New Jersey Nesties

Christmas card to a recent widow

A friend of the family lost her husband to cancer last month. They were in their 60s, and he was sick for a while ... we last saw her at the wake, and through my mom (they're friends) I heard that she's doing O.K. and she had time to make peace with it.

Anyway, I'm getting ready to send out our holiday cards and I'm debating what to do about hers. I'm hesitant because the card has three photos of me and MH - one from our April wedding (which they were invited to but declined since he was sick), and two from our summer vacation. I just don't want to make her sad with three photos of a happy young married couple when her husband is gone, know what I mean?

I also don't know whether I should write a note on the back of the card, which we didn't do for anyone else. And if so, all I can think of us, "We hope you're doing well" ... and then what?

Any suggestions? I know I'm overthinking it but I want to do the right thing.

[Poll]
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Re: Christmas card to a recent widow

  • I think you're very thoughful... but you might be over thinking this one.  You think her seeing a Christmas card of a happily married couple is going to ruin her day?  She's going to look at the card and think "she was a beautful bride, what a lovely card" and put it in the stack with all of the other Christmas cards.  If you want to write a nice note (something that you'd write to anybody else) just wish her a happy holiday season and say you look forward to the next time you see her. 

  • image mbcdefg:

    A friend of the family lost her husband to cancer last month. They were in their 60s, and he was sick for a while ... we last saw her at the wake, and through my mom (they're friends) I heard that she's doing O.K. and she had time to make peace with it.

    Anyway, I'm getting ready to send out our holiday cards and I'm debating what to do about hers. I'm hesitant because the card has three photos of me and MH - one from our April wedding (which they were invited to but declined since he was sick), and two from our summer vacation. I just don't want to make her sad with three photos of a happy young married couple when her husband is gone, know what I mean?

    I also don't know whether I should write a note on the back of the card, which we didn't do for anyone else. And if so, all I can think of us, "We hope you're doing well" ... and then what?

    Any suggestions? I know I'm overthinking it but I want to do the right thing.

    I'd handwrite a little note on the back..

    Sending you lots of strength and love during the holiday season.  Hope you are doing well. 


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  • We had the same debate for my cousin's widow last year. He was a little younger than me and their son (named Matthew) was a few months younger than our Matthew. I was afraid a smiling family of three might be too much for her. But my mom told me to send the card. His widow later told my hand she was happy to have been included on our list.
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