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Ugh - how do I go about doing this?

After work on Wednesday, I met one of my guy friends for drinks. We went to the Skirvin. DH ended up meeting us there - the tab may have been $40 for all three of us - I paid with a Skirvin giftcard. No big deal.  Well, I met my friend again on Friday for drinks - DH met us there - our friend had to leave in a rush and WE PAID AGAIN.  The tab?  $120.  I had a $10 glass of wine and DH had two drinks that totaled $20.  So, $30 for our piece of the tab.  Our friend had been there awhile drinking.....I didn't realize DH had paid for all of the drinks until I got into our bank account this morning. I am SO PISSED.  Since December, we have been saving like mad to get our guest bathroom renovated.  Now that the reno has started, I am a nervous wreck that the labor cost will go substantially over our contracted amount (it usually does) so we have continued to live extremely frugally.  I could not believe he paid for our friend's drinks without giving it a second thought ESPECIALLY after I paid for our drinks on Wednesday.

So, the question is, can I go back to my friend and ask for some money to pay for the drinks? It would be one thing if the tab was more "even" = but he had been drinking there for hours - and $90 of the tab was his....what do you think - super tacky?

Re: Ugh - how do I go about doing this?

  •  To me it was tacky of your friend to just leave without handing you all some cash. I would talk to your friend and explain to him why you feel like he should pay for his own bar tab.
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  • image tbvenable:
     To me it was tacky of your friend to just leave without handing you all some cash. I would talk to your friend and explain to him why you feel like he should pay for his own bar tab.

    I would have to agree with this. Did they offer to pay before the rushed out? If not I would have a talk with them. It sounds like they were trying to skip out on the tab.

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  • That was crappy. I don't know if I could say anything, even though I would want to. I'd probably stop meeting him for drinks and if he invites you, tell him you can't pay for drinks since you're focusing on the renos. Maybe he'll offer to pay the tab.
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  • Ugh! I think it depends on if your DH offered to pay or friend just kind of assumed he would.

    I think if DH offered to pay, the next time you go out with friend you could joke, "Dinner's on you, right?" and explain "well, we paid the last couple of times so I figured you'd get this one" OR let it go as a lesson learned.

    If friend assumed, you could just call and say, "Oh, friend, I know you forgot to pay your bar tab the other night, but no worries- we got it for you. The total bill was $120+tip. Your share is $90 so you can just drop off a check this week. Do you need a copy of the receipt?"

  • I'd find out more information as well...maybe he hinted or flat-out told your friend he'd get the tab. Friend shouldn't have accepted regardless, especially since you paid for it the day before, but I'd still want to know how that all went down. And if it's the case that he did offer, I'd probably remind (as gently as I could depending on my level of irritation) him about trying to save the pennies.
  • According to my husband, friend's wife was psycho calling (I remember this).  Friend was irritated the bartender was taking so long to bring him his tab, so friend asked DH to pick up the tab and he would get back to us later.  I don't think either of us realized how many drinks he had (nearly 10 at $10 a pop) or how long he had been there or else I would have asked that he wait. In fact, he probably shouldn't have been driving either but that's another story.

    I just feel weird going back to him and saying "Dude, the tab was over $100, please bring me some cash" - I guess I feel like he should have contacted us later on and said "Hey, yo, I owe you some cash."

    Regardless, the husband needs to get a backbone.  He should not have allowed him to leave without paying his part of the tab.

  • image stripesandspots:

    According to my husband, friend's wife was psycho calling (I remember this).  Friend was irritated the bartender was taking so long to bring him his tab, so friend asked DH to pick up the tab and he would get back to us later.  I don't think either of us realized how many drinks he had (nearly 10 at $10 a pop) or how long he had been there or else I would have asked that he wait. In fact, he probably shouldn't have been driving either but that's another story.

    I just feel weird going back to him and saying "Dude, the tab was over $100, please bring me some cash" - I guess I feel like he should have contacted us later on and said "Hey, yo, I owe you some cash."

    Regardless, the husband needs to get a backbone.  He should not have allowed him to leave without paying his part of the tab.

    I totally agree. Hopefully when you and you H talk about this he will know better next time.

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  • OUKapOUKap member
    Eighth Anniversary
    If he said he would get back with you, I tend to think he should pay up. But I don't know how to do that with tact. But sometimes tacky people should be treated without tact.
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