Ending Bullying by "Fixing" the Victims

  • image majorwife:
    image Pamela05:
     

    That's my point. The parents of bottle kid aren't teaching any coping skills. They teach him to play the baby which just eggs the bullies on. Bullies shouldn't be doing it to begin with. And kids need to be encouraged /empowered to stand up for themselves at age6 or 26.

    I guarantee you this kid will be one of those whose mom wants to come to his job interviews if there isn't some intervention before then. His mom is doing him no favors. 

    a coping skill would be for the kid to say to everyone "fucck you. i love my bottle." instead of putting it away for shame.

    Now I do think a 6 yo with a bottle is silly but replace it with doll or toy or pink hair or glasses or what have you.

    I get the impression from you that this kid should sack up and chuck the bottle to cope, not learn to be confident in who he is bottle or no

    I think his parents are wrong for treating him like a baby still. 
  • Commenting strictly on the "babying" phenomenon and not necessarily on a connection to bullying...

    I have definitely seen an increase in middle school kids being "babied," whether it's being the helpless hand-raiser and asking questions ALL THE TIME throughout the test (regardless of difficulty), trying to get answers given to them, listening to directions for five minutes and asking, "So what do we do?"   or wanting supplies like pencils and papers to be given to them instead of taking responsibility and bringing them...   We have to walk our kids back from the cafeteria, losing 5 minutes of our 30 minute lunch, because they can't walk quietly back from class.  It's very elementary-like.

    We also have a new phenomenon this year, which is the parent who says in conference, "My son's always been an A or B student."   It's as if their previous performance means that you should give them a higher grade.  Really, who gives a darn if a kid was smart in third or fourth grade?   It's usually a kid who is getting a middle C and wouldn't even come close to an A if there weren't so much inflation with easy points like spelling tests.  It's actually the parent trying to pull a psychological trick---making you feel as if they're smart so that they'll be given the benefit of the doubt on papers and so on.  I'm sure that sometimes there's a self-fulfilling prophecy.


     

    Romney-Portman 2012 ORGAN DONOR: DEAL WITH IT. :-) :-)
  • i don't think a bottle a baby makes. this kid could still be on the boob. ;)

    listen, the world is a cold, harsh, mean place. i don't blame his folks one bit for wanting to shelter him and allow this child to be a child still. we all grow up way too fast these days and there is nothing wrong with not acting a certain way. 

    i think his folks should teach him to nutpunch and tell everyone to f off and be confident in himself but also tell him it will be hard when the parents of the bullies think he is being a baby.

    but i am probably raising sissies too.

    Green Cleaning Recipes
    ~Be a Good Wife ~ Updated 3.30.12 - Smell Like A Dirty Hippy
    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Tickerimage
  • So, I guess there's agreement with this, then, eh?

    Want to beat those bullies? Act less gay

    Teachers? tip for pupil victims

    Bullies ... kids say they received shocking advice
    Bullies ... kids say they received shocking advice
    REX FEATURES
    Picture posed by models

    KIDS being bullied about their sexuality say teachers told them to act "LESS GAY", it was yesterday revealed.

    Other pupils picked on because of their appearance were allegedly told to wear their hair differently to make life easier for themselves.

    The shock claims were made in a report on bullying after a conference for more than 250 teachers and pupils.

    The "Anti Bullying Work" report for Essex County Council also claimed: "Teachers received very little training at college around bullying."

    The National Union of Teachers last night labelled the comments to pupils "inappropriate".

    One 14-year-old, from a school in Westcliff, Essex, said: "I've been bullied and the teachers did not do much about it.

    "It's not that they don't want to help ? they don't know how to."

    The report angered anti-bullying crusaders. Gay rights campaigner Jordan Newell said: "It paints a picture that teachers are not trying to defend pupils. It seems there's a complete lack of understanding of how to tackle bullies."

    But an Essex County Council spokeswoman said: "The council takes bullying very seriously. It is developing an anti-bullying information pack which will be given to trainee teachers."

     http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3908566/Want-to-beat-those-bullies-Act-less-gay.html

    The Girl is 5. The Boy is 2. The Dog is 1.

    image image

    I am the 99%.
  • image majorwife:

    i don't think a bottle a baby makes. this kid could still be on the boob. ;)

    listen, the world is a cold, harsh, mean place. i don't blame his folks one bit for wanting to shelter him and allow this child to be a child still. we all grow up way too fast these days and there is nothing wrong with not acting a certain way. 

    i think his folks should teach him to nutpunch and tell everyone to f off and be confident in himself but also tell him it will be hard when the parents of the bullies think he is being a baby.

    but i am probably raising sissies too.

    Broken Heart 

    The Girl is 5. The Boy is 2. The Dog is 1.

    image image

    I am the 99%.
  • When I was 13, I was all of 70 pounds.  I'm laughing at the mental image of me standing up for myself by offering to fight someone easily twice my size.  There were 3rd graders bigger than I.
    image
  • I disagree with the notion that teaching children age-appropriate strategies for self-defense against those who would mistreat them is somehow expecting them to be the ones completely responsible against bullies. I feel as though this attitude is akin to saying that women shouldn't stand up to men who would sexually harass them in the workplace because "the men shouldn't be doing it in the first place." No, they certainly shouldn't. However, if someone DOES, I would absolutely want my own daughter to know that the first step is to let the offender know that is absolutely not okay for him to do this, and the second step is to go to HR.

    The same principle can be applied to children.Anybody who has worked in education knows that bullying is organic, and the best treatment against it is a multi-faceted approach that both targets bullies' bad behavior and the expectations of the rest of the class. Teaching children that it is, in fact, NOT okay for others to treat them this way is the first step in even having them feel empowered enough to come to adults should this happen, since much bullying is done on the sly and away from the eyes of adults. The adult responsibility part is in both the education and vigilance--kids need to know that reports of bullying will be taken seriously by faculty and addressed. 

    I am serious...and don't call me Shirley.
  • image dontcallmeshirley:

    I disagree with the notion that teaching children age-appropriate strategies for self-defense against those who would mistreat them is somehow expecting them to be the ones completely responsible against bullies. I feel as though this attitude is akin to saying that women shouldn't stand up to men who would sexually harass them in the workplace because "the men shouldn't be doing it in the first place." No, they certainly shouldn't. However, if someone DOES, I would absolutely want my own daughter to know that the first step is to let the offender know that is absolutely not okay for him to do this, and the second step is to go to HR.

    The same principle can be applied to children.Anybody who has worked in education knows that bullying is organic, and the best treatment against it is a multi-faceted approach that both targets bullies' bad behavior and the expectations of the rest of the class. Teaching children that it is, in fact, NOT okay for others to treat them this way is the first step in even having them feel empowered enough to come to adults should this happen, since much bullying is done on the sly and away from the eyes of adults. The adult responsibility part is in both the education and vigilance--kids need to know that reports of bullying will be taken seriously by faculty and addressed. 

     

    Yes 

  • image dontcallmeshirley:

    I disagree with the notion that teaching children age-appropriate strategies for self-defense against those who would mistreat them is somehow expecting them to be the ones completely responsible against bullies. I feel as though this attitude is akin to saying that women shouldn't stand up to men who would sexually harass them in the workplace because "the men shouldn't be doing it in the first place." No, they certainly shouldn't. However, if someone DOES, I would absolutely want my own daughter to know that the first step is to let the offender know that is absolutely not okay for him to do this, and the second step is to go to HR.

    The same principle can be applied to children.Anybody who has worked in education knows that bullying is organic, and the best treatment against it is a multi-faceted approach that both targets bullies' bad behavior and the expectations of the rest of the class. Teaching children that it is, in fact, NOT okay for others to treat them this way is the first step in even having them feel empowered enough to come to adults should this happen, since much bullying is done on the sly and away from the eyes of adults. The adult responsibility part is in both the education and vigilance--kids need to know that reports of bullying will be taken seriously by faculty and addressed. 

    Completely agree.  That's why I was especially bothered by the attitude in this thread of calling a kid that is frequently picked on a 'whiner' or 'tattler' for seemingly bringing it to the attention of adults.

  • I really didn't even want to comment in this thread, but I can't keep my yapper shut.

    Violence begets violence.  End of story.  You may be able to roundhouse your way out of a particular situation but I guarantee you there will eventually be a situation to be had from the roundhouse incident that you CAN'T get yourself out of.  Real bullies aren't going to walk away and say to themselves "wow I sure learned my lesson" getting humiliated is a sure fire way for them to find a bigger and better way to get to their target.

    Bullies aren't content to just move on to another target.  It's a power trip, it's a high to tear down their victim to ruin.  

    I agree with major, why should I force my child into maturity because of bullying.  Kids age and are forced to age in some instances far before their brain is ready.  Giving them a false security net of being mature when they actually aren't sets them up for a long life of confusion and poor life skills.

    Bulling is a root problem that usually begins in the home of the bully.  Hearing, seeing, being raised with bullying tendencies allows a child to live what they have learned.  So at the root you aren't dealing with a child you are dealing with the parent(s) from which they learned this trait..now I am not saying that some kids don't learn and bully on their own but I will hazard a guess that most of them have learned some of this in their own home.  This makes it hard to simply think that if Sally hits Betty in the nose then the issue is resolved.  

    It is so important that adults intervene immediately, not leaving time for things to escalate.  It is important for kids to feel secure in coming to us, not fearful of thinking that they are a baby or a tattle tail for wanting an end to this.  There are some things that kids can't handle on their own and I firmly believe that bullying it one of those issues.  I am the parent for a reason, it is my responsibility to keep my child safe and allow them an environment to thrive in.  Prematurely aging a child who isn't ready isn't the answer.  

    I am in no way saying that kids can't and shouldn't be allowed to work things out for themselves but there is no doubt that they can't handle true bullying on their own. 

    image
  • I really am confused at this point. I feel like people are arguing completely different things....and in reality, most in here don't disagree. But people seem to think everyone is disagreeing.
  • Question for those who work in schools or are more familiar--when children are identified as bullies, are they ever sent to any sort of psychological counseling?  I really don't see how bullying could be reliably ended without some sort of treatment intervention.  

  • image dontcallmeshirley:

    I disagree with the notion that teaching children age-appropriate strategies for self-defense against those who would mistreat them is somehow expecting them to be the ones completely responsible against bullies. I feel as though this attitude is akin to saying that women shouldn't stand up to men who would sexually harass them in the workplace because "the men shouldn't be doing it in the first place." No, they certainly shouldn't. However, if someone DOES, I would absolutely want my own daughter to know that the first step is to let the offender know that is absolutely not okay for him to do this, and the second step is to go to HR.

    The same principle can be applied to children.Anybody who has worked in education knows that bullying is organic, and the best treatment against it is a multi-faceted approach that both targets bullies' bad behavior and the expectations of the rest of the class. Teaching children that it is, in fact, NOT okay for others to treat them this way is the first step in even having them feel empowered enough to come to adults should this happen, since much bullying is done on the sly and away from the eyes of adults. The adult responsibility part is in both the education and vigilance--kids need to know that reports of bullying will be taken seriously by faculty and addressed. 

    I think the problem I have with this is twofold...

    One... that you're somehow trying to convince kids that standing up to bullies makes it stop. Generally, it doesn't. When I tried to stand up to those bullying me, standing up and saying "no" actually made it worse. Copz hit that one out of the park.

    Two... it's really easy to slide from "giving strategies" to kids who are bullied to blaming them if they don't implement them in the moment, or implement them perfectly... "Oh, if Johnnie only did what he said, Brutus would have stopped!".... then, suddenly and again, it's the victim's fault.

    It needs to be reinforced, every minute when dealing with bullies and victims, that bullying isn't about the victim being fat or skinny or "gay" or nerdy... any more than rape is about sex... it's about a power trip for the bully.

    The Girl is 5. The Boy is 2. The Dog is 1.

    image image

    I am the 99%.
  • image IrishBrideND:
    image majorwife:
    image mominatrix:

    "The victim's never at fault... BUT...  BUT.... BUT..."

     

    Those "but"s are very, very telling.

     

    she shouldnt have been raped but she was drinking and wearing slutty shoes

     

    I never ever blame the victim of rape. This is something else that is personal to me. Trust me. Blame never comes to mind. 

     

    That doesn't mean I won't teach DD safety tips. I don't think "but" is always bad. I can say, Rape is never the victim's fault EVER, but I will teach DD that she shouldn't walk alone at night and that she should make sure she parks in well lit areas." That doesn't at all imply I blame the victim. If something happens (I hate even thinking about it) and it happens while she is walking alone at night it is still not her fault at all.

    My head hurts from this thread. I feel like I'm arguing against both sides. 

    lol...I think you are.

    I definitely see giving strategies to victims as a good thing and I do not see this as blaming the victim at all.  We give special ed students strategies to help them with their reading, math, etc.....are we blaming them for their disability when we do this?

    I do think, however, that we should give these strategies to everyone and not wait for them to first become victims. 

    And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this Rock I will build my Church, and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it.
  • So now I've read the link....does it even mention what these strategies are?
    And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this Rock I will build my Church, and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it.
  • image copzgirl:

    Bulling is a root problem that usually begins in the home of the bully.  Hearing, seeing, being raised with bullying tendencies allows a child to live what they have learned.  So at the root you aren't dealing with a child you are dealing with the parent(s) from which they learned this trait..now I am not saying that some kids don't learn and bully on their own but I will hazard a guess that most of them have learned some of this in their own home.  This makes it hard to simply think that if Sally hits Betty in the nose then the issue is resolved.  

    Just throwing this out there:

    If some kids learn how to bully by watching a bullying parent (like you're saying above), isn't it also possible that some kids learn from the bullied parent by how he/she responds/doesn't respond?

    And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this Rock I will build my Church, and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it.
  • image 2Vermont:
    image copzgirl:

    Bulling is a root problem that usually begins in the home of the bully.  Hearing, seeing, being raised with bullying tendencies allows a child to live what they have learned.  So at the root you aren't dealing with a child you are dealing with the parent(s) from which they learned this trait..now I am not saying that some kids don't learn and bully on their own but I will hazard a guess that most of them have learned some of this in their own home.  This makes it hard to simply think that if Sally hits Betty in the nose then the issue is resolved.  

    Just throwing this out there:

    If some kids learn how to bully by watching a bullying parent (like you're saying above), isn't it also possible that some kids learn from the bullied parent by how he/she responds/doesn't respond?

    just how many victims are we going to blame here?

    The Girl is 5. The Boy is 2. The Dog is 1.

    image image

    I am the 99%.
  • But I think you're missing the crux of what I'm saying. Successful anti bullying programs target everyone, not just those directly involved. Telling bystanders that they are also responsible for preventing bullying lets kids know that it is the community's job to look out for one another. Look, you're always going to have some Schools with lazy administration who will only focus on victims. That is completely irresponsible, cruel, and ineffective. However, that doesn't negate the effectiveness of the whole school strategies outlined above. 
    I am serious...and don't call me Shirley.
  • image dontcallmeshirley:
    But I think you're missing the crux of what I'm saying. Successful anti bullying programs target everyone, not just those directly involved. Telling bystanders that they are also responsible for preventing bullying lets kids know that it is the community's job to look out for one another. Look, you're always going to have some Schools with lazy administration who will only focus on victims. That is completely irresponsible, cruel, and ineffective. However, that doesn't negate the effectiveness of the whole school strategies outlined above. 

    Oh, I agree on whole school strategies.

    IMHO, the only truly effective way for bullying to be eradicated is to have other kids actively shun bullies.You don't get to be "cooler" by bullying... but it should actually put you at the bottom of the social ladder.

    ...but, as we know from adult politics, fear is a great motivator. Adults respond to fear, so how do we expect kids to not respond to fear. The big bad bully is only big and bad if you are on the "outside"... kwim?

    The Girl is 5. The Boy is 2. The Dog is 1.

    image image

    I am the 99%.
  • image mominatrix:
    image 2Vermont:
    image copzgirl:

    Bulling is a root problem that usually begins in the home of the bully.  Hearing, seeing, being raised with bullying tendencies allows a child to live what they have learned.  So at the root you aren't dealing with a child you are dealing with the parent(s) from which they learned this trait..now I am not saying that some kids don't learn and bully on their own but I will hazard a guess that most of them have learned some of this in their own home.  This makes it hard to simply think that if Sally hits Betty in the nose then the issue is resolved.  

    Just throwing this out there:

    If some kids learn how to bully by watching a bullying parent (like you're saying above), isn't it also possible that some kids learn from the bullied parent by how he/she responds/doesn't respond?

    just how many victims are we going to blame here?

    My point is that some people do not have strategies to deal with bullies....and sometimes that is probably learned in the home as well. 

    Why are some so upset with empowering kids to help them fight off bullies?  Just fro the sake of proving it's all the bullies fault?  This seems so unproductive. 

    And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this Rock I will build my Church, and the gates of Hell shall not prevail against it.
  • image dontcallmeshirley:
    But I think you're missing the crux of what I'm saying. Successful anti bullying programs target everyone, not just those directly involved. Telling bystanders that they are also responsible for preventing bullying lets kids know that it is the community's job to look out for one another. Look, you're always going to have some Schools with lazy administration who will only focus on victims. That is completely irresponsible, cruel, and ineffective. However, that doesn't negate the effectiveness of the whole school strategies outlined above. 

    I think this is what I agree with - to actually end bullying or prevent it, the strategy needs to address everyone, including bystanders.  I don't think that's blaming the victim.  Or the bystanders.  It's just what will be effective in ending it, which is what is most important.

    I think about that a lot with my own kids.  I don't so much worry about them being bullied or being a bully, but I really do think it's important that I instill in them that bullying is wrong and that they need to stand up for others, as well.  I guess I just think that part of the big problem with bullying is that so many people just look the other way. 

    Anyway, with bullying, there is no one answer to end it that works in every situation, which is why I think equipping everyone with various strategies is a good idea. 

    Jackson Henry [10*1*06] & Scarlett Maeve [9*16*10]

    imageimage
    image
  • image 2Vermont:
    image IrishBrideND:
    image majorwife:
    image mominatrix:

    "The victim's never at fault... BUT...  BUT.... BUT..."

     

    Those "but"s are very, very telling.

     

    she shouldnt have been raped but she was drinking and wearing slutty shoes

     

    I never ever blame the victim of rape. This is something else that is personal to me. Trust me. Blame never comes to mind. 

     

    That doesn't mean I won't teach DD safety tips. I don't think "but" is always bad. I can say, Rape is never the victim's fault EVER, but I will teach DD that she shouldn't walk alone at night and that she should make sure she parks in well lit areas." That doesn't at all imply I blame the victim. If something happens (I hate even thinking about it) and it happens while she is walking alone at night it is still not her fault at all.

    My head hurts from this thread. I feel like I'm arguing against both sides. 

    lol...I think you are.

    I definitely see giving strategies to victims as a good thing and I do not see this as blaming the victim at all.  We give special ed students strategies to help them with their reading, math, etc.....are we blaming them for their disability when we do this?

    I do think, however, that we should give these strategies to everyone and not wait for them to first become victims. 

    IrishBride, reading this thread I am pretty sure you are :) But I agree with everything you said.

    At my school we take bullying on in multiple ways. We teach students what bullying is and is not, we teach students to tell the closest adult if they are being bullied because the only way an adult can help is if they know about it. We teach students that by standers hold so much power, they can make the problem worse or they can be part of the solution. Sometimes a by-stander might feel safe enough to tell a bully to stop and then go tell a teacher, sometimes a by-stander might not feel safe and would just tell a teacher right away. We take bullying very seriously but it is of the utmost importance to me that my students know how to identify bullying and know what to do. I couldn't imagine not teaching them these things because it might be considered "blaming the vicitim." 

    We teach the reasons students bully and talk about how bullying decreases when it is reported.

    Then, if it is reported that a student is showing bullying behaviors on the playground they do special group things with our councelor until she feels they are ready to be back on the playground. I would like to see more parent education in this because much of the time, at my school, they are part of the problem. They see their child's bullying behaviors as toughness.

    I am currently on a committee that is writing a bullying curriculum for grades k-3, so those of you who think teaching strategies to students to deal with bullying is blaming the victim, what would you like to see in such a curriculum?

    November is CRPS/RSD Awareness month! Please feel free to ask me about CRPS.
  • image 2Vermont:

    Why are some so upset with empowering kids to help them fight off bullies?  Just fro the sake of proving it's all the bullies fault?  This seems so unproductive. 

    I'm upset because "empowering" kids to "fight off" bullies quickly turns into blaming them if they don't fight them off well.

    ...and, I agree wholeheartedly with copz's post... trying to "fight off" a bully just gets them charged up to bully more, and more intensely.

     

    I spent years being bullied, in an era when there was a complete lack of support and understanding around bullying... what I got was that it would go away if I acted "more normal", or if I "stood up for" myself, or it was just "kids being kids" and I should sack up and take it.

    There was pretty much no conversation about how the person (people) who bullied me were deeply flawed, and at fault. They were just "being kids", and I was at fault for being such an easy target, and for not standing up for myself (because they pick an easy victim, don't you know). Of course, when I did stand up for myself the bullying got worse, and I got in trouble for arguing or being violent at school. 

    IMHO, it's lazy. The teachers and administrators in that era simply let it happen and figured we'd all sort it out. They saw stuff happen right in front of them and didn't lift a figure to help.

    ...it's far far too easy to go back to that kind of thinking. Let the kids sort it out, it's what builds character, it's how they learn, etc etc.

    ....so sosososososo dangerous!

    The Girl is 5. The Boy is 2. The Dog is 1.

    image image

    I am the 99%.
  • My bullying experience has been beaten to death on this board, but I want to contribute anyway.

    The reality is that a young victim of bullying NEEDS an adult to step in for them at some point. I never got physical with my bully but I did verbally fight back and it got me nowhere. She thought it was a fun challenge. My principal told my mom that I was a big girl and needed to learn to fight my own battles. Yeah, to a point. But don't don't spew that crap just because you simply don't want to deal with the situation, which was absolutely the case.

    The pp who said that a bully is not content to move onto the next victim is absolutely right. Bullies invest a lot of energy figuring out the weak spots of their victims, and they are "comfortable" bullying that person. 

    I wasn't a wuss, I was just a kind kid who never felt comfortable being as mean or violent as I "needed" to be. And in retrospect, as an adult, I'm happy about that. I would have hated for that experience to turn me into someone that I'm not.

    The only thing that stopped my bully after years of abuse was an adult who finally really laid it down. (My junior high principal.) He meant business, and it scared the crap out of my bully and her parents, and it stopped cold turkey. 

    Oh, and the other pp was also correct in saying that bullying begins at home. Her mother is a HUGE b!tch who probably emotionally abused her. 

    "Get your facts first. Then you can distort them as you please." ~ Mark Twain
  • image Sibil:
    When I was 13, I was all of 70 pounds.  I'm laughing at the mental image of me standing up for myself by offering to fight someone easily twice my size.  There were 3rd graders bigger than I.

    Right there with you, Sibil.  I'm trying to laugh at the image of 75 lb, <5' tall me telling my bullies that I wanted to fight them, but I just can't.  The notion that I was suposed to stand up to the people who were bullying me (by threatening physical violence???) instead of teachers and parents teaching other students that bullying was not acceptable and would not be tolerated is patently absurd.

     

  • image mominatrix:

    image dontcallmeshirley:
    But I think you're missing the crux of what I'm saying. Successful anti bullying programs target everyone, not just those directly involved. Telling bystanders that they are also responsible for preventing bullying lets kids know that it is the community's job to look out for one another. Look, you're always going to have some Schools with lazy administration who will only focus on victims. That is completely irresponsible, cruel, and ineffective. However, that doesn't negate the effectiveness of the whole school strategies outlined above. 

    Oh, I agree on whole school strategies.

    IMHO, the only truly effective way for bullying to be eradicated is to have other kids actively shun bullies.You don't get to be "cooler" by bullying... but it should actually put you at the bottom of the social ladder.

    ...but, as we know from adult politics, fear is a great motivator. Adults respond to fear, so how do we expect kids to not respond to fear. The big bad bully is only big and bad if you are on the "outside"... kwim?

    I fully agree with you about the social ladder piece. This is why preventative education involving the entire student body is key. One kid alone cannot stop a bully or group. However, many kids deciding that their environment is supportive enough for them to be able to say "absolutely not" to bad behavior and tell an adult is the key. Again, it has to happen both ways--kids need to be able to recognize what it looks like and have strategies, and adults need to enforce actual standards of good behavior and respect.  

    I am serious...and don't call me Shirley.
  • image IrishBrideND:
    We ready do that. I think that's always been the main focus. It's easier than fixing the bullies.
    No, we don't. If we did, kids and their parents would be supported instead of punished for defending themselves.
    image

    image
  • image JulieFe:

    I could see this being helpful.  There's one girl at our school who is frequently picked on, and she doesn't help the situation by constantly whining, tattling, complaining, being upset when people don't want to work with her... she creates fake drama by saying "they took my notebook" when really she lost her notebook but wants to make herself the center of attention.  She also jumps at people---like literally jumping into their space. It's weird.


     

    This attitude is a huge part of the problem. Frequently, victims don't report harrassment because they know they'll be labeled "whiners" "tattlers" or "complainers".  And then we wonder why ongoing bullying isn't known until some tragic outcome occurs.

     

    image

    image
  • image SunMoon&Stars:
    image JulieFe:

    I could see this being helpful.  There's one girl at our school who is frequently picked on, and she doesn't help the situation by constantly whining, tattling, complaining, being upset when people don't want to work with her... she creates fake drama by saying "they took my notebook" when really she lost her notebook but wants to make herself the center of attention.  She also jumps at people---like literally jumping into their space. It's weird.


     

    This attitude is a huge part of the problem. Frequently, victims don't report harrassment because they know they'll be labeled "whiners" "tattlers" or "complainers".  And then we wonder why ongoing bullying isn't known until some tragic outcome occurs.

     

    IDK, some kids are whiny tattlers, and they're annoying.  Not that they deserve bullying, but I can see an educator noticing that those characteristics contribute to her not being liked.  If I don't want to spend time with people like that, why would a middle schooler?
    image
  • image Sibil:
    image SunMoon&Stars:
    image JulieFe:

    I could see this being helpful.  There's one girl at our school who is frequently picked on, and she doesn't help the situation by constantly whining, tattling, complaining, being upset when people don't want to work with her... she creates fake drama by saying "they took my notebook" when really she lost her notebook but wants to make herself the center of attention.  She also jumps at people---like literally jumping into their space. It's weird.


     

    This attitude is a huge part of the problem. Frequently, victims don't report harrassment because they know they'll be labeled "whiners" "tattlers" or "complainers".  And then we wonder why ongoing bullying isn't known until some tragic outcome occurs.

     

    IDK, some kids are whiny tattlers, and they're annoying.  Not that they deserve bullying, but I can see an educator noticing that those characteristics contribute to her not being liked.  If I don't want to spend time with people like that, why would a middle schooler?

    It's not about whether or nor one wants to spend time with "people like that". One don't want to hang around a particular person - fine, then one doesn't have to. Doesn't give them the right to bully.

    image

    image
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards