Dallas-Fort Worth Nesties
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SA Wednesday

24

Re: SA Wednesday

  • image lesalyric:

    Oh, I forgot, I was going to ask you girls your opinions on this:

    If you reconciled with DH after he was not faithful to you would you feel justified in cutting off all contact with other women, even if the woman in question was a married friend of his that had been friends with him before you even met him? 

    ETA: #1 - I am neither woman in this situation and #2 the female friend is not the person he was unfaithful with.

    Ok so first let me make sure I understand fully...(for example) DH cheated on me with girl A.  I tell him I don't want him speaking to any other girls, including girl B who he has been friends with since before we met and is married?  Is that right?

    I think there is a little justification for not speaking with other girls because you have to build your trust back up but I don't think it can be the only solution.  I had this happen to me kinda actually.  My boyfriend in college cheated on me.  I was so upset I told him I wanted him to erase all the girls from his cell phone except his mom, his sister and his best friend since childhood.  In my head I justified it with, well they had been friends for so many years already and never fell for each other I don't think it would change now. 

    I think that some guys and girls can really just be friends.  2 of my best friends are guys that I have never had any kind of feelings for them except friendship.  We all worked together and they have been there for me through some pretty tough times and I've been there for them.  One of them is married and his wife and I get along great.  DH loves them both and actually golfs with them on a monthly basis.  I think it depends on a lot of things whether you can tell him who to be friends with even after he cheats.

    That was a really long winded answer.  SORRY!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image lesalyric:

    Oh, I forgot, I was going to ask you girls your opinions on this:

    If you reconciled with DH after he was not faithful to you would you feel justified in cutting off all contact with other women, even if the woman in question was a married friend of his that had been friends with him before you even met him? 

    ETA: #1 - I am neither woman in this situation and #2 the female friend is not the person he was unfaithful with.

    I think its justified that he should not speak with the women he cheated however not with all other women.  If you have truly moved on and trust him then this shouldnt be an issue and if you havent moved on and trust him then seek counseling.

  • image serlace:

    Are said couple in therapy?  If so, what does the therapist say?

    No idea on the therapy.

    Dana - Yes, you understand the situation correctly.

    [IMG]http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/lesalyric/15349_591037319564_25305541_34753593_3721279_n-1.jpg[/IMG]

    TTC#1 since 1/2011

    1/2012: Fertility workup including SA/HSG - no issues. DX: Unexplained

    IUI#1 = BFN 7/2012

    IUI#2 = BFN 8/2012

    IVF#1 = BFP - ER 12/6, ET 12/11 - 20R, 15M, 14F - 2 transferred, 2 frozen

    Betas: #1(9dp5dt)-50, #2(13dp5dt)-467, #3(16dp5dt)-839, #4(20dp5dt)-1825

    Saw HB - 7w1d, missed m/c - 9w1d

    PAIF/SAIF Welcome
  • image Tiffany618:
    image lesalyric:

    Oh, I forgot, I was going to ask you girls your opinions on this:

    If you reconciled with DH after he was not faithful to you would you feel justified in cutting off all contact with other women, even if the woman in question was a married friend of his that had been friends with him before you even met him? 

    ETA: #1 - I am neither woman in this situation and #2 the female friend is not the person he was unfaithful with.

    I would say no, that's not justified at all.   Cutting off his contact with all women is not a solution... it means you haven't truly reconciled because you don't trust him. 

    I realize trust will be very difficult after something like that, but they need to get counseling and work through it.  

    I have to agree with this! It's all about trust and it takes a lot to repair it, but I don't think cutting off communcation with the opposite sex is going to solve it.

     Edit: Can I get a few Knottie Vibes/prayers for an interview I'm going on tomorrow. It's for the supervisor positon of what I'm doing currently. I'll have two interviews tomorrow and one next week. I'm hoping this will be my break.

  • image lesalyric:

    Oh, I forgot, I was going to ask you girls your opinions on this:

    If you reconciled with DH after he was not faithful to you would you feel justified in cutting off all contact with other women, even if the woman in question was a married friend of his that had been friends with him before you even met him? 

    ETA: #1 - I am neither woman in this situation and #2 the female friend is not the person he was unfaithful with.

    I'm with everyone else, coming from a place of DEEP understanding on the issue. Reconciliation means moving on. Cheating is horrible and hurtful, but can also really and truly be a mistake you can recover from. Sometimes the most painful situation in the world can be a microscope over a relationship that allows you to fix what's broken on all sides, and come away with a better understanding of yourself and your partner. If you "recover" from an affair by putting your partner in a cage, then chances are, the feelings that led to the affair are only going to grow.

    imageimg
  • If she is telling her DH you can never talk to another woman ever again, that's a problem.  Yes, the trust has to be rebuilt, but that is not how it is done.
  • I agree that you can't have him cut off from all women.  The one he cheated with?  Absolutely.  However, he's got a job.  He's going to meet women in the workplace.  He's also going to need their phone numbers sometimes to get work done.  I do agree though that they need some therapy. 

     

  • image lesalyric:

    From reading the Shredhead blogs, the couple on that blog literally did 30 DS and a healthy diet. The people on My Fitness Pal all claim they only did 30 DS and the girl in the first link had lost 20 pounds prior to 30 DS with diet only and then decided to do 30 DS. She finished 30 DS and moved to C25k, so it seems like she was kind of a workout novice.

    We are alternating 30 DS with running for 6 days a week total workout, so we'll see what kind of results I get. The shred will probably take us closer to 60 because of that. I will take before pics and maybe I will have the guts to post them here afterward.

    Are you on MFP? 

  • image DFWIndian:

     Edit: Can I get a few Knottie Vibes/prayers for an interview I'm going on tomorrow. It's for the supervisor positon of what I'm doing currently. I'll have two interviews tomorrow and one next week. I'm hoping this will be my break.

    Well, you'll have to ask The Knotties for that.  But, I am sending you Nestie vibes!  :)

  • Deepthi - Vibes headed your way!

     

    I have a song stuck in my head that MIGHT just drive me crazy.

  • Deepthi - lots of vibes your way.  :)
  • image bsn1752:
    image DFWIndian:

     Edit: Can I get a few Knottie Vibes/prayers for an interview I'm going on tomorrow. It's for the supervisor positon of what I'm doing currently. I'll have two interviews tomorrow and one next week. I'm hoping this will be my break.

    Well, you'll have to ask The Knotties for that.  But, I am sending you Nestie vibes!  :)

     Still getting use to the transition. I have to make a concious effort to write DH instead of FI. Thank you girls!

     Tiffany what song is it?

  • Deepthi, Lots of positive vibes your way.
  • I will finish The Book Thief at lunch today!  I can't wait for the book club discussion. 
  • Sara - I finished the Book Thief today, too.

    Deepthi - It is that stupid "Tonight, Tonight" song...by Hot Chelle Rae .. I only know the first part of the chorus and I swear its playing like a broken record in my mind.

  • image Tiffany618:

    Sara - I finished the Book Thief today, too.

    Deepthi - It is that stupid "Tonight, Tonight" song...by Hot Chelle Rae .. I only know the first part of the chorus and I swear its playing like a broken record in my mind.

    That song's stuck in my head, too ... for like the past week. Only for me, it's the part: "I woke up with a strange tattoo / Not sure how I got it, not a dollar in my pocket / But it kinda looks just like you / Mixed with Zach Galifianakis."

    Especially the "Galifianakis" part. I actually sang it out loud a couple times this weekend, it was so persistent in my head. DH, who doesn't listen to pop music, probably thinks I'm crazy.

  • Has everyone finished the book thief?

  • I just found this in my hair while in the car. The sun light hit it just right.

    image

    At first I was like AHHHHHH! I am 25?!? But now I am kind of whatever about it. I'm trying to be a mom, mom's have grey hair, it happens! Smile

    Deepthi - Juju your way!

    I have had two songs stuck in my head - Benny Benassi's "Cinema" which I sang last night while I danced around my bedroom "You are a cinema, I could watch you forever..." and the slow part of Jason Aldean's Dirt Road Anthem -- "Smoke blowing out the window..."

    [IMG]http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/lesalyric/15349_591037319564_25305541_34753593_3721279_n-1.jpg[/IMG]

    TTC#1 since 1/2011

    1/2012: Fertility workup including SA/HSG - no issues. DX: Unexplained

    IUI#1 = BFN 7/2012

    IUI#2 = BFN 8/2012

    IVF#1 = BFP - ER 12/6, ET 12/11 - 20R, 15M, 14F - 2 transferred, 2 frozen

    Betas: #1(9dp5dt)-50, #2(13dp5dt)-467, #3(16dp5dt)-839, #4(20dp5dt)-1825

    Saw HB - 7w1d, missed m/c - 9w1d

    PAIF/SAIF Welcome
  • AHHH! So much snark, so much biting of tongue!
    [IMG]http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/lesalyric/15349_591037319564_25305541_34753593_3721279_n-1.jpg[/IMG]

    TTC#1 since 1/2011

    1/2012: Fertility workup including SA/HSG - no issues. DX: Unexplained

    IUI#1 = BFN 7/2012

    IUI#2 = BFN 8/2012

    IVF#1 = BFP - ER 12/6, ET 12/11 - 20R, 15M, 14F - 2 transferred, 2 frozen

    Betas: #1(9dp5dt)-50, #2(13dp5dt)-467, #3(16dp5dt)-839, #4(20dp5dt)-1825

    Saw HB - 7w1d, missed m/c - 9w1d

    PAIF/SAIF Welcome
  • image serlace:

    Has everyone finished the book thief?

    Definitely not me! I'm not even half way through yet.

  • Ben was asking me last night when book club was--I guess he could see I still have a way to go.  I'm probably only halfway through.
  • Leslie, I have so many gray hairs, I find it to be really distressing actually. And they came on with full force when I was in grad school, when I was 24-27. When my hair starts reflecting light, I know it's time to color again, lol.
  • image lesalyric:
    AHHH! So much snark, so much biting of tongue!

    This, this, a thousand times! 

    I'm not finished with the book either... although I have been reading every night for the last few nights.  I work late, and then get home and scarf dinner down, and I'm not ready to sleep yet, so I read until about midnight, and then I can close my sleepy little eyeballs and get some rest after that.

  • image angieandjames:

    image lesalyric:
    AHHH! So much snark, so much biting of tongue!

    This, this, a thousand times! 

    I'm not finished with the book either... although I have been reading every night for the last few nights.  I work late, and then get home and scarf dinner down, and I'm not ready to sleep yet, so I read until about midnight, and then I can close my sleepy little eyeballs and get some rest after that.

    Maybe going forward we should aim for shorter books to make it easier on everyone who have a lot going on. Henrietta had 360, The Help had 450 and Book Thief has 550.

    I really want to read Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand but since it was mentioned as a possible contender for next book club, I have been holding out. It has nearly 1,400 positive reviews out of 1500, but it is also 500 pages...

    [IMG]http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/lesalyric/15349_591037319564_25305541_34753593_3721279_n-1.jpg[/IMG]

    TTC#1 since 1/2011

    1/2012: Fertility workup including SA/HSG - no issues. DX: Unexplained

    IUI#1 = BFN 7/2012

    IUI#2 = BFN 8/2012

    IVF#1 = BFP - ER 12/6, ET 12/11 - 20R, 15M, 14F - 2 transferred, 2 frozen

    Betas: #1(9dp5dt)-50, #2(13dp5dt)-467, #3(16dp5dt)-839, #4(20dp5dt)-1825

    Saw HB - 7w1d, missed m/c - 9w1d

    PAIF/SAIF Welcome
  • image lesalyric:

    Oh, I forgot, I was going to ask you girls your opinions on this:

    If you reconciled with DH after he was not faithful to you would you feel justified in cutting off all contact with other women, even if the woman in question was a married friend of his that had been friends with him before you even met him? 

    ETA: #1 - I am neither woman in this situation and #2 the female friend is not the person he was unfaithful with.

    Tempted?  Yes.  Justified?  No.  My opinion is similar to Lacey's.

  • I have been a book club loser. I never finished Henrietta, I read The Help but couldn't come to the GTG, and I haven't even though about purchasing The Book Thief. Maybe next time?

    ETA: I don't know if y'all would be interested in reading a memoir, but I really want to read Bossypants by Tina Fey and Jaycee Dugard's book.

  • image lesalyric:
    AHHH! So much snark, so much biting of tongue!

    If I'm picking up what you're putting down... I wasn't even sure what to say.  Hence, the face.

  • Gray Hair:  I started getting gray hair when I was 24.  I dye my hair.  Religiously.  If not, the whole front part of my hair would be gray.  It's crazy.

    Book: I don't mind a long book.  I just like something that catches my attention and is an easy read.  The Help did that.

    Memoir: I would love to read either of those Anna.

    BL: I've been looking for a leadership conference for you and can't find one that isn't specific to my industry.  :(  I'll keep looking.

     

  • image BanannaP:

    I have been a book club loser. I never finished Henrietta, I read The Help but couldn't come to the GTG, and I haven't even though about purchasing The Book Thief. Maybe next time?

    ETA: I don't know if y'all would be interested in reading a memoir, but I really want to read Bossypants by Tina Fey and Jaycee Dugard's book.

    I definitely want to read Jaycee's book.  I was mesmerized during her interview with Diane Sawyer.

    I think we agreed that each month someone will volunteer to host and that person also gets to choose that month's book.  And we'll just rotate until we get through the group.

    I must have totally missed the snark but that's not surprising!

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