I've posted on here before about my dad. He lives w/my pap, doesn't pay any bills and lives life carefree. My mom divorced him 10+ years ago and I haven't seen/talked to her since. It's a long, messy mess. The only thing my entire life that I feel my dad & I have had in common is my mom leaving our family, although, I don't feel that he was/has "been there" for me in any way. I feel that he leans on both me & my older brother for his support & doesn't give any back. He has no plans for retirement, no savings and lives the lifestyle of a teenager only caring about himself. I wouldn't go as far as to call him an alcoholic, but he is definitely a problem drinker. He is a pathological liar and I don't trust him.
There is a long history of anger that I have with him...and I just don't know how & if I can ever get past that. He has done a lot to hurt me. There is not 1 conversation in which him & I can speak w/o fighting. He doesn't ask about me or DH or our lives, only talks about himself and doesn't listen when I do tell him things. He doesn't respect my requests and/or boundaries and just does/acts how he wants. He has no consideration for others. It's just so hard because essentially, he's the only "parent" that I have left...eventhough I wouldn't really qualify him as one.
I know for my own mental health, that I need distance from him. I don't know why I feel this loyalty & obligation to him...I can't break away...but I think I need to. Any advice on how to do this? With my mother is was not really my choice, therefore, I can't follow similar tactics. I realize this will be more difficult with my dad because he would not want this...but, I also know he will never change. I still love him as my dad, but I don't like him as a person.
He tries to act like things are fine & always wants to tell stories (that are pointless & that everyone has heard a million times) and make jokes. He can never just be "real" & discuss real life topics. When things get too heavy, he leaves/hangs up the phone. Whenever I try to tell him how I feel, he just writes it off as saying "I'm in a bad mood" or he tells me how I am feeling...rather than listening to me. He really believes his own lies too...I don't know if he's delusional or has lost it or what.
::sigh:: any advice welcome...