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How to say this...

So this weekend is my surprise party for DH's 30th birthday.  However, my grandfather is not expected to make it more than a couple more days (the party is on Sunday afternoon).  The plan is that when grandpa passes, I'm going to drive up to my family's house (they live about 6 hours away), and DH will come up later (he doesn't get as many days off because it's his in-laws).  I have made the decision that if my grandfather passes before Sunday, I'm going to cancel the party so I can leave right away.  I have called several people on the guest list who we are really close with to let them know what the plan is (they know grandpa is very sick).

So my question is, how do I tell the people that we are not as close with, if it comes to that?  Clearly, I will have to tell DH at that point (some things like the cake can't be cancelled that close to the event), but what do I say to his coworkers that don't know grandpa is sick?

MIL (who is down this week for the party) said we can take the food (I ordered a cheese and veggie tray for the party) up with us to my family's house.  She lives in the same town, so will probably go up with me.  She said it might be nice to have something like that up there anyway for people to munch on when they come.

Please help me know how to handle this very emotional situation!  TIA!

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Re: How to say this...

  • I think you're so close to it that you don't see the very obvious answer: "I'm sorry, but the party is canceled.  My grandfather has passed away."  No need to say any more than that.

    And yes, having the food there will be very helpful. 

  • I agree with pp.  No need to give people a heads up.  If you need to cancel, perhaps you can enlist a close friend to take care of calling guests so you can be with your family.  And yes, bring the party platters if you need to cancel. 
  • Thanks so much ladies.  You are right.  I am to close to be able to see the obvious, simple answer.  So thanks for pointing it out.
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  • Honestly?  Why not just cancel the party NOW?  Reschedule it for a different weekend.........it doesn't have to be THE weekend of your husband's birthday, and people will surely understand why the party was moved to a few weeks later. 

    Even given the circumstances.........I'd rather find out the party is canceled today so that I can still make plans for my weekend, then revolve all of my plans around a party that you already know full well will probably be canceled anyway.

    And you don't need the added stress of worrying about the party this weekend anyway.

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  • image Maybride2:

    Honestly?  Why not just cancel the party NOW?  Reschedule it for a different weekend.........it doesn't have to be THE weekend of your husband's birthday, and people will surely understand why the party was moved to a few weeks later. 

    Even given the circumstances.........I'd rather find out the party is canceled today so that I can still make plans for my weekend, then revolve all of my plans around a party that you already know full well will probably be canceled anyway.

    And you don't need the added stress of worrying about the party this weekend anyway.

    I actually did.  I just reached my breaking point today, and just decided the stress of finishing party things and dealing with the stress of my grandfather was to much for me.  The first person I called was a good friend of ours that works with DH and had his coworkers' phone numbers.  So she even offered to call the coworkers for me.  I thought that was really nice of her to take that stress off of me.

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    [url=http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/338844]
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