Starting Over
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Anyone here widowed?

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Re: Anyone here widowed?

  • I'm not a widow, but I live with a widower, my SO. His wife died 4 years ago this coming October. I've known him for 6 years and saw up close his grieving over her. The start of our relationship was not typical. Not rocky, but a rough start with the back and forth trending never mind we both knew we had a strong bond that was underlying all that confusion and were already close friends. (I had gotten a divorce the year before) Gosh, that was no fun. Yet, we grew closer as time slowly went by and now about nearly two years from the time we officially started seeing each other privately, we are thriving and actually getting married next fall. 

    Just a random note that was a bit of tension between us. He would say he didn't have a choice, while I made the choice. Ultimately, I had NO other choice but to let go of my marriage while he let his wife go off the machines. I grieved over the failure of my marriage and it left me some emotional scars yet he would tell me I didn't know what it was like losing someone. True, but the grief between a widow(er) and a divorce(r) is parallel but with its own definition of grief that doesn't cross over one another. Can't compare, but is similar with the same 5 different stages.

    Don't hate me now, but I swear, you will find joy once again. My SO did, he was so sure he was going to be miserable forever and never find someone who was half as good as her. But he did one day. It took him 2 years to get out of the fog, the 3rd year with that back and forth trending, now he realizes there is more to life and couldn't be more thrilled to have two lucky loves. While I am HERE, she is always a part of us. One day at a time.

    Again, my condolences. 

  • SaraDFSaraDF
    First Comment
    member
    I was widowed two months ago, after 8 months of marriage.  I am 27.  How are you doing?  I see that you started this a few years ago.  I too was hoping to find a few other young widows on the site. 
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