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My parents just took in a child.....

2 months ago - Long story short - my sister (one that lives in DC) and BIL have these friends we will call M&S. Well M&S adopted 2 boys who are 7 and 11. They have been there for about 2 years. M&S can't bond and love the 11 yo who we will call J. They say he had issues and wasn't a good kid. They put him in a residential home for behavior kids. That home didn't feel he needed to be there. M&S never went and visited him and didn't even go see him on Easter. :(   M&S wanted to unadopt J and put him back into the foster system.  My sister and I got in a huge huge fight because I called her friends shitty people. They signed those papers and agreed to love him unconditional and they can't, or should I say won't do that. But as time as gone on, she is seeing what I meant about them being shitty people

last week - My parents went to DC and brought him home to live with them so he didn't have to go back into the system. Adoptive mom didn't even hug him when they left. She didn't allow let him bring his bike, Nintendo Ds, NOTHING! Just a few clothes. On the way home he asked my parents when he would be going back home. Sad  His mom didn't even have the courage to tell him that he wasn't!!! Ugh. So my parents had to tell him that he wasn't going to go back to his adoptive parents home bc he would have to go back to a different foster home if he did. They assured him it was not his fault, that his adoptive mother has issues she needs to work out (they really wanted to say your adoptive mom is a major heartless douchebag, but they kept it nice.). He cried for about a half hour after hearing he wasn't returning back home. I don't think its his parents he is really sad about but he does have a 7yo brother that is still with them  Sad(apparently the adoptive parents could love and bond with him).

Anyway he is adapting well here. So far its only been 2 days but he is VERY well behaved! Very polite. Complete sweetheart. Such a cutie. My heart breaks for him. He is calling my parents mom and dad and will say things like "so you guys are my sisters now". SmileHe has walked up and just given my parents a hug out of no where. I really hope it works out for him here.

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Re: My parents just took in a child.....

  • Wow. He does need some counseling ASAP!! Even if he appears fine he is a messed up little boy inside! I think that calling your folks mom and dad already is a little alarming too. Are you parents going to do something to legally keep him? I'd hate for the "parents" to change their mind and want him back one day.
  • OMG how could someone do that to a child, especially one that has already been through a lot in his short life? I agree that those people are shitty people. You parents are amazing for taking him in like that. I really hope it works out for your family!

    Married My Best Friend On May 23rd, 2009
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  • That poor boy, thank goodness there are good people like your parents out there. 
  • They have legal gaurdianship for him right now. Once they know its going to work out (with so many little kids around my parents house they want to make sure there aren't really severe behavior issues there since he has come in and out of foster homes which they don't see being an issue really), then they will go ahead with adopting him and making it completely legal.  I guess I dont see it being weird him calling my parents mom and dad. They told him he could call them whatever he liked. I just think he is an 11 yo boy that wants a mom and dad, kwim. But yes I agree, he does need to get some counseling bc he has been through so much (foster care for 2 years and then in this adoptive home for about 2 years and now here).
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  • That is heartbreaking.  I think some people are shiity for returning PETS... I didn't realize it happens with KIDS too :(

    Your parents are awesome, and I hope he continues to do well!

    SS10 - SD9 - DD7 - DS5 - DS born 10/3/12
  • I grew up in a family where something exactly like this happened with children being "unadopted".  I am so NOT taking the adoptive mother's side, but there is a real disorder called attachment disorder where the child cannot bond, but I am guessing since things are going well so far with your parents that is not the case.

    I am really glad to hear that your parents were able to take him in and love him.  I have my fingers crossed that everything works out.  All that kid wants is a family and god bless your parents for trying to give him one :)

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  • image christieep:

    I grew up in a family where something exactly like this happened with children being "unadopted".  I am so NOT taking the adoptive mother's side, but there is a real disorder called attachment disorder where the child cannot bond, but I am guessing since things are going well so far with your parents that is not the case.

    I am really glad to hear that your parents were able to take him in and love him.  I have my fingers crossed that everything works out.  All that kid wants is a family and god bless your parents for trying to give him one :)

    I beleive there is. My parents have taken probably more then 100 foster  kids when we were growing up and some couldn't bond. :(  But I honestly think in this situtation he is able to. He has given my parents hugs for the heck of and can tell wants to be loved. He is a real sweetie. :)

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  • That is a messed up situation :(  I hope it all works out.
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  • Oh my goodness, that poor kid!  I'm sorry but that is just all kinds of awful and wrong.  And to split up the brothers???  Seriously.  When you adopt, you don't get to have "adopters remorse."  However, good for your parents!!  I'm glad he seems to be adjusting well, but I'm sure he really misses his brother.

    *Arianna & Matthew*
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