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I am so mad at TSG! (sp)

I finally got some time between school work to read last night so I got back into The Summer Garden. I got a big chunk read, but then became so angry at it when Alexander started cheating on Tatiana! WTF. After all they've been through, he's going to go out and do all those things with that skank?? They've made it through so much and have always been madly in love with each other. And he barely had a second thought about it - just jumped in her backseat beggging her for sex. Granted Tatiana works a lot, but what does he expect when he's always so demanding of her. She still does EVERYTHING for him - cook, clean, take care of Anthony. She also gives him sex any time he wants it - a lot, so he shouldn't have to run somewhere else for it.

I had to throw the book down last night it was making me so mad. TSG and I are having a major fight. I don't know if I even want to finish it if it's going to continue like that. I want to punch Alexander and my heart will break when she finds out (which I'm guessing will happen). Ok, rant over.

 

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Re: I am so mad at TSG! (sp)

  • I felt the same way, and this book took me for-ev-er to get through because I kept having to put it down and pull out my hair, I was so mad.  I know this was the '50s (or maybe '60s at that point) but either way, a different time period and so a different attitude towards women and working... but still.  She's basically his maid and does whatever he wants and that's still not enough.  TSG was my least favorite of the three books.
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  • That part pissed me off too.  I was also annoyed that when she had issues with his job he didn't listen to her and when he had issues with her job she didn't listen to him.  Keep going! 

     

  • I think there was more to it than just Tatiana working.  I don't think Alexander would have minded Tatiana working, he just didn't want her working in the hospital because he wanted them to start a new life together and not dwell on their 'old' life.  They needed to make a new start in America and leave the war behind them forever, but with Tatitana working in the hospital, I feel that Alexander felt that she didn't want to start over with him and that she was reluctant to let go of the past and that is why I think he did the things he did.
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    imageimageimage NESTIE FORMERLY KNOWN AS BOONEYBEAR. Stooooopid nest.
  • image coughing hairballs:
    I think there was more to it than just Tatiana working.  I don't think Alexander would have minded Tatiana working, he just didn't want her working in the hospital because he wanted them to start a new life together and not dwell on their 'old' life.  They needed to make a new start in America and leave the war behind them forever, but with Tatitana working in the hospital, I feel that Alexander felt that she didn't want to start over with him and that she was reluctant to let go of the past and that is why I think he did the things he did.

    I guess I see that point, but working as a nurse is what Tatiana loves. She thrives off of helping people (including him!), so on the other side, wouldn't you think he'd want what makes her happy since he loves her so much?

     

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  • image brittk0486:

    image coughing hairballs:
    I think there was more to it than just Tatiana working.  I don't think Alexander would have minded Tatiana working, he just didn't want her working in the hospital because he wanted them to start a new life together and not dwell on their 'old' life.  They needed to make a new start in America and leave the war behind them forever, but with Tatitana working in the hospital, I feel that Alexander felt that she didn't want to start over with him and that she was reluctant to let go of the past and that is why I think he did the things he did.

    I guess I see that point, but working as a nurse is what Tatiana loves. She thrives off of helping people (including him!), so on the other side, wouldn't you think he'd want what makes her happy since he loves her so much?

    I don't think that Alexander can see it that way though.  He was so damaged by the war, and I think he is trying to get that across to Tatiana and he feels that by her going back into nursing is her way of betraying him. 

    At least that is what I got out of it.  I just think that they both sucked at communication because they were so used to be torn apart by the war that the few times they had together were so "honeymoon-esq" that they never learned how to communicate.  And then suddenly they were together all the time with no war to tear them apart and they didn't know how to be with each other.  (I like to think of it as 'The Bachelor' TV show syndrome).   

     

     

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    imageimageimage NESTIE FORMERLY KNOWN AS BOONEYBEAR. Stooooopid nest.
  • Brit- I'm glad I reread your post, because I typed up a response with a HUGE spoiler and then I realized you hadn't gotten there yet.  Let's chat once you get a little bit farther into the book, ok?

    I was sick over reading that part.  It made me so unbelievably sad. 

    I do agree with Booney on some of the things that led up to his cheating. Alexander wanted to leave behind their past life because they both suffered so much in it.  I think he really wanted to take care of Tatiana and provide for her and her insistance of continuing to work as a nurse just put so many bad memories on repeat for him.  I'm not blaming Tatiana at all, so don't think that's what I'm saying, I just did a lot of thinking about the situation to try to understand it better. 

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  • I was so mad when I read this part of the book that slammed it shut and didn't pick it up for a couple days.  I don't feel like there is ever an excuse for cheating and I loved Alexander so much....he let me down.  I was also a little pi$$ed at Paullina Simons for going that route.
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  • This part of the book really killed me, too. I was so hurt for both of them. I understood why Tatiana wanted to be a nurse, but I felt like if my husband couldn't deal with my career because it reminded him too much of such a horrible past, I would let it go. My marriage comes first. And I think what this book does so well is show us what a real marriage is like. It's not always sunshine and roses and pink unicorns. There is heartache and miscommunication and stupid mistakes, but that doesn't mean the love isn't there, or that you can't come back from it.

    Don't give up! This book was absolutely agonizing to get through, but I'm so glad I did. I felt like I'd lived a whole other life when I'd finished.

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  • image EliStar:

    This part of the book really killed me, too. I was so hurt for both of them. I understood why Tatiana wanted to be a nurse, but I felt like if my husband couldn't deal with my career because it reminded him too much of such a horrible past, I would let it go. My marriage comes first. And I think what this book does so well is show us what a real marriage is like. It's not always sunshine and roses and pink unicorns. There is heartache and miscommunication and stupid mistakes, but that doesn't mean the love isn't there, or that you can't come back from it.

    Don't give up! This book was absolutely agonizing to get through, but I'm so glad I did. I felt like I'd lived a whole other life when I'd finished.

    This, this, this. 

    Tatiana does a horrible job of communicating to Alexander the importance of her job to her, and frankly completely ignores how much it torments him.  From his perspective, it looks like she just doesn't give a *** about how he feels. 

    Is that an excuse for cheating?  NO.  But I was definitely just as mad at Tatiana throughout this whole part as I was Alexander.  In some ways, a meaningless, drunken blow job with some skank can be less hurtful then being ignored and abandoned, which is what A felt she was doing to him.  One is physical, the other emotional - they were both hurting each other.

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  • image 84Lauren:
    image EliStar:

    This part of the book really killed me, too. I was so hurt for both of them. I understood why Tatiana wanted to be a nurse, but I felt like if my husband couldn't deal with my career because it reminded him too much of such a horrible past, I would let it go. My marriage comes first. And I think what this book does so well is show us what a real marriage is like. It's not always sunshine and roses and pink unicorns. There is heartache and miscommunication and stupid mistakes, but that doesn't mean the love isn't there, or that you can't come back from it.

    Don't give up! This book was absolutely agonizing to get through, but I'm so glad I did. I felt like I'd lived a whole other life when I'd finished.

    This, this, this. 

    Tatiana does a horrible job of communicating to Alexander the importance of her job to her, and frankly completely ignores how much it torments him.  From his perspective, it looks like she just doesn't give a *** about how he feels. 

    Is that an excuse for cheating?  NO.  But I was definitely just as mad at Tatiana throughout this whole part as I was Alexander.  In some ways, a meaningless, drunken blow job with some skank can be less hurtful then being ignored and abandoned, which is what A felt she was doing to him.  One is physical, the other emotional - they were both hurting each other.

    Yes, yes, yes.  They were both guilty of hurting their marriage in different ways.  There was a serious lack of communication on both parts.

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  • image packfan20:
    image 84Lauren:
    image EliStar:

    This part of the book really killed me, too. I was so hurt for both of them. I understood why Tatiana wanted to be a nurse, but I felt like if my husband couldn't deal with my career because it reminded him too much of such a horrible past, I would let it go. My marriage comes first. And I think what this book does so well is show us what a real marriage is like. It's not always sunshine and roses and pink unicorns. There is heartache and miscommunication and stupid mistakes, but that doesn't mean the love isn't there, or that you can't come back from it.

    Don't give up! This book was absolutely agonizing to get through, but I'm so glad I did. I felt like I'd lived a whole other life when I'd finished.

    This, this, this. 

    Tatiana does a horrible job of communicating to Alexander the importance of her job to her, and frankly completely ignores how much it torments him.  From his perspective, it looks like she just doesn't give a *** about how he feels. 

    Is that an excuse for cheating?  NO.  But I was definitely just as mad at Tatiana throughout this whole part as I was Alexander.  In some ways, a meaningless, drunken blow job with some skank can be less hurtful then being ignored and abandoned, which is what A felt she was doing to him.  One is physical, the other emotional - they were both hurting each other.

    Yes, yes, yes.  They were both guilty of hurting their marriage in different ways.  There was a serious lack of communication on both parts.

    Good points everyone. I guess I just got so mad when I read it because I just hate cheating so much that I just automatically wanted to blame Alexander for doing that. I do agree that communication seems to be a huge problem for both of them. I do see the point that the other times they were together during war they were in their honeymoon/lovey-dovey stage where they couldn't get enough of each other. Now they are in the real world, with real life situations and a child that they have to manage, which we all know is stressful enough. Add that to the stress they were already carrying regarding the war - it does make it easier to see how and why their relationship changed so much.

     

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