Philadelphia Nesties

newlywed survival kit ideas

As I may have mentioned in previous years, we do a very elaborate (to say the very least), Secret Santa gift exchange every year at work.  We do presentations, songs, skits, dances, costumes, you name it.  My person this year is a good friend and was just married last month, so I decided to do a "Newlywed survival kit" from her younger, but wiser married coworker. :-)  I'm trying to gather a bunch of funny stuff and then wrap each one individually with notes on each that she will read aloud.

I googled and came up with a few on my own, but I'm looking for more ideas.  Most of the stuff I found when googling is super cheesetastic.  The funnier (or raunchier) the better.  Here's what I have so far:

champagne - to toast to her new marriage

pregnancy test - may need it after the bottle of champagne

earplugs - to drown out husband's snoring or for husband to drown out wife's chatting (will be funny to the group because she's a chatter)

magic 8 ball - to solve a disagreement

white flag - to surrender during an argument (I think my DH and I need this)

Anything else that could be really funny?

 


Re: newlywed survival kit ideas

  • Our neighbors gave my husband a "survival kit" when we had DS.

    It had a staple's "That was easy" button that would work for this. 

    My roommates in college gave us a basket of wine with "first" tags on it.

    First fight/make up

    First Christmas

    First Thanksgiving

    First vacation

    etc 

    image
  • Someone gave me a candle kit similar to the wine one above.. A candle to light when we have our first fight.  A candle to light when we make up.  Etc.  (I like the wine idea better though)   ;)
  • inflatable boxing gloves- just in case the white flag doesn't work

    mini bottles of booze in a tool box- one labeled mother in law, one labeled home repairs, one labeled annoying office party (insert joke here about how that would obviously be his and not yours), etc

    the dollar store has goofy ribbons for 1st place, best blah blah whatever that could be funny in this sort of a present.  like a first place ribbon for best job cleaning the kitchen. 

    image
  • The easy button is perfect!  My cousin got one when she had twins. She was trying for her 3rd and ended up with two more.  Now she takes a photo every year since the twins with the whole family and she holds the easy button. It's adorable.

    I love the wine idea too, I ripped that idea off for my MIL's 60th bday.  I did a bottle of wine a month, all from different countries, and called it a "Trip Around the World".  I got DIL of the century award for that one. The only problem is this gift is like a $20 max, but everyone usually goes over.

  • image ering1115:

    inflatable boxing gloves- just in case the white flag doesn't work

    mini bottles of booze in a tool box- one labeled mother in law, one labeled home repairs, one labeled annoying office party (insert joke here about how that would obviously be his and not yours), etc

    the dollar store has goofy ribbons for 1st place, best blah blah whatever that could be funny in this sort of a present.  like a first place ribbon for best job cleaning the kitchen. 

    Ahh Erin you are brilliant, my friend!!! Thank you! 

    These ideas are so adorable!  I have them all on my list now.  :-D 

  • Something easy to add would be an envelope containing the magic words to a successful marriage?.

     

    ?Yes Dear?

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  • image NewQueen:

    Something easy to add would be an envelope containing the magic words to a successful marriage?.

     

    ?Yes Dear?

    i was trying to think of something like this.  How about a flow chart for how to handle an argument.  i'm picturing something with the wife on one side, husband on the other, and argument scenarios (visiting the IL, spending too much money, where to vacation, etc.).  On the wife's side, there would be different responses for each fight, but all paths lead to "Yes Dear" on the husband's side.  Seems elaborate, but could be cool.

    Or how about cards, board games, coin collection, etc. for when the sex stops.

     

     

  • I love both ideas and I love the cards/board games thing. Like to throw in a random Jenga game would be hilarious.
  • image ooodsie:
    Someone gave me a candle kit similar to the wine one above.. A candle to light when we have our first fight.  A candle to light when we make up.  Etc.  (I like the wine idea better though)   ;)

    I got candles like this at my bridal shower.  I like the wine better.  I cannot find our box of candles yet since moving! 

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